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Monday, January 20, 2014, 1:31:29 AM- *shifty eyes*

Most of you know I've never really lived alone. Always had roommates or a S.O. living with me, with a few brief times alone. I swear, I get more freaked out in an apartment than I did in a trailer out in the middle of the woods.

Meanie's working late, so I've been home alone all day. I'm usually cool with that. I have all my hobbies and such, or going OCD and re-arranging the place again. Today, I've just been...I dunno....spooked. All day. I have this odd twinge that something bad is going to happen.

So, I've been carrying my knife on me. And, because I don't have mine yet, Meanie leaves his gun with me when he's working. So I've had a very large, very comforting 1911 .45 within arm's reach all day.

I still feel....just.... I can't explain it. I hate it though.

Viewers Comments (4):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"post a "beware of joey-T" sign on the door.... go out for a ride..." - joeytomatoes

Wednesday, January 15, 2014, 1:28:19 AM- I promise...

Not every blog is gonna be a "I LOVE MEANIEBUTT" blog, OR a foodie blog.

Well.....I'm trying to be a foodie now. It's working out well.... Like last night. I made bacon and blue cheese stuffed pork chops, macaPHONEY n cheese. Used tofu instead of pasta. And Meanie LOVED it!! Gawd, it was all good.

Tonight? Welllllllllll.....Meaniebutt is working late, so I get to carb load. Pizza, with all the fixings.....

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Most Recent Comment:	"sounds deelish!" - tight_wet_lips

Monday, January 13, 2014, 7:55:55 AM- 12 days...

In 12 days, I'll be celebrating an anniversary of sorts. In just 12 short days my life changed dramatically....again.

353 days ago, I was on the phone, comforting a friend whose girlfriend had broken up with him. Harmless, for sure.

I was woken up a few hours later, still drunk, and very disoriented, and told that I had to leave. Let this sink in. This had been my home for 5 years. I'd been told that it was mine. Now I've been told to leave. NOW.

I called the few people I could, texted. The majority of people I knew were his friends, so there wasn't a huge pool to draw from at 3am. I had exhausted all my local friends. So I went to my "go-to".

The guy I'd called when I was stuck in a snow storm, having to navigate a 6 lane interstate in basically a white out. My best friend who'd been my rock, and who I had seen through his own heartbreaks. And he got me home. This time,when I'd called, I was kinda just figuring he would talk me down off the ledge. But I told him I wanted to go home.

So he called in to work. And drove, with hardly any sleep, through the morning, 4+ hours, to get to me. I'd been dropped off at the bakery, for lack of anywhere else to go. I slept under my work station, on a metal bench, with my coat as my blanket.

Donut-Ho woke me up, telling me that there was a guy there to see me. I was still out of it, but as I unfolded myself from under the table, I turned and saw Meanie standing in the doorway. It was angels singing, it was the most beautiful sunrise you've ever seen. HE was peace.

Meanie was in full on security mode. He was worse than a cat in a rocking chair factory.... It wasn't until he got me to the hotel room before he relaxed enough. I was so emotionally wrung out and tired that it didn't make a difference. The next day I packed my stuff with Rubens and I left.

So, 12 days one year ago, I was one person. And now I'm me. I'd like to think I'm a better me. I know I'm happier.

Viewers Comments (6):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Been a yukky year all round - but they say happier things are afoot and for you a new beginning :) Congrats x" - Ellefoxie

Sunday, January 12, 2014, 12:04:06 AM- Lego Saturday?

I dunno if this has ever been posted before, but if it hasn't, I FUCKING WANT ONE. NOW.

Seriously.....hop to it, MrC.... I know you have the technology....

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Most Recent Comment:	"I am glad I looked at this before going back to bed. Awesome!!" - tight_wet_lips

Saturday, January 11, 2014, 1:28:34 AM- You are fucking KIDDING me!

I mean...I left elementary school/high school several years ago, right?

Nah. That bullying and bullshit is still alive and well in adult-land.

I had to go to another store today because we were out of something. Out of courtesy, I asked the Asst. Deli manager if they needed anything. They did.... Cool.... two birds, one stone kinda thing..

I get to the other store, and pick up what I need, then go to the deli to get what they need. The manager told me right out that I should punch my Asst. Deli manager when I got back. I asked why? Apparently, when he called ahead, he told her she'd know who I was because "She looks like Spongebob".....

Meaning the gap between my front teeth. Really? Seriously? Guess what, douche-nozzle....I've been made fun of by better than you. And I survived it. My mouth can be fixed, your dickheadedness is pretty much for always...

