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hornyfukcer's Recent Statuses
Mon, 15-Apr-24 4:57 PM (3 days ago)
tip
Time to make steak! How do you like yours?
Fbvines likes this
Considering you started cooking two hours ago, I think it will be too well done for me now…
(3 days ago)
Gets the pan out for the local celeb.
(3 days ago)
smitten4u likes this
Medium rare, not bloody, with some sautéed mushrooms.
(2 days ago)
I don't like steak
(2 days ago)
McPhallus likes this
me either ... think i'll have a ribeye roast grin
(2 days ago)
Sun, 14-Apr-24 7:01 PM (4 days ago)
tip
There are good days and there are great days. Today was great, thank you.
*thought
(4 days ago)
Hah no i have.😃. You rudey doody.
(4 days ago)
AdeleGingerRaine likes this
Rubs my jaw a bit.
(4 days ago)
Artistic and smitten4u like this
My shoulder is feeling much better though! Doesn’t want the honeymoon period massages to come to an end 🤞🏻🤞🏻
(4 days ago)
hornyfukcer and smitten4u like this
From your pics mellie he's doing the massages internally and working up 😎
(4 days ago)
smitten4u and MellieK like this
Sat, 13-Apr-24 8:11 PM (5 days ago)
tip
Nice walk on the beach, follwed by a quick. Cant wait for what tomorow brings.
Quick beer 😁
(5 days ago)
“Beer”
(5 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
More beer?
(5 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Sat, 6-Apr-24 1:25 PM (12 days ago)
tip
When your gf tells you that you look better in clothes.....thanks babe.
smitten4u likes this
What Mitch said!!
(12 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Pretends to think like the typical man,better with clothes on still says I don't look as good naked *runs and hides behind that tree(that of course won't appear tree
(12 days ago)
MellieK likes this
🏝 <<< there
(12 days ago)
Well weve been conditioned to chose noodles and get rice.
(12 days ago)
MellieK likes this
i think you look good both ways wink
(12 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Sat, 30-Mar-24 9:28 PM (19 days ago)
tip
One step at a time. Today's was the biggest.
Intriguing…
(19 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
One giant leap for man…..
(19 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Today's step is never the largest, but satisfying to say the least.
(19 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Did you marry a country girl hornyfukcer? First step : buy a tractor. Second step : fertilizer. ~ *cue the groans..
(19 days ago)
Rick12111 and hornyfukcer like this
A walk of a million miles, starts with the first step...........
(19 days ago)
Fri, 15-Mar-24 5:53 PM (34 days ago)
tip
Had a good day at the office with his unofficial secretary.
Freckles, smitten4u and MellieK like this
Logs productivity concerns 📋
(34 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
I hope she took everything down accurately
(34 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Did you fuck her?
(34 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
I did, twice, its good to dominate office politics.
(34 days ago)
MellieK likes this
once inda dot? w00t
(34 days ago)
Sun, 10-Mar-24 10:09 AM (39 days ago)
tip
Who wants a bacon sandwich and a brew?
Oodles of sauce and lashings of meat gor it
(39 days ago)
Bacon 🤤 yes please with a side of yourself
(39 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
I think I need to make bacon more often!!
(39 days ago)
Just a side hey. We'll work on that.
(39 days ago)
Bacon & beer, count me in!
(39 days ago)
Fri, 8-Mar-24 7:58 PM (41 days ago)
tip
Sips his tea very slowly and says hey.
If youre still sippin’ that must be a iced tea by now smile
(41 days ago)
Well im a patient man frecks.🙂
(41 days ago)
This i know smile
(41 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Still waiting for my coffee and days hi back
(41 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Pours coffee for trc.
(41 days ago)
theroyalcouple likes this
Wed, 6-Mar-24 7:53 PM (43 days ago)
tip
Urgh its doing that thing on my status feed where you can comment then you cant.
tugking70, smitten4u and mojo75nz like this
thanks will get this looked at this coming week
(39 days ago)
It's actually been a thing since like at least late July/early August 2023 🤷🏻‍♀️
(39 days ago)
I feel the pain bud and the worst thing is I paye for it ???
