Laphroaigh's Recent Statuses
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Thu, 22-Aug-24 8:53 PM (76 days ago)
"..Some asshole has my pen.." thought the nurse picking a rectal thermometer out of her pocket
Was it originally in Italian, Laph? I'd love to see the original.
(76 days ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
"Вы хотите записаться членом?" "Нет, лучше карандашом."
(76 days ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
If you ever had a thermometer up your ass, you know how a pen feels.
(76 days ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
The main difference between a rectal and oral thermometer is the taste.
(75 days ago)
Laphroaigh and Artistic like this
Sun, 11-Aug-24 10:29 AM (87 days ago)
..just noticed we can self-report... then if you do something against the rules you can report yourself without waiting for someone else to do it. lovely
*makes Laphroaig walk the plank for making the other mateys look bad.
(87 days ago)
Jersey__Girl likes this
Sun, 31-Mar-24 7:40 PM (220 days ago)
it's amazing when you meet someone with a likewise perve mind
After viewing your profile, I sure hope we have the same perve mind!
(219 days ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
*hugs everyone with love *_*
(220 days ago)
Sun, 15-Oct-23 11:14 AM (1 year ago)
today it's been two months since I stopped.. so far no effort.. should I be worried?? ..NN's helping a lot
Congratulations sexy,it's been almost 7 years for me and still don't get the urge, and others smoking around me doesn't bother me at all....
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh and bigabner like this
Well done Mr.Malt, keep it up! And you won't smell like an ashtray : )
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
Mon, 9-Oct-23 5:30 PM (1 year ago)
NaughtyKat likes this
NaughtyKat likes this
Glad to hear it worked! And well done for managing to use the ginger too.
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
You prolly should specify the remedy isn't a potion to get aroused! 🤣
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
Oh good because I've just started knitting for the mafia. They call me scarf ace.
(1 year ago)
captain__82 and Laphroaigh like this
I cooked for the mob on Sunday, they wanted broken leg of lamb
(1 year ago)
Laph is right NK. Kenny G..Louis G (Luigi). I didn’t make it up. Was just saying Laph could have gone with a worse joke.
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
I did. Spaghetti breaking, seen worse. Using fork & knife, cutting them ghetti... yep they eat them that way.
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
Sun, 24-Sep-23 11:49 AM (1 year ago)
I've just been diagnosed with a slight eardrum tear.. can you speak louder please
Must have been some concert, damn! Were you at Louder Than Life here? Hope it heals.
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
Starts learning sign language to communicate with Laph.
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
Thu, 21-Sep-23 12:59 PM (1 year ago)
🎶 … O stare nudi in mezzo a un campo A sentirsi addosso il vento, Io non chiedo più di tanto, Anche se muoio son contento 🎶
EmuLater likes this
And the second...kick the Ass Button?
(1 year ago)
SexyEnglishBabe and Laphroaigh like this
now I understand... u just press "time to go back to work, laphodil" so can get rid of me and steal everything!! smart move -.-
(1 year ago)
SexyEnglishBabe and EmuLater like this
Time to get some lunch before that gets stolen!
(1 year ago)
SexyEnglishBabe and Laphroaigh like this
Sat, 2-Sep-23 6:02 PM (1 year ago)
I hate so much AI generated images .. especially those representing nudes!! so grateful NN exists!
Fri, 18-Aug-23 10:30 PM (1 year ago)
if u consider unnatural/immoral a love different from ur canons of "normality", I say it's unnatural/immoral that u spend so much time thinking about how other ppl decide to have sex or fall in love!
Tue, 8-Aug-23 7:53 PM (1 year ago)
still awkward when ppl who don't know me give a complete description of my personality from the zodiac sign.. and they don't get a single one
Artistic likes this
wait no longer....you're a virgo, you love boobs, hugz, metal and beer!!"
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh and MrsTrellis like this
Some, actually many traits of Virgos are totally me. It’s a bit odd. But don’t hug me. Unless we’re naked and you’re female. 😁
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
Wed, 2-Aug-23 5:04 PM (1 year ago)
to await a pleasure, is itself a pleasure.. that's why I'm always late when I have a love date
Fri, 7-Jul-23 9:11 PM (1 year ago)
they say the doing is often more important than the outcome .. I agree! especially when you fail the outcome free time to perve at last
yeah... and African anticyclone is coming. News said next week we will reach 50°C (122F) ..
(1 year ago)
Jersey__Girl likes this
Thu, 27-Apr-23 8:21 PM (1 year ago)
I wrote "hi" she answered "I'm a very direct girl, I don't like to beat the bush around and I love direct guys" ..apparently greetings are too much to bear nowadays
Lap, I've been trying to transform for years, let me know when you figure out how
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh likes this
Sun, 23-Apr-23 11:23 PM (1 year ago)
if u went back in time to correct the biggest mistake of ur life.. u would transform into a completely different person. Love yourself and go on! also cause time travel is not possible
Thu, 20-Apr-23 6:28 PM (1 year ago)
I must say I'm grateful I don't belong to a species where the woman eats me after we have sex
I would have to agree with the smitten, I would rather be the eater than the eatie
(1 year ago)
some like to be eaten first, some after
(1 year ago)
I might need to do a hunger strike lao lol I will be hungry after that
(1 year ago)
Laphroaigh and smitten4u like this
Tue, 18-Apr-23 2:59 PM (1 year ago)
..just found an "italian accent generator": el-lo I'm-a a nice italiano gooy, I'm-a single and look forrr a pasta (I wrote "woman" btw)
don't get it.. how can you talk WITHOUT the hand thing? keeps your balance :laugh
(1 year ago)
I've been watching this post waiting for a comment about meatballs.......guess I'm getting impatient.....
(1 year ago)
That's-a some spicy meat-a-ball! (Yeah, showing my age )
(1 year ago)
If a my granda mother had a wheels, she a woulda been a bike! (One for the Brits matey)
(1 year ago)
Mr_Vein and Laphroaigh like this
Thu, 6-Apr-23 1:22 PM (1 year ago)
sitting on the toilet while they're drilling directly above your head on the roof.. the noise so loud you're afraid the roof will collapse at any moment
rhinostool and MissAshlee like this
Wed, 5-Apr-23 6:45 PM (1 year ago)
(matchbox 20 + maroon 5) * eve6 + (sum 41 - 9 inch nails) = blink 182.. hello pervs!
Sun, 2-Apr-23 7:52 PM (1 year ago)
ate so much this weekend.. 2 days, 2 parties..I'm stuffed, would love a belly rub right now
MissAshlee likes this
Fri, 31-Mar-23 10:28 PM (1 year ago)
ok now tell me if you know a movie-couple more lovely than Pam and Jim (The Office).. yeah I'm watching it now for the first time. 4rd season, no spoiler