Status Updates - Let Everyone Know How You Feel - NewbieNudes

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bimarriedbottom's Recent Statuses
Thu, 4-Apr-24 6:42 PM (19 days ago)
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150th Kentucky Derby coming soon. Party!!!!!!!!! (World famous horse race.)
McPhallus and mojo75nz like this
there “were” block parties… anyway they call it the most exciting 2 minutes in sports. Marketing has spun it into a 2-3 week party. Starts with a massive fireworks show.
(19 days ago)
McPhallus likes this
oh .. xxxxxxxx I didn't know we needed an excuse to drink bourbon.. oops
(19 days ago)
oops. I guess that was a naughty word haha... should have said shiz lol
(19 days ago)
Drinking rum, no excuse needed,,, well ok im solo sad
(19 days ago)
Mint Juleps. I'm usually doing yard work. Come inside to watch for 5 minutes and return to work. Get it that it's a big deal, but idk.
(19 days ago)
Sun, 31-Mar-24 12:01 PM (23 days ago)
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HE IS RISEN. “He” of course is my penis. Haha you thought I meant Jesus???? Happy Easter! Or whatever you’re into!
So did he see his shadow this year or not???
(23 days ago)
MrsTrellis and McPhallus like this
Happy Easter bimarried 💋
(23 days ago)
Glad I kept this one in my head.
(23 days ago)
anonymouspisces likes this
I might add the 2nd cumming also occurred, truly a blessed day at my age! 🤣🤣🤣 No doubt AGR is baking some deliciousness!
(23 days ago)
"He" is about to be chopped off and ascend to heaven scared tongue raspberry w00t
(23 days ago)
Tue, 9-Jan-24 8:06 PM (105 days ago)
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After nearly 18 we sat down for verification pics. It’s official, we aren’t fake! Hurray! 😂😂😂
Congrats,I bet the men aren't to happy your wife is covered up.
(105 days ago)
AGR, it was among the first comments 😆 but she was cold.
(105 days ago)
Ok smile
(105 days ago)
I thought it was your job to keep her warm,need to up your game man
(105 days ago)
Just noticed my typo in the original post. Damn it! 18 YEARS it should read but you all figured out. And AGR, I do my best! 😁
(105 days ago)
Sun, 7-Jan-24 10:44 PM (107 days ago)
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False alarm on the first ever video chat. She chickened out after I took the verification pics! Sorry! Hope for the future…
Saetyrical and drgoode845 like this
Thats a bummer. would love to see you both on video chat .. xx
(107 days ago)
As in the pics, she’s afraid of being identified. I told her to watch the camera angles but…oh well. She might warm up to the idea.
(107 days ago)
McPhallus likes this
How many people outside of here have seen her naked,hey bimarried xxx
(107 days ago)
We used to play around some, but it was many years ago when she quit. And then it was mostly guys for me, she never had much interest in anyone fucking her. A few did, I loved it! But she got …
(107 days ago)
…extremely jealous over time and eventually quit so it’s been 12 years or more. The last guy we met from NN! Life goes on.
(107 days ago)
McPhallus likes this
Sun, 7-Jan-24 10:42 AM (107 days ago)
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There’s a chance we may play on video chat for the first time ever later today. Have to figure out the nuts and bolts of it first. Old people and technology…😂
Well have fun xxx
(107 days ago)
Saetyrical likes this
Let me know how when you have. 🤔, old lol
(107 days ago)
Tue, 26-Dec-23 4:02 AM (120 days ago)
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Stupid fat fingers. 11:00 PM Christmas Day, dear god everyone is finally gone. Is it wrong to want my house back, alone with my wife?
Mon, 25-Dec-23 1:11 PM (120 days ago)
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Ho Ho Ho!
not aloud say that, hoes git offended, is now "hay hay hay" ...
(120 days ago)
beer beer beer
(120 days ago)
burgerburgerburger
(120 days ago)
Tue, 19-Sep-23 6:15 PM (217 days ago)
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I said fuck it and wore it on the beach. Looking good? 😛 or 😱No one screamed!
I'm just thinking that if my dear friend continue to post jokes we might need to get a gong . . .
(216 days ago)
MitchandDaisy likes this
cmp, I'm old enough to remember just about anything and everything except music lyrics.
(216 days ago)
cmp304 and thyknlong like this
Remember "The Gong Show Movie" from 1980? Basically all the stuff that was to dirty or discusting for the TV show.
(216 days ago)
^^ Or a shepherd's crook to haul him off stage.
(216 days ago)
Should be ^^^
(216 days ago)
Fri, 15-Sep-23 5:30 PM (221 days ago)
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Last day of vacation on the Florida beach. Back to reality tomorrow. 😤 On the plus side my speedos caused zero commotion. That I’m aware of…😂
The weather been nice for the beach, hope you enjoyed!
(221 days ago)
Got friends trying to convince us to move to the Sarasota area. The white sand is beautiful but it’s too crowded for me! Lots of great food and sun.
(221 days ago)
Fri, 1-Sep-23 5:24 PM (235 days ago)
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Interesting about the new block feature…it appears I’m blocked by a few! Now I wonder what the offense was…sorry to whoever, but of course they’ll never see this! 🤣
We'll block people that act like they are a friend until you need some support then they bail
(235 days ago)
Mr_Girth_Brooks likes this
I've never blocked anyone grin
(235 days ago)
I’ve only blocked a few whose pics are too extreme even for this aging bottom guy! But pics only. No problem conversing.
