Status Updates - Let Everyone Know How You Feel - NewbieNudes

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EmuLater's Recent Statuses
Sun, 24-Mar-24 9:18 PM (4 days ago)
tip
Another drama llama blocked smile
I'm not a Llama...hi Emu xx
(4 days ago)
This status seems a bit woolly
(4 days ago)
Thu, 21-Mar-24 4:03 PM (7 days ago)
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"Delivery rider bites off customer's thumb during row over pizza"
Agent_K likes this
"The right-hand thumb could not be saved and doctor’s decided to attached part of the plumber’s big toe onto the stump instead."
(7 days ago)
lennynatural and Agent_K like this
Now he's going to walk funny. Lesson learned, make your own pizza.
(7 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
thumbup
(7 days ago)
It's put me off of finger food!
(7 days ago)
lennynatural likes this
Let me guess, the row was over whether pineapple belongs on pizza!
(7 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Tue, 19-Mar-24 6:48 PM (9 days ago)
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"Essex man, 39, jailed for cyber-flashing in first of its kind case in England and Wales" Do not send unsolicited pics of your dick to anyone!
Dignitea, Mr_Vein and MitchandDaisy like this
He was sentenced to 66 weeks behind bars!
(9 days ago)
Dignitea and Mr_Vein like this
Lots of men will suddenly be very nervous.
(9 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Woh really?
(9 days ago)
Well, I'm not making it up!
(9 days ago)
Artistic likes this
Thu, 14-Mar-24 5:31 PM (14 days ago)
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I woke up to find my moustache was missing this morning. Someone must have stolen it from right under my nose.
Fbvines and SpiritWolf68 like this
Sun, 10-Mar-24 10:47 AM (19 days ago)
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I got a new car for my Mom this Mother’s Day. It’s the best trade I ever made.
I did a similar trade for my wife one year but she came back.
(19 days ago)
EmuLater and tugking70 like this
My ex mother in law was the same - I called her the Terminator
(19 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Emulater, you are my morning joke King. Rock on.
(19 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Want to trade for a green Range Rover? 🚙
(18 days ago)
Now all you need to do is save up for next Mother’s Day to get her a gallon of petrol to put in it
(18 days ago)
Fri, 8-Mar-24 9:15 AM (21 days ago)
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One of the animals in the local zoo is pregnant, but nobody is comfortable talking about it. It’s the elephant in the womb.
Bahahaha I LOL'd
(21 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Tell it to pack it's trunk and leave the zoo.
(21 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Very good
(21 days ago)
Thu, 7-Mar-24 11:27 AM (22 days ago)
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Breaking news: A truck full of pepper mills has crashed on the highway. The traffic has ground to a halt.
spunky4u, shaqila, ksaint and Fbvines like this
Now that is nothing to sneeze at!
(22 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Oh Emu 🤣🤣🤣
(22 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Tue, 5-Mar-24 12:14 PM (24 days ago)
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I’m currently reading a book about a couple of insects who fall in love in an Italian city. It’s a Rome ants novel.
*trips Emu and grabs joke of the day and runs...wait,thinks better of it and burns down his library too.. grin
(24 days ago)
Nods insexts.
(23 days ago)
Freckles likes this
Fri, 1-Mar-24 10:06 AM (28 days ago)
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I was alone in the bath. Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
Ello boys!
(28 days ago)
ksaint likes this
Hello Mellie, you are always in the back of my mind!
(28 days ago)
ksaint and MellieK like this
Hi Mellie!
(28 days ago)
MellieK likes this
*agrees with Spunky, especially when talking about a bath
(28 days ago)
MellieK likes this
Never mind the tap on the shoulder, where was the plug???
(27 days ago)
Wed, 28-Feb-24 11:22 AM (30 days ago)
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My doctor told me that I’m suffering from insomnia. I asked, “Is it serious?” He said, “There’s no cause for any alarm.”
Sun, 18-Feb-24 10:57 AM (40 days ago)
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How can you tell when a bucket gets sick? It becomes a little pale.
Groans a bit… Morning!
(40 days ago)
EmuLater and McPhallus like this
Water simple joke.
(40 days ago)
EmuLater and McPhallus like this
Morning you two smile
(40 days ago)
MellieK and hornyfukcer like this
It tries to keep up appearances though. Bouquet. 😜
(40 days ago)
hornyfukcer and McPhallus like this
Hyacinth? 😁
(40 days ago)
Relaxer and McPhallus like this
Sat, 17-Feb-24 10:53 AM (41 days ago)
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Apparently exercising helps with decision making. It’s true! I went for a jog today and decided I’m never going again.