Yes, I'm used to people making fun of my teeth. But it never get's easier. That's the main reason I never smile in my photos. One day, here very soon.....I'll have a smile that is beautiful. You won't see a pic of me that I'm not flashing ma pearly whites. Until then, I'm sorry. I hate my smile, hate my mouth.

As for douche Asst. Deli manager.....I took a pic of Spongebob and with a post-it, stuck a note on his desk..."Get your own shit from now on..."

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Most Recent Comment:	"you are beautiful inside and out and we all know it :) " - T4Texas

Wednesday, January 8, 2014, 12:25:13 AM- Oh hell...

I swear, not ever blog is gonna be a food blog. Honest. No.....seriously, I SWEAR!

It's just....I seriously enjoy doing it! Like...not baking. I do that all damn day. But cooking? Slicing, chopping, sauteing, roasting...it just. Well, it fascinates me. And when I present a carefully plated, tasty dish in front of someone (right now just Meanie), gawd! I feel so proud of myself my heart might burst! I had almost invited my parents and sister over to our appt. last week on my day off for dinner....but I chickened out. My dadd-doo was the FIRST man in my life I loved wholeheartedly. AND he's an amazing cook. So I don't think I'm quite *there* enough to try cooking for him and my mom, not to mention my incredibly talented sister...

Soon... because, with our recent winter chill (Florida, people, and it's fucking 12 degrees!!!) I wanted chili for dinner. Meanie get's a lil grr at times...because *I* wanna cook. Yes, I know I've been up for 14 hours... I STILL wanna cook! lol...

He was sweet, and went shopping for the long list of ingredients I'd texted him. I got home and got started. Halfway through, I got so disappointed with myself, so disgusted with what I'd cooked thus far, I was in tears. He knows how to handle me. I stepped outside and formed a gameplan while I smoked.

Came back in, and attacked. It's currently stewing, and smells delicious. It looks pretty damn good too!

So yeah..... I'm kicking ass at work. I'm kicking ass in the kitchen. It ain't easy, but I'm used to the hard road.....This time around it's amazingly easy. I have a support system. I have my family near me. I know I can kick anything's ass. Especially a pot of chili

xoxoxoxo

P.S. FUCK YEAH!! My Pack lost, but thankfully ma Nole's BROUGHT it!!! *tomahawk chop*

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Most Recent Comment:	"looks very nice.." - whokens

Sunday, January 5, 2014, 4:06:31 AM- I tried....

I really did! Honest!

Most of ya'll know I haven't been able to cook for more than a few years, both my ex's preferred to handle that aspect of day-to-day living. So lately, I've been going crazy making all kinds of delicious things....bacon wrapped asparagus, grilling steaks, pasta salads. Just all sorts of things.

Meanie has decided he wants to try and cut out the majority of carbs from his diet, so this presents a challenge. I. LOVE. CARBS. Seriously, I'm a fucking baker! Bread, pasta, and potatoes are MY LIFE. *facepalms, then takes a deep breath* It's okay. I can do this...the internet is my friend.

Scouring Food Network for low-carb options. I decided on "mock" garlic mashed potatoes (pureed cauliflower), garlic sauteed spinach, and panco/parmesan crusted baked chicken breast. Sounds pretty decent, yes?

I had to toss the spinach.....I didn't read the recipe all the way. I bought a bag of baby spinach..... a 6 oz bag. The recipe called for a POUND AND A HALF. *sigh* So, there was basically a serving of spinach. The only major issue, is that I used the two tablespoons of fresh chopped garlic. For a 1/4 of the amount of spinach. I did try it....O.o Into the trash it went, and I go to the freezer for a bag of broccoli... dammit.

The chicken turned out pretty damn good. Not overcooked, nice and juicy, crispy and flavorful. I'm not sold on the "mock" mashed potatoes.... I mean....they were good! But they didn't exactly scream mashed tater's to me, ya know? Too sweet, even with the garlic and spices added. Will still be something we have again, just for the nutritional value.

Bless the man's heart, he loves pretty much everything I cook, even when I know it's not that great. I warned him that I'd have just as many strikes as I do home runs as I find my way around the kitchen again. Still.....looks yummy, don't it?

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Most Recent Comment:	"good on ya for being healthy :)" - T4Texas

Monday, December 30, 2013, 11:32:20 PM- *shakes head*

First day off since Christmas day, and wonder of wonders! Meanie has the same day off! These are rare, so we generally make the most of it anytime it happens. Not so great today. Meanie's sick. Man-flu, poor thing. I feel bad for him, because I fear he might be dying... well....it seems that way, anyway. *grins* You men are the absolute WORST when you're sick.

