I started playing baseball at age 6. I had broken my left arm (I'm naturally left handed), so I learned to throw and halfway bat right handed.

By age 8, I was playing in the local Cub Scout League, where I led everyone in being hit by the pitch and broke my nose being hit while pitching by a line drive.

Up to the age of 13 I played little league, where I drew the most walks and developed a potent arm playing the outfield.

Freshman year of high school, I played one game because 2 guys were hurt and if I didn't play we had to forfeit the game. I hit 2 home runs (one a grand slam), drove in 6 runs and threw out 2 runners in the field. After the game I walked up to the coach and quit.

After high school, I played sand lot ball until I went to a Chicago White Sox tryout. I was told that if I learned to hit a slider, I could come back and they'd sign me.

I couldn't, so I spent the next years playing softball, retiring at age 43.

I have a really good outside shot with a basketball, but couldn't make the basketball team because I was only 5'2" until after my sophomore year, when I finally started to grow (I'm 6'1" now). So I played in the Industrial Leagues and in open tournaments until I retired at age 39.

Football? Even though I could catch almost anything I could get at least one hand on, I was relegated to sand lot because for a long time I was only 5'2" and weighed 130lbs. (probably soaking wet).

Never learned to ice skate, so I didn't even try ice hockey. We had no ice skating facility in my area.

So that's it. My semi-life as a part time jock.

Any questions?

~

I had a dream this morning before waking that, after 69 years, I had finally found my soul mate.

Trouble was, she was only 10 years old.

I said no thank you, then woke up.

Just my luck, I mumbled, and went off to pee.

~

I deny I'm denying denial.

After nearly a whole good night's slumber,

what better way to awaken than to hear those magic words:

"Get off your lazy asses and get up that fucking ladder"

from the roofers across the street.

Who needs an alarm clock?

~

Instead of throwing stones at one another, wouldn't it be better to take those stones and build something together?

?

Halloween is swiftly approaching:


Cameo from Boris Karlof.

I'm so full from dinner, I'm afraid if I eat another bite I might split in two, like Sheldon Cooper.

I very much want to see this:


As a life long Beatles fan, it's a

MUST SEE event.

Ah, Fall.

The leaves are turning, the air is crisp and cool.

Soon it will be time to shut the windows,

which is fortunate, because my drunken neighbors across the street are still screaming at each other at all hours.

How will I sleep without my white noise (pun intended) background in the mornings and late at night?

Quite peacefully, I assure you.

Some of the younger employees were getting complaints about hard water stains in the toilets they clean.

I told them to pour about a half a cup of bleach in the bowl, scrub it with a brush, then let it sit for about a half an hour.

When they then flush, pour a little bowl cleaner in and give the toilet a once over.

It should be sparkling clean.

An old timer told me that when I started 25 years ago.

Old school still rules.