Tue, 13-Feb-24 6:10 PM (44 days ago)
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Steve Wright has passed away. sad RIP
😞
(44 days ago)
That's really sad,I loved his comedy....everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
(44 days ago)
^^^ AGR. The Steve Wright he is referring to is a well liked UK Radio DJ. Died unexpectedly aged 69
(44 days ago)
McPhallus likes this
My bad,I saw Steven for some reason instead of Steve,if I had typed Steve Wright in I would have found,any death is sad..R.I.P
(44 days ago)
McPhallus likes this
Is it too soon to ask if it was on the afternoon?
(44 days ago)
Tue, 13-Feb-24 2:53 PM (45 days ago)
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It's pissing down here... That ends today's weather forecast. smile
Heavy snow falling here.
(45 days ago)
Swap your surfboard for a snowboard.
(44 days ago)
ksaint likes this
Good idea. But I still like skiing better than snowboarding.
(44 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Sat, 10-Feb-24 9:38 AM (48 days ago)
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It is known that there are five Great Lakes in North America. But one is truly Superior.
There used to be six, but Greg passed away sad
(48 days ago)
Fri, 9-Feb-24 8:55 AM (49 days ago)
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I managed to resuscitate a clown the other day. He’s now on laugh support.
LOL
(49 days ago)
🤦🏼
(49 days ago)
Wed, 7-Feb-24 8:24 AM (51 days ago)
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I told my wife our next door neighbor died. She said, “Who? Ray?” I told her it was way too early to celebrate like that.
Nice profile pic Emu xxx
(51 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Thanks for the compliments! xx smile
(51 days ago)
Tue, 6-Feb-24 11:00 AM (52 days ago)
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LOL
(52 days ago)
Usual story, it or looks or sounds too good to be true...
(52 days ago)
Those gullibles will be alllll over it though!
(52 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
I see what you did,hey Emu hey, lovely Gottasmile
(52 days ago)
Tue, 6-Feb-24 9:04 AM (52 days ago)
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My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they prepare the food right in front of you. So I took her to Subway... It wasn't a happy meal.
Should’ve gone to the Golden Arches for a happy meal
(52 days ago)
Mon, 5-Feb-24 6:05 PM (52 days ago)
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Just announced on TV: King Charles diagnosed with cancer and will take step back from official duties. sad
SashaDoll and McPhallus like this
Shame sad
(52 days ago)
McPhallus likes this
That is a shame, he’s waited so long to be king
(52 days ago)
McPhallus likes this
Could King William be around the corner?
(52 days ago)
Never been a fan of Charles but as someone who has travelled that road I wish him well.
(52 days ago)
SashaDoll likes this
It's sad news but I'm glad he shared his illness with the people we are all human at the end off the day
(52 days ago)
Sun, 4-Feb-24 10:26 AM (54 days ago)
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I didn’t like working at the steel plant. It smelt.
She said, kiss me somewhere smelly, so I took her to Port Talbot.
(54 days ago)
EmuLater and Relaxer like this
A good place to steel a kiss
(54 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Third shift you could steel away in the night.
(54 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Then she could gird er loins
(54 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Sat, 3-Feb-24 8:58 AM (55 days ago)
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I hired a landscape gardener the other day. But he told me that he couldn’t do the work, because my garden is portrait.
Oh my gourd!
(55 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Sounds a bit abstract
(54 days ago)
Mon, 29-Jan-24 4:56 PM (59 days ago)
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Emu wearing a scarf. smile
You're so weird LOL *runs >>>>>>>>
(59 days ago)
...and you're not?
(59 days ago)
I didnt say thatgrin
(59 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Very fetching.
(59 days ago)
EmuLater and Jersey__Girl like this
And who said that emus aren't intelligent? It's cold!
(59 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Sun, 28-Jan-24 8:20 AM (61 days ago)
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What would happen if you torpedoed a Finnish man’s boat? Helsinki.
Is that like two guys in a bath playing battle ships ?? Who won emu
(61 days ago)
Sat, 27-Jan-24 1:04 PM (62 days ago)
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A scarf can be so versatile! smile
SexyEnglishBabe likes this
Oh cool,is that going to be SEB's new pic *runs away again laughing maniacallyLOL 👋 Emu>>>>>>>>>
(61 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
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