Winter storm coming late Thursday, through Saturday here.

Temps falling to single digits and wind chills 20 to 30 below zero.

Time to get out another space heater, throw a wool blanket on the bed and get to the grocery before Thursday.

A scouts' motto is 'be prepared'.

I am... I don't like to freeze.

~

You could say that the rude comment a person said was a premature ejaculation of stupidity and it would have nothing to do with sex.

And George Carlin said that on t.v. you can say you prick your finger but you can't say you can finger your prick.

It's all in the timing.

The English language is a double edged sword.

~

I was watching the Colts-Vikings game today with some Colts fans.

It was 33-0 Colts at halftime.

The Colts fans were making fun of the Vikings and I said, off the cuff, "Don't worry, they have a whole second half to blow the lead."

I stayed until the score became 36-28 and left.

The Colts fans had turned surly and I didn't want them blaming me if the blew the game... which they later did.

Just for fun I bought a scratchoff lottery ticket on the way home - and won 50 bucks.

Do I see a bunch of jaw drops?

So my sister, God love her, asked me at Thanksgiving what I wanted for Christmas this year.

I thought it over and decided on a new robe.

I then sent her an email describing what I wanted and attached a photo that shows what I want and even where to purchase the robe.

Yesterday a package arrived in the mail from her.

I opened the package and inspected the contents.

Yes, it was a robe.

Yes, it is the color I asked for.

No, it is not the one I wanted.

It is a fine robe and I'm sure I will get years of good use from it.

I am thankful to receive it.

I am also reminded of how much she takes after our late father when it comes to gift buying.

You could take him and show him exactly what you wanted and when you got the gift it would be different from what you asked for.

I don't blame her, she comes by it honestly (as the saying once went).

I'm just happy I still have family around to ask me what I want.

Sometimes you have to count your blessings.

~

Alien has a cousin from Mars:


Really good sci-fi.

I bought frozen hamburger patties so that I don't have to take the time to make them myself.

~

The good people die too soon,

while the alcoholic, drug addicted and addle-minded continue to plague us all.

~

In this case, it's a nosy neighbor.

It's like they live to watch what you're doing.

I may be an old man, but I'm not above mooning someone,

especially if they stare too long.

~

Counting down to retirement.

Unless i win the Lottery, of course.

As they say in the military -

I'm getting shorter every day.

If a person tells you too quickly that they love you, don't be alarmed.

Odds are they're a romantic and I love you in romantic speak simply means they like you.

Don't worry - once they get what they want from you they'll lose interest and forget about you.

Their next great love is always just beyond the horizon.

~