FFS....i have quite possibly had the day from hell!!! it started out alright, got a letter from an ex on myspace (before you even think it, we were in the 8th grade, geeze). so i went to work feeling quite happy. get to work, and find i'd scheduled myself to open alone. no problem, i like opening by myself, i'm hella busy, and get to blast ma music. hellooooooooooo lamb of god. but wait! what's this? there's nothing but row after row of empty shelves. wtf did they do yesterday?!?!?!?!?!?

so yea...i'm in my element, balls to the wall, asses and elbows, full fuckin steam ahead. my "help" comes in @ 7am. and by this time, all donuts are baked, glazed and in the case and/or packaged, all the coffee cakes are baked, iced and packaged, almost all the bread is baked, the cases are full and GODDAMN I'M THE SHIT!!!!!

at 7:30am, here comes mr.store manager (my faithful readers know him as MY ARCH NEMESIS. i'm smug and gloating to myself as he walks my dept. adjusting something here and streightning something there..i just KNOW he's going to say "looking good, (kricket)" and move on. but no...what's this??? he's calling me over? WTF!!! he's pissed because we've been "batch baking" making alot of everything, so the next day we don't have to make any. FFS!!!!! what does he want??? the shelves were FUCKING EMPTY!

so as he's walking out, i feel the buzz of ma phone on ma hip. it's an awesome text from a friend, yay! so maybe this day isn't going to be so bad after all. =)

how fucking wrong i was.

i'm still busting my ass, mixing, packing out, doing paperwork, baking, and keeping the shelves full. when my boss comes in. i don't know what's happened in the 3 days i was gone, but when she's there....i am fuck all apparently. every decision i make is second guessed. and to top it off, i overhear a clerk telling a customer, "hold on, i'll get my manager" she walks PAST me to PAGE ma boss!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?? over a simple question i could have answered w/o moving!! i chucked my name badge on the table in front of her afterwards and said "guess this thing's fuckin useless."

so i'm pissed. and when i'm pissed i slam shit around. pans, bread, doors. yer usual pissed off chick taking it out on inanimate objects rather than her associates. i shove a bread rack into the cooler, and SLAM! the door. MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! I BROKE THE GODDAMN DOOR!!!!!!! i have to call a friend from produce over cuz he's fixed it before (subsequently after i slammed it, *ahem*. as i'm putting in the work order to get it properly fixed, i say that's it. lunch time.

i spend a half hour on the phone with dummy, spewing my wrath at him, and (goddess bless his soul) he cheers me up, makes me laugh. i go back to working thinking "it's going to be O.K. now."

FUCK ME.

stop by the bathroom on ma way back, and goddamn if after i flush, pulling up ma pants, ma phone goes *PLOP* into the fucking toilet!!!!!!!! WHATTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHEEEEEEEE FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

fish it out as quick as possible, but i'm pretty sure it's fucked. all my pictures, vids, phone numbers......GONE.

it's a $100 phone!! and guess who didn't get insurance on it?? the dumbass typing this, that's who.

that said. i'm sitting here, been home for 'bout 20 mins and already 3 deep into a 12 pack. and i'm still agitated. all i can hope for is some idiot to come wondering into chat so i can vent.

other than that, i go to sleep early, and pray tomarrow will be a lil bit better....

md........when i said i didn't wear sneakers....i lied...i'll wear sneakers......but only if they're converse

and here's the pair i bought today....for $5.00!! damn i love discount stores!

ma store mgr is having his holiday party tonight, and even tho he SAYS "don't feel like you have to come" you know you have to come. *rolls eyes and sighs* and no beer? or liquor? what kind of f'in party is this?!?!?

ya'll know me. i'm a down to earth chick. i don't like dressing up, i like jeans, tank tops and ma combat boots.

but that's not good enough for this....oh no....

so since i figure few of ya'll have seen me like this, and it's gonna be a loooOOOOOooong time till you do again...

i'd show you...



and OMG, i already miss ma combat boots....



can't you tell i'm miserable?!?




i'm sure you'll hear more about this party later....

