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 Latest:
Tardis's Recent Statuses
Sun, 19-May-19 2:29 AM (1 day ago)
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot
it took me ENTIRELY too long to get this joke LOL
(1 day ago)
Whilestar and MidnightWriter like this
Sun, 19-May-19 2:03 AM (2 days ago)
Hi Room!!
Anyway it's my bedtime,good night everyone xxx
(1 day ago)
cmp304 likes this
*must
(1 day ago)
night SEB
(1 day ago)
SexyEnglishBabe likes this
xo SEB
(1 day ago)
SexyEnglishBabe likes this
sweet dreams smile
(1 day ago)
SexyEnglishBabe likes this
Fri, 10-May-19 1:55 PM (10 days ago)
A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!" The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later."
Heavy Chevy likes this
Always the joker, Tardis wink
(10 days ago)
Thu, 2-May-19 1:35 PM (18 days ago)
I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple
is this a green herring
(18 days ago)
steelrat60 and muckingforon like this
This has me so mad that I"m seeing red
(18 days ago)
Thu, 18-Apr-19 2:02 PM (32 days ago)
The furniture store keeps calling me to come back, but all I wanted was a one night stand
They want you to get the 2nd one, makes bedroom look better!
(32 days ago)
Tardis likes this
Thu, 18-Apr-19 2:00 PM (32 days ago)
It's hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac, because they always take things literally
Tue, 16-Apr-19 1:42 PM (34 days ago)
Just gonna have a quick nap because I heard you can sleep your way to the top.
I tried sleeping my way to the top once...just ended up with ring sting!
(34 days ago)
Tue, 16-Apr-19 1:28 PM (34 days ago)
What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law
Tue, 16-Apr-19 1:15 PM (34 days ago)
The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Resturant In Peace
*giggle snort*
(34 days ago)
thought you might like this one Kelly
(34 days ago)
I did I love Dad jokes
(34 days ago)
True story. Kid: do we have to kill a mockingbird? Me: I don't think we need to kill it maybe just scare it away?
(34 days ago)
plumguy likes this
Tue, 16-Apr-19 12:59 PM (34 days ago)
Well finally a day to relax and perv...done cleaning the house YEAH
plumguy likes this
Or do you like to use a sock. Me personally I like a warm wash cloth
(34 days ago)
captain_82 and MidnightWriter like this
Fuck me Kelly LOL You made me choke laughing
(34 days ago)
It comes from the truth
(34 days ago)
plumguy likes this
you have some amazing pictures Kelly smile
(34 days ago)
plumguy likes this
Thank yousmile blush
(34 days ago)
Tardis likes this
Tue, 2-Apr-19 2:00 PM (48 days ago)
Well I got spontaneous posted 2 pics
Tue, 2-Apr-19 4:22 AM (48 days ago)
Well it's time to put this horny Tardis to bed
MissAshlee and MidnightWriter like this
*tucks you in to the back of the gallerias*
(48 days ago)
MidnightWriter likes this
thanks ashlee
(48 days ago)
MidnightWriter likes this
heart
(48 days ago)
MidnightWriter likes this
Gnight bro...and good luck tomorrow thumbup1
(48 days ago)
Tue, 2-Apr-19 3:41 AM (48 days ago)
Hey....How did I get naked....mmmmm
MidnightWriter likes this
*hides his clothes in ashlee's gallery* Trust me, you'll wanna go find your clothes in there. You'll enjoy the search grin, I should know, I spend just a little too much time in there myself blush
(48 days ago)
cavalrmick likes this
Ah, hell...who am I kidding....i spend a whole lot of time in there sneaky
(48 days ago)
Rene_Pogel and MissAshlee like this
*run inside Ashlee gallery
(48 days ago)
MissAshlee likes this
We know MW. Just stop trying to hold the fucking door closedwink
(48 days ago)
MissAshlee and MidnightWriter like this
oh sorry that was my cats sitting in front of the door.
(48 days ago)
Tue, 2-Apr-19 3:09 AM (48 days ago)
Time to relax, stretch out on my bed, enjoying a rum and coke
Tue, 2-Apr-19 3:08 AM (48 days ago)
I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple
That must make you feel blue. Hope you're feeling back in the pink soon.
(48 days ago)
That makes your brown eyes what color now?
(48 days ago)
MidnightWriter likes this
Chartreuse LOL
(48 days ago)
heydidyagrabmyass likes this
No colours anymore. I want them to turn black. I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes. I have to turn my head until my darkness goes..
