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Thursday, July 12, 2007, 10:33:49 PM- When you go, would you even turn to say "i don't love, like loved you, yesterday"?...

Hi all

Well today was shit! I did a straight 8 and a half-hour day at work. Didn't even manage to get a break to have anything to eat but nobody cares so there's no point moaning about it at work.

It was overcast so when i was out the building trying to find out where a network cable had been cut with an engineer i bought my coat. The moment i did this the sun came out and baked me for a good few hours. Then when i finished work and started my walk home it pissed it down. I was soaked by the time i got home. My coat trousers and shirt are still drying.

I must have really pissed somebody off somehow...

I haven't been feeling very happy for a while either. Just so fed-up and pissed off. When i got home from work and got changed to do my weights/cycling i stopped and thought "what's the fucking point?". I mean if i didn't post pics on her nobody would see my body. Nobody would see me naked. I don't have a girlfriend, i haven't had any sort of sex in ages. And it's not like i've got anybody tripping over themselves to get to me anyway. Nobody even fancies a one off shag. And while people say nice about me on here I don’t get them face-to-face. Not one. It’s a bit depressing and very, very sad.

I must be a right shit or a proper ugly bastard. Or maybe even both. I don't know and i wish i could say i don't care but i do. Maybe too much. I try and keep in shape so i can least have something positive to say about myself but i'm not even happy with my body. I don't like it.

Anyway tomorrow is Friday which is always good even if it is the 13th. I'm unlucky at the best of times so it makes no difference to me.

Also got my brother coming up for the weekend. That'll be either very good or very shit. It'll totally depend on what mood my brother is in and how far backwards my parents bend over for him. I'm going down to London the weekend after and staying at his place so hopefully it'll all go well.

Anyway it’s late; I’m both tired and fed-up so I’m off to bed. I just hope something very good happens tomorrow.

Viewers Comments (3):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Turn gay u will be instantly popular with any amount of genuine invitations, you won't even have time to work, and there will be finger prints all over that body, bit of advice tho grown the body hair back." - chelson

Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 10:20:38 PM- Don't cut what can be untied...

Hi all

Well as the date for my op gets closer everything is now starting to feel rushed. It's now only 2 and half weeks away. I'm not worried about the op but I am worried about me while I’m recovering. I'm going to be on crutches so not only will I be unable to do any weights/rowing/cycling but also I won't be doing any exercise at all!

Oh well, at least the replacement part for the broken bike turned up today. I haven't had time to unpack it and put the whole thing together today. Finished work very late and after my weights and dinner I just wasn't in the mood. I've been really fed-up over the last few days. I know why, just don't want to bore you with all the details. I moan enough in my blogs as it is!!! I'll put the bike together tomorrow.

Made a little progress with Catherine. She was off from work last week but I gave her my mobile on the last day she was in. She didn't text me for the whole week and I honestly didn't think she would but on Saturday I got a text from her out of the blue! I did text her back but she only got the message today and she only got half of the message...I really need a new phone! Catherine is off again for the rest of this week but she said she might text me again over the next few days.

Anyway I am going down to London the weekend before my op (21st & 22nd). Staying down there with my brother and his flatmates. I think the plan is to go out one night round a few bars, see the sights and maybe catch a film or two then the next night go out on the piss! So I’m very much looking forward to that.

Anyway it's way to late so I’m off to bed. Been looking at all the pictures of lovely boobies and asses! I am a boob and ass man

Viewers Comments (1):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Hope she messages ya:)! Exercise bike? I need one of those...been doing Spinning courses here and it"s a blast!" - BM21

Tuesday, July 3, 2007, 9:25:32 PM- Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. ~ Fran Lebowitz

Hi

Well had an emergency today which resulted in me getting an appointment with the GPs an hour after making the call to see a doc and giving me enough reason to leave work in order to go.

After an 30 minute wait and a chat to the doc i was given the it's bad but not serious talk and sent on my way. I don’t want to go into too much detail both because i don't really want to and second because it's slightly....ewwww!

But to clear things up it's got nothing to do with my cock and balls so if any ladies have been looking at my pics and fancy a bit of fun then they have no worries

Only joking....i doubt any women think that after looking at my pics!

(and if they do they don't bloody let me know!!!) Some encouragement or kind/kinky words would be very appreciated ladies!

Not much else to say apart from i was very tired today. I was very tired yesterday as well. I was nodding off at work and nearly sent home but i declined and made a cup of coffee. I had an early night last night but i woke up a 3 this morning and due to the birds singing (gits!) i didn't get back to sleep until 4. Insomnia is no fun at all.

At least i'm making some headway in getting my exercise bike sorted. Hopefully it'll be done by the end of this week so i can jump on it and try and slim down a bit.

Anyway i'll clear a few things up before i sign off:

1) No, that isn't me singing on my greeting, i wish it was but i can't either sing or play a guitar

It's a short song called Carry Her by Fightstar. Excellent first album (even though it didn't have "palahniuks laughter" on it) and i'm very much looking forward to their next one.

2) I do have a head (and unfortunately a face!) and i do also have feet. I'm sure you can see them in a few pics! The feet that is...

3) My Gilberts Syndrome is not that serious.

[url]http://gilbertssyndrome.org.uk/What%20is%20Gilbert's%20Syndrome.html[/url]

I do suffer from Jaundice quite a lot due to me not sleeping very well. It effects the whites of my eyes the most before eventually effecting my skin. Also i'm not that good with processing alcohol. I can't drink as much as everybody else (but that doesn't stop me from trying!!!) and i'm dreadful with hangovers. I don't get headaches i just feel like shit for about 2 days.