wish me luck

so it's entirely possible i might be moving a lil bit more northward.......if you can call georgia the north.

my company has stores up there, but i've heard horror stories. seems anyone from my area who has transferred up there either quits or transfers back within the year.

so i'm a little apprehensive. it's scary to go from somewhere yer a superstar, and loved by the district manager, and assured the right to do just about whatever the hell you want to.....to somewhere that no one knows you.... ma reputation may proceed me up there, but still.

it's not set in stone. actually, it's still in the discussion phase, but i just wanted to see if anyone had any advise on the subject.

i'm sure you can all figure out the reason i might be moving. *coughDUMMYcough*

oh....and by the way.......10 days 30 mins

ever had the most vile, mean, nasty thoughts in your head, and have to restrain yourself from letting them out? 8 times out of 10 i can make myself swallow those words...unfortunately...there are quite a few times i just can't block them, and out they spew. like a noxious gas meant to poison anyone and anything around them. and even as i'm thinking or saying these things, the better part of me is thinking, "what are you saying? that's nonsense! we don't really feel that way!" but there's some tiny space in my heart and mind that does. and that little piece of me can take control before i even realize it. i wish there were some way to stomp it down, tie it up and lock it away...

so i got a call from my ex-Mr. today. he just wanted to check in, tell me he still loves me, and let me know he's waiting for a phone call from me. he also said he'd sign the divorce papers, uncontested. which is good. i never know what to say when he tells me he's going to wait for me to change my mind, other than my mind is made up. i am not the least bit confused in that aspect. but it always leaves me with a strange feeling when we talk. a mixture of sadness, happiness, and guilt. he wanted to talk more, and i couldn't tell him no, so i'm expecting a phone call from him anytime soon. i know he still looks for me on here, and i dread the day he finds me. but i'm not hiding either. i never answer when he asks if i'm seeing someone one, just because of all the trouble he caused when we split.

Today's dummy's birthday, and in honor of him, i decided to post this pic. it's not my cake, but you can ALL bet i'm gonna make one modeled after one of his mistresses next year

happy birthday baby! 18 days........

So i've amassed almost 200 hours of sick time, and decided to call in today. for the first time..in a LONG time..it's a tuesday, and i know there's plenty of bodies in the bakery. i call in, and my boss says "did you forget you have a wedding cake due out today?" shitfuckdammit. fine......i'll drive an hour to work, do the damn cake, and LEAVE. ok, so i did 3 cakes, but the wedding cake was the importaint one. my boss is ticked, but i consider it punishment for bailing out on the team bowling last thursday. so anyway, figured i'd show ya'll the cake. it's only one tier, i'm still only doing the most simple of wedding cakes. but i'm getting there!

just like a dream.......

Now ya'll know i can't go to very long without a long rambling and confusing blog about nothing in peticular. I'm wrapping up my 3 day birthday weekend, actually have to go back to work tomarrow. tho i did schedule maself to close tomarrow, so i still get to sleep in. (i'm so smart sometimes)

I spent wednsday night at ma parents house, which was nice, as i don't get to spend much time with them anymore. everyone's doing something and them living an hour n a half away doesn't help. they usually take me out to eat, but i requested ma dad's homemade chili. he started it on monday. *sighs* and lemmie tell ya, if dummy's chili is half as good as ma dad's, he's got me forever. (alright so he has me forever anyway, but OMG that's good stuff)
after dinner, my lil sister took me out for coffee. i was 10 when she was born, and was instant babysitter as ma mom went right back to work. she actually called me momma first. now she's turning 18 next month, and she's smart, talented, funny. she never fails to amaze me. did i tell ya'll she's getting her associates degree from college two weeks before she get's her high school degree? and she's already written a novel? a good one! we spent two hours b.s.ing about everything, from books to boys, sex to singers...it went way too quick. =(
she got to meet dummy that night. and other than a huge case of shyness on her part, it went well. i didn't tell dummy this (guess he'll find out if he reads ma blog, huh?) but she always clams up around guys she thinks are cute. hahahahahahah

All n all, ma birthday celebration with ma family was lovely. and now ma beer's gone...*muwah*