(48 days ago)
MidnightWriter likes this
I see a red door and I want to paint it black...
(48 days ago)
Rene_Pogel likes this
Fri, 29-Mar-19 1:59 PM (52 days ago)
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Booo
(52 days ago)
MidnightWriter likes this
Was it there with the peanut...it was assaulted...(a salted)...funny...yes? no? Ah, feck it....feelindown
(52 days ago)
Double booo
(52 days ago)
MissAshlee and MidnightWriter like this
fp
(52 days ago)
MidnightWriter likes this
This is why I drink tea. There's no bad jokes to be had with it.
(52 days ago)
Tue, 26-Mar-19 2:15 PM (55 days ago)
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. – It’s nice to have a bit of company.
Tue, 26-Mar-19 2:07 PM (55 days ago)
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case
also loving my new slim laptop. so much lighter.
(55 days ago)
MidnightWriter likes this
For a joke, I once sported a handle bar tash on the day of travel, Not so funny after being searched 4 times
(55 days ago)
MissAshlee and MidnightWriter like this
omg.. i have a crazy aunt that wears costumes when she travels... a good reason to keep facebook around...
(55 days ago)
hmm ,,,,dress as wonder woman on next flight??
(55 days ago)
MissAshlee likes this
i should suggest that one.
(55 days ago)
Tue, 26-Mar-19 1:34 PM (55 days ago)
Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But,smoking bacon will cure it.
two sausages laying in a frying pan.. one sausage says to the other.. my my its getting hot in here... and the other sausage says... look.. a talking sausage..
(55 days ago)
Tue, 26-Mar-19 1:27 PM (55 days ago)
Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself
MissAshlee likes this
But I love procrasturbating tongue
(55 days ago)
MissAshlee and Tardis like this
I will do it tomorrow
(55 days ago)
MissAshlee likes this
yea but we never cum to realize it tongue
(55 days ago)
MissAshlee likes this
i prefer masterpating
(55 days ago)
Procrasturbation: the term used to describe the act of masturbating in order to get out of doing the things you should be doing....also see procrasturbate, procrasturbater, procrasturbating.....
(55 days ago)
MissAshlee likes this
Tue, 26-Mar-19 1:18 PM (55 days ago)
I bought a dictionary and when I got home I realized all the pages were blank; I have no words for how angry I am
*looks up gullible in the dictionary*
(55 days ago)
Tue, 26-Mar-19 1:15 PM (55 days ago)
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate
LOL I worked at an m&m factory...got fired for throwing away all the w's blink
(55 days ago)
hornyfukcer, MissAshlee and Tardis like this
I have this great construction joke for you.. but I am still working on it..
(55 days ago)
i was a hostess. but they wanted me to be old enough to serve wine, so i could waitress......i always got great tips.
(55 days ago)
I would tip you lots MissAshlee
(55 days ago)
MissAshlee likes this
Only if the service is good smile
(55 days ago)
MissAshlee likes this
Tue, 26-Mar-19 3:38 AM (55 days ago)
Hello....How are my friends?
hey there tardis smile tired but good thanks , how are you?
(55 days ago)
We are all friends in here..so no worries
(55 days ago)
artlover4u likes this
I am good flitterbee, little bit tired myself but doing good
(55 days ago)
flitterbee likes this
Howdy wink
(55 days ago)
Hey NW how are things?
(55 days ago)
Sun, 24-Mar-19 2:54 AM (57 days ago)
Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on
TexAngel likes this
shower of power
(57 days ago)
Tardis likes this
Sat, 23-Mar-19 3:48 AM (58 days ago)
OK I am back, my internet was going on and off grrr. So what I miss
MissAshlee likes this
for they would pay me just to get me out of the place
(58 days ago)
MidnightWriter likes this
i do those all the time! and then i post them in backwards order here so i dont break the rules grin
(58 days ago)
Rene_Pogel likes this
I want to go to a Muslim stripshow to find out whether the punters all yell out, "Show us yer face!" smile
(58 days ago)
MissAshlee and MidnightWriter like this
eh... i'm scarred on some of what those women end up CHOOSING to wear... i saw pictures years ago from kuwait, where all the women were in the ocean in head to toe black... i sympathize with them sad
(58 days ago)
a woman should be free to choose
(58 days ago)
MissAshlee likes this
Show 25 More »
   
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