Jersey__Girl's Recent Statuses
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Fri, 7-Feb-25 12:15 AM (277 days ago)
Rated by the NY Times as the best vibrator, the Hit_a_chi Magic Wand is on sale, just in case you need one. You're welcome.
Thu, 6-Feb-25 3:19 AM (278 days ago)
Have you ever had severe Vertigo, the kind where you think you're going to fall off the earth? It is very scary. Going to the ER in an ambulance was no fun either.
(274 days ago)
Thu, 16-Jan-25 10:54 PM (298 days ago)
I think it's time to clean the fridge. Something just closed the door from the inside.
Thu, 9-Jan-25 11:59 PM (305 days ago)
<<--Marks herself safe from the southern California fires. Sad for those that are endangered.
Wed, 1-Jan-25 6:45 AM (314 days ago)
Lift up your left foot so you can start the new year on the right foot. Happy New Year, everyone.
Tue, 31-Dec-24 2:45 AM (315 days ago)
It's been a shtty year, so I'm planning to burn the calender in the fireplace tomorrow night. What are your NYE plans?
(314 days ago)
Fri, 27-Dec-24 8:12 PM (318 days ago)
Much to my surprise, I found Santa in my (in)box this morning. What a lovely change from the usual dick pics.
I haven't received any coal, so I guess so.
(318 days ago)
I’m sure Santa would love that idea Lenny, not so sur Mrs Claus would though… 🙂
(318 days ago)
beware of old fat white guys with beards bearing gifts
(318 days ago)
Wed, 25-Dec-24 10:15 PM (320 days ago)
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but 5 extra pounds on hips, thighs and rear. It was worth it, though.
five ten fifteen quid, jeez i like make that much ... oh wait i still got fourty five million .... poo its hard but i can make a sacrifice or two
(320 days ago)
Tue, 24-Dec-24 8:12 PM (321 days ago)
If you haven't gotten my holiday wish on your profile yet, I'm getting there. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to those who celebrate.
(320 days ago)
Sun, 22-Dec-24 9:47 PM (323 days ago)
Not everyone is in touch with her inner child, but I've seen a lot with inner idiots that surface now and then.
(323 days ago)
Anytime I look in the mirror, there's this idiot looking back....
(323 days ago)
(322 days ago)
Fri, 20-Dec-24 2:10 AM (326 days ago)
In other news, as if Covid, regular flu and RSV weren't enough, now we have to worry about bird flu.
California has warning labels stuck to the water as it comes out the faucet.
(326 days ago)
Wed, 18-Dec-24 6:41 AM (328 days ago)
<<-- Covers up status with a blanket, kisses your foreheads and bids you goodnight.
Mon, 16-Dec-24 2:23 AM (330 days ago)
If I'm ever on life support, unplug me, wait a minute, then plug me back in. See if that works.
Tue, 10-Dec-24 11:18 PM (335 days ago)
See you laters, sexies. I'm going to try to catch a murmurration. #lookitup
And the word murmuration only applies to starlings, so the word is used both for the behavior and also for a group of starlings.
(334 days ago)
Chocolate covered Murmrations are good. Oh wait, that's Marshmellos.
(334 days ago)
Sun, 8-Dec-24 8:53 PM (337 days ago)
Hive mind: Does anyone know how often weight scale batteries need to be changed?
10 years? I'm sure you could have let it go for a couple more.
(336 days ago)
I hope this reminds people to check the batteries in their home's smoke alarms and co detectors.
(336 days ago)
Thank you, smitten. That is an important reminder.
(336 days ago)
We get ours checked by the building owners so we're good sexy smittens...hi JG
(336 days ago)
(336 days ago)
Wed, 4-Dec-24 7:15 PM (341 days ago)
I have a date with a Quaker today. I'm shaking in my boots. Laters, sexies.
Smitts, yes, best kind of places. I have a local bar and grill that cooks them right, whole wings. Bottled sauces, but they’re fine. Damn I’m getting hungry!
(341 days ago)
A little too cold for grilling here! And even if the flame got lit, the gusts would blow it out!
(341 days ago)
Fri, 29-Nov-24 9:35 PM (346 days ago)
The sun is shining and I need to work off the atetoomuch from yesterday, so see you later, sexy alligators. 🐊🐊🐊
Thu, 28-Nov-24 4:29 AM (348 days ago)
USA friends: Don't forget to turn your bathroom scales back 15 lbs tonight before Thanksgiving. Happy T Day everyone.
Sun, 24-Nov-24 6:44 PM (352 days ago)
Angus: So, Fergus, what do ye have on under your kilt? Fergus: Well, Angus, on a good day, lipstick.
Sat, 23-Nov-24 8:20 PM (352 days ago)
Americans, be careful when you go to the UK. Nosh can mean one of 2 things, so best use a different word with a stranger.
It means food AGR, but to nosh someone off is a blowjob
(352 days ago)
(352 days ago)
Fri, 22-Nov-24 1:16 AM (354 days ago)
Not to be dramatic, but the sun setting at 5 is ruining my life. I feel sorry for you Brits. It's even earlier for you.
Sun has not been our for 2 days to bother me by going down,that said sundown is 4:50 and complete darkness is around 5:30 ish I'm ok with it so far
(353 days ago)
I wont see the sun for a few months now…..
(353 days ago)
please spare a thought for poor ole me
living in the arctic circle, the sun comes up fo 6 months, the sun goes down fo 6 months
living in the arctic circle, the sun comes up fo 6 months, the sun goes down fo 6 months
(353 days ago)
Tue, 12-Nov-24 5:49 AM (364 days ago)
Americans, if you do no have an emotional support Canadian, now is the time to sign up before supplies run out. 🇨🇦
He never will be now. They'll be told to postpone sentencing until after inauguration, then he'll just pardon himself. That's been the plan all along.
(1 year ago)
Wed, 6-Nov-24 12:45 AM (1 year ago)
I may have to stop watching the returns now. I was nauseously optimistic, but now I'm worried.

...
has anyone stuk one up they poodot, yet?