(38 days ago)
Naughty but innocent, such a shame its been that long! Why has no one raised a ticket about it!? We can't fix things we don't know are broken.
(38 days ago)
clittylicker and hornyfukcer like this
NN, many have complained about it so I am surprised they didnt send support a ticket about it. or maybe they just want to complain about things all the time🤷🏻‍♀️
(38 days ago)
NN likes this
Mon, 4-Mar-24 5:55 PM (45 days ago)
tip
Wonders if the Monday blues have passed.
Artistic and LittleSarah like this
I've not had that. We have an ABC and a Total Wine within driving distance. I'll have to look for it or ask, sometimes they can order stuff.
(45 days ago)
lennynatural likes this
It's brewed in Chicago, I'm not sure how far it gets distributed. But it's pretty good.
(45 days ago)
smitten4u likes this
Some of these larger distributors can get stuff in that's normally not carried around here. I think you have to order a certain amount, but that's not a big deal. Someone will like it if I don't.
(45 days ago)
lennynatural likes this
Lenny, are you into Porters?
(45 days ago)
lennynatural likes this
I don't get them often but I like them
(45 days ago)
Mon, 19-Feb-24 5:38 PM (59 days ago)
tip
Urgh Mondays!! Thankfully I have a long weekend to look forward to.
How will you spend your long weekend?
(59 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
dont blame mondays they make the weekend sweet wink
(59 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Taking full advatage of the scenary LS.
(59 days ago)
Weekends are better with Mondays off though right?
(59 days ago)
Mr_Vein likes this
I much prefer a Monday off to a Friday off.
(59 days ago)
Sun, 18-Feb-24 10:01 AM (60 days ago)
tip
Saturday was one of my best ever weekend days. One to remember. Feeling good. How are the rest of you lovely people getting on?
Haha sorry.
(60 days ago)
*renews my virus protection
(60 days ago)
McPhallus likes this
Unloaded two pods, and one Uhaul trailer. Can't walk in the garage, and we both have sore backs, lol!
(60 days ago)
MellieK, McPhallus and hornyfukcer like this
But you have a garage. You have a house. Let the settling begin!
(60 days ago)
smitten4u likes this
Saturday was indeed a fantastic day! Hiya sexy xx
(59 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Wed, 7-Feb-24 6:05 PM (71 days ago)
tip
My smartwatch says that when my girl kisses me my pulse goes from 67 to 107!
Were you running away?? 😬
(71 days ago)
my smartass(ness) says a bunch of crap laugh
(71 days ago)
MellieK likes this
Thu, 18-Jan-24 6:41 PM (91 days ago)
tip
My girl has just asked if I would like to see her drawers and she replied with pics of semi assembled flat pack furniture. Such is my life.
Sounds like a case of you getting the short drawer! smile
(91 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Yep, ive told he shes off the rails.
(91 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
IKEA what you did there!
(91 days ago)
hornyfukcer and LOVEXXXPORN like this
Asks her to keep a straight face when she slides it back in.
(91 days ago)
EmuLater likes this
Tue, 26-Dec-23 8:17 AM (114 days ago)
tip
Grabs clipboard. Starts a hangover roll call.
Artistic and SashaDoll like this
I was really good and had one!!
(114 days ago)
I think Im gonna be naughty and have one tonight aswell. Ive gotta work early on thursday so wednesday is a no go! And the best part about vacation is i -can- grab a scotch if i want 😂
(114 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Pours you two.
(114 days ago)
Early start ? 👀
(114 days ago)
Oh im usually on it early.
(114 days ago)
Mon, 18-Dec-23 5:10 PM (122 days ago)
tip
Lures people in with cake, beverages and semi nakedness.
Artistic and eddie_aust like this
And what kind of beverages?lol
(122 days ago)
Let’s just go full nudity while we’re at it
(122 days ago)
Tallky1 likes this
You had me at cake
(122 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Have you got fox on TV ....I'll be right round
(121 days ago)
I don’t eat cake but I’m all for nakedness.