(235 days ago)
smitten4u likes this
I only block those who blocked me
(235 days ago)
lennynatural and clittylicker like this
I’ve only blocked two people - and deservedly so.
(235 days ago)
smitten4u likes this
Mon, 14-Aug-23 3:39 PM (253 days ago)
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Life marches on. Hot and humid summer now, soon enough we will be in the damp freezing winter. Good camping weather either way! 😆
bugguy905 and smitten4u like this
Mon, 3-Jul-23 10:18 PM (295 days ago)
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We afford our beloved pets more dignity than we do people often times. So much joy, short lived, so much pain. Life goes on. Regardless. Cheers NN! Think I’ll have another drink.
Definitely no need to apologise...status is for everyone 😊
(295 days ago)
*hugs
(295 days ago)
plumguy likes this
so sorry to hear, big hugs heart
(295 days ago)
plumguy likes this
Sucks losing family, no need for apologies
(295 days ago)
I agree .. sending my condolences! 💐
(295 days ago)
Mon, 29-May-23 12:48 PM (330 days ago)
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♥️🤍💙
(330 days ago)
100% correct. Thanks those who have served for their service.
(330 days ago)
GottaBeMe likes this
Wed, 4-Jan-23 4:17 PM (1 year ago)
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2023…perhaps THIS will be the year…
smitten4u likes this
I am hoping it is my year to bottom for a real man.
(1 year ago)
CockLover35 likes this
Sat, 31-Dec-22 10:09 PM (1 year ago)
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7 hours to go still in my time zone. Happy New Year’s to all of you future dwellers! Got USDA Prime Filet beef for dinner, other yummy stuff. Everyone be safe!
I don't know what I'm going to have except someone else is making it smile Happy New Year, Bi!
(1 year ago)
1 hr 37 min here and I will be well asleep
(1 year ago)
Sun, 25-Dec-22 11:29 AM (1 year ago)
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Merry Christmas everyone!
smitten4u, NicRae and LOVEXXXPORN like this
and to you and yours!
(1 year ago)
Sun, 25-Dec-22 3:48 AM (1 year ago)
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Damn fat fin
Sun, 25-Dec-22 3:48 AM (1 year ago)
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Damn fat fin…
Sun, 25-Dec-22 3:48 AM (1 year ago)
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Still
Tue, 20-Dec-22 10:19 PM (1 year ago)
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I can’t stand Will Farrell but I love the movie Elf. Merry Christmas everyone!
you can see anyones pics from photo page, not needed to go via profile
(1 year ago)
AdeleGingerRaine likes this
thank you autistic, ever mr logistics grin sorry, typo on the r, to bad i can't go back and fix it tongue
(1 year ago)
autistic and mr...well...thanks??
(1 year ago)
AdeleGingerRaine likes this
Sorry,typing doesn't allow for sarcasm or anything so it seemed that way and I don't know you so I don't know how you react to others,my apologies
(1 year ago)
Well this comment stream took a turn. Have a good evening everyone!
(1 year ago)
AdeleGingerRaine likes this
Tue, 13-Dec-22 12:26 PM (1 year ago)
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Is it possible KirkJ has been reincarnated? Reanimated? Recent pics…🤣
irk Johnson died in 2013 known as Goatse, he died from a gastrointestinal hemorrhage, he was famous here as Kirk J,
(1 year ago)
Jagged_Edges likes this
Kirk*
(1 year ago)
I guess it was the bus that killed him tc
(1 year ago)
Apparently....(urban myth) he was trying to insert a volleyball..0-o.
(1 year ago)
The Eiffel Tower would tremble as he approached.
(1 year ago)
Mon, 28-Nov-22 3:03 PM (1 year ago)
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Wink function…anyone use it? I finally found where to see the list but then what? Wink back? Then what? Wink wink nudge nudge!
bluebayour6 likes this
Total waste of time if you ask me.
(1 year ago)
Say no more …..
(1 year ago)
Liking and/or commenting on a picture (where the recipient gets a notification at least) would be a more logical way to show interest......
(1 year ago)
Say No More!!!!
(1 year ago)
Mon, 7-Nov-22 2:21 PM (1 year ago)
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Male profile with nothing but pics with captions as if it was a woman, asking to be degraded. Nothing suspicious there. I may have become cynical in my old age.
^^^two can play that game
(1 year ago)
Their problem 😆
(1 year ago)
are you suggesting that some people tell porkies on the internet????,....what an interesting NEW concept hehehehehehehe
(1 year ago)
TopCat57 likes this
‘Bimarriedbottom’ is spot on. Even a nice body in harsh, unflattering light makes for poor pictures. A little effort into lighting, framing and positioning goes a long way
(1 year ago)
TopCat57 likes this
And is it common to have naked pics of yourself as your phones wallpaper? Definitely a first for me, lol
(1 year ago)
Tue, 16-Aug-22 8:48 PM (1 year ago)
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After many years my wife has expressed interest in seeing comments on her pic again! Hurray! So now I need to get to posting.
yes you do, love viewing your beautiful wife
(1 year ago)
Sun, 7-Aug-22 12:20 AM (1 year ago)
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Pickling hot peppers from the garden. Poor harvest this year, too damn hot even for peppers! But yummy still.
Time to make some jerk chicken! I gave up on my tomatoes. We just haven't had enough rain
(1 year ago)
The tomatoes were a near total bust. Waste of time and money and effort. Maybe next year!
(1 year ago)
juicy likes this
I'm starting to get tomatoes. And the pepper plants are showing a lot of little ones, they are getting bigger everyday. Had some failures early in the season, but overall it doesn't look bad.
(1 year ago)
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