I got some running around done, cleaned up the apartment, put away Christmas gifts and such.

I'm getting ready to cook dinner, grilled pork chops and a garden veggie and pasta medley with an Alfredo sauce. The man may be sick, but I'm willing to bet he won't turn his nose up at my cooking

NYE tomorrow night, and we're planning a quiet night in. This year has been exciting enough, with all our changes. This is true:

Happy New Year, Nude friends!

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Most Recent Comment:	"Have a great 2014" - threedognight

Thursday, December 26, 2013, 11:37:20 PM- Christmas

It has been 5 years since I've been with my family at Christmas. That was a long, hard 5 years. This Christmas has been one of the best in my lifetime, if not THE best. It was easy, and fun. There was lots of laughing, lots of smart ass/dry wit, lots and lots of love. Memories have been made, and they will last lifetimes.

There isn't any way to put into words the emotions of the day. There just isn't. Suffice it to say, it was as perfect as anything can be.

I was brought to tears three times, once to full on sobbing. But they were all good tears. The first came during the opening of the gifts. My family opens gifts slightly differently than I've seen other families. We open them one at a time, alternating between people. So, Dad-doo would open one, then my sister, then Meanie, etc etc etc. I like our way. It takes a lot longer, but there's always a lot of laughter, and conversation, and eager anticipation of whoever gave the gift to see the reaction of the recipient.

Anyway, at one point during the openings, I got to open one from Meanie. Jokingly I shook the box and the look of panic on his face was priceless. I knew he was on pins and needles for me to open it, so I took my sweet time. *Grins* Each and every piece of tape, slowly coming off. Inside the box.....was a pair of socks. ......and another box. Opening the SECOND box, I was stunned speechless. Meanie has been calling me his "warrior girl" since we met. Years and years. And you know my middle name is Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom and war. He found a way to combine both aspects of me...I wish the picture did it justice.

She is beautiful. And I teared up.

The next cry came due to my lil sister. She'll be graduating in May, with her Masters degree. So when she told me that as a starving college student and had to hand make all her gifts this year, I understood and looked forward to it. I knew she was smart, genius, really. What I didn't know was how fucking talented the girl is. This is one of the paintings she gave me:

....Que the sobbing. If you've been reading my blog for a few years, you are well acquainted with my weimie Vaska and my pitty Rayce. I had posted the pic of them on FB and here about two years ago. My sister re-created it. I miss both of my babies so very much, and having this painting is a way to keep them both close in my heart.

The third time was just before dinner, when my Dad-doo stood to lead the family in prayer. Rather than their usual dinner prayer, he interrupted to thank God for my return home, and for bringing Meanie into the family. *sniffles*

As I said, happy tears. It really was a perfect day. I hope and pray that all my friends had such a day. I wanna siphon off some of the joy and happiness that fills my home and share it with everyone. Here's to 2014! Best year yet

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Most Recent Comment:	"That was just beautiful" - Whispermyname

Tuesday, December 24, 2013, 3:02:18 AM- :D :D :D

Yep, I just got home. It's 8:46pm. I left the house at 7am. And I'm still smiling.

It was kinda a rough day. I was off yesterday, and when I came in today, found out one of my sweet amazingly awesome decorators had a seizure at work. They had to call 911 (999 to my friends across the pond), and took her. She's doing well now. Undergoing tests to find out why she seized. She's hoping to be back at work tomorrow. Poor fing is highly embarrassed about being carted out the store on a stretcher.

It was crazy busy, of course. I took a whole 30 minute lunch, and didn't stop running all day long. Don't care. Still smiling. I had fun. We, as a crew, had fun. Singing tunes, trying to "out-do" each other when it comes to customer service. Getting kudos from the store manager and asst. store manager for my dept being fantastic, kicking ass, and helping people so much.

Finally, I can bake no more, pack no more, decorate no more. I leave. And I get home, to my lover. Kisses, hugs, talking about our days. Then we sit on the couch and just stare at our pretty tree.....

There's so many presents under it! I know I'm 100% grown up now, because I'm way more excited to watch everyone open up what I got them, than I am to open any of mine....

I'm so very blessed to be able to spend Yule with the man I love with all my heart, surrounded by my family and our friends. In case I'm not around (which I prolly won't be)....Merry Christmas, Happy Yule, Etc. etc.

May 2014 bring you much joy. May you love your life with powerful conviction. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world.

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Most Recent Comment:	"Merry Christmas Krick" - whokens