(121 days ago)
Wed, 6-Dec-23 12:50 PM (134 days ago)
tip
Apparantly Im late to the party, what did I miss?
Well it turns out 7ft is bigger than I realised and I’m not sure there’s room for the star!
(134 days ago)
Measure twice, order once.
(134 days ago)
Where’s the fun in that!?
(134 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
i certainly didnt miss your recent tease drool
(134 days ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Sun, 3-Dec-23 2:46 PM (137 days ago)
tip
When she treats you to monster munch, sex and pies....👀
MitchandDaisy, Mr_Vein and Freckles like this
Hmm? Ive got lots of mellie in my bookmarks😇
(137 days ago)
hornyfukcer and MellieK like this
Is honoured 💋
(137 days ago)
Freckles and hornyfukcer like this
Looks at his bookmarks. Coughs. I think i have a temperature.
(137 days ago)
Oh no, have I given you my cold?
(137 days ago)
If i was close enough to potentially catch it, id be too hot to get infected.
(137 days ago)
Sat, 31-Jul-21 9:20 PM (2 years ago)
tip
Been a while, how is everyone?
Patio open and it’s been raining a bit, but hey we all suffer lol
(2 years ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
A beautiful 80° F day with a good breeze off the lake
(2 years ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Fantastic after sung you.mmmmm
(2 years ago)
Seeing I mean
(2 years ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
You can sing if you want Adele.
(2 years ago)
Tue, 10-Mar-20 7:30 PM (4 years ago)
tip
If two people are on a see-saw and they are horizontally balanced - Is that a perfect moment?
EmuLater and tugking70 like this
I wish I'd done biology but instead I took up German, biggest mistake ever!
(4 years ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Only did german for 3 years at school!
(4 years ago)
I lasted 6 weeks lol
(4 years ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Teacher didn't like when she gave us a 5 minute break in the middle of a double lesson. We put Vaseline on the ouside door handle so she could not get back in.
(4 years ago)
a Kodak moment?
(4 years ago)
Thu, 20-Jun-19 6:27 PM (4 years ago)
tip
I’ve decided to stop masturbating, since then I’ve not really felt myself.
one_cunning and cmp304 like this
Helicopter.
(4 years ago)
Hmmmm right
(4 years ago)
I pee with my thingy not my hands
(4 years ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Did you decide to start again?
(4 years ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Lol PApda smile
(4 years ago)
PApda likes this
Sun, 12-May-19 9:21 AM (4 years ago)
tip
I asked for a lovely chick. I got nesting starlings in my roof. Not what I expected.
It wasn't me, it was the window!
(4 years ago)
LOL
(4 years ago)
oh EMU
(4 years ago)
Makes another comment to hide the other one and revive status! smile
(4 years ago)
SexyEnglishBabe likes this
hehe
(4 years ago)
Sun, 3-Mar-19 10:43 AM (5 years ago)
tip
I ask my girlfriend to sexualy stimulate me with her key ring, but she just keeps fobbing me off.
LOVEXXXPORN likes this
huh
(5 years ago)
MissAshlee likes this
:blnk:
(5 years ago)
MissAshlee likes this
howdy fukcer smile
(5 years ago)
blink
(5 years ago)
Hello there flitt, arti, raven, LP
(5 years ago)
flitterbee, Artistic and Raven2005 like this
Sun, 3-Feb-19 11:44 AM (5 years ago)
tip
Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star, If I could get out of this place
kissing2018 and BettyAnneBaker like this
hell yeh
(5 years ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
you wouldnt abandon us?
(5 years ago)
Mon, 28-Jan-19 2:25 PM (5 years ago)
tip
I'd sit alone and watch your light, my only friend through teenage nights....
On that note this is the only music joke I know....
(5 years ago)
Here’s a picture of me with REM. That’s me in the corner...
(5 years ago)
It's not a joke! I love that song! I may just put it on in the car in about 10 minutes tongue
(5 years ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Lol I meant the REM comment smile
(5 years ago)
I gotcha wink but I might've listened to radio gaga twice.
(5 years ago)
hornyfukcer likes this
Show 25 More »
   
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