Anyway i'm off to bed now to try and get a decent nights kip.

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Get some rest! And please feel better... I'm sending some chicken soup." - mdguy

Tuesday, July 3, 2007, 9:21:06 PM- Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are

Viewers Comments (0):

Friday, June 29, 2007, 7:05:37 PM- Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. ~ Confucius

Hi

20 random (but not necessarily interesting) things about me:

1. I have Gilbert's Syndrome and i also have trouble sleeping.
For more information there is a very useful helpful page explaining GS and the symptoms: http://gilbertssyndrome.org.uk/What%20is%20Gilbert's%20Syndrome.html

2. I'm short sighted and have been since i was about 8 year old. I wore glasses up until college but now wear contacts.

3. Never broken a bone in my body but i have damaged the ligament in my foot and torn cartilage in my knee.

4. I absolutely love animals. Hate to see an animal suffering and those TV ads appealing for help always bring a tear to my eye. Also don't like films where and animal gets hurt/killed.

5. Not very talking but i'm a good listener. I like helping friends out with their problems and normally help them through rough times.

6. Haven't had many girlfriends but the relationships always seem to last. Shortest relationship was 6/7 months and the longest was two years.

7. Love salmon, sushi and spicy food (and donar kebabs!). Favorite is King Prawn Vindaloo. Also like fresh foods and i like to think my diet has gotten better since i started uni.

8. On my holidays i've been to: Scotland, England, Wales, France, Italy, USA, Spain. This year i'm going to South Korea and maybe Japan. Would love to go to Japan, China & Australia.

9. Love my music and my films. I like to think i have a wide and varied selection of both. Still listen to music a lot but since i started working i hardly watch films anymore.

10. I'm a livelong Notts County fan. Come on you PIES!!!

11. Use to play the keyboard when i was younger and i did once play at a concert in front of a packed theatre!

12. Have always wanted to take up either acting or music but i haven't got a clue how to pursue either.

13. I am 5/8 English, 2/8 Polish and 1/8 Irish. Everybody on my dads side of the family is English. My mum’s dad was polish and her grandmother Irish.

14. Never been in a fight outside of a Dojo.

15. I do believe in the paranormal and supernatural but i don't believe in psychics or séances.

16. Can't spell to save my life (i run everything threw word's spell checker!)

17. I like to keep fit and try to stay in shape. I have a weight bench, rowing machine and an exercise bike...although the bike isn't up and running yet

18. Hate cheats, ignorance, racism, arrogance, discrimination, liars, thieves and the French

(joking about the last one)

19. Have worked for an animal's rights group, the government and in a pub/restaurant.

20. Like the rain and winter

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Very cool tidbits. :)" - mdguy

Thursday, June 28, 2007, 9:09:04 PM- Followed closely by the footsteps of my failure...

Hi all

Well today doesn't rank high in the greatest.

I've got today off from work. This morning i went into town to sit my driving theory test, which i failed by one bloody mark. Worst thing is, is that i took today off solely to do this as the test centre doesn't do weekends or evenings. I don't know if i'll be able to get anymore time off work as i'm having my op at the end of July and they want me to hand over all of my work for somebody else to do while i'm recovering. From September they are making the test harder so i want it done before then.

Then when i got home my exercise bike had arrived. Great i thought! I then spent 40 minutes putting it together only to find a small but vital piece missing. E-mailed them and asked for them to mail me the missing piece but in the meantime i have a half built bike i can't use

Then to top it off i nearly dropped 9 stone of weights on my face when i was bench pressing.

So all in all a pretty shitty day.

Suppose to be going up to Sheffield to meet a mate but i don't know if i can be bothered. He's been pretty annoying recently and i don't think i can put up with him at the moment! Plus it's just started to rain here and i don't know if the trains are back running yet.

So i'm not really a happy bunny at the moment and more down than usual.

I'm just hopeing that tomorrow is a better day.

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Goodness... :( Let's not speak of today as failure but as 'success delayed for another day.' Good night, m8 xx" - mdguy

Monday, June 25, 2007, 8:45:53 PM- All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain....

Hi again

First off i'd just like to thank everybody who has voted and commented on the recent bunch of pics i have put up. It's so nice to read the comments and also to have such a high score on some of my pics. I'm not really a confident guy and i am very negative and harsh towards myself so that makes the comments and high voting even more appreciated. Thank you very much! I just hope i can continue to put up decent pics for you all.

Anyway back to business....

Rain. If you don't live in the uk it's been absolutely pouring it down here. I keep on hearing stuff like "we've had a whole months rain in 24 hours". It might sound like an exaggeration but believe me it's not. I walk to and from work everyday and the amount of very large pools of water on the road is like nothing i've seen before. Even the "small" river i walk over (via bridge before you ask, i'm not Jesus!) had burst its banks on my walk home.

I'm the type of person who likes the rain. I love walking home in the rain without putting up my umbrella. I don't know why i just like it. I also seem to sleep better when it's raining as well. But this is a bit too much for me. I'm just hoping we have a nice hot spell during the weekend so i can crank up a BBQ!

I have my driving theory test on Thursday. I need to pass my driving test completely before the end of July cause of my knee operation. I'll on crutches for 6 weeks after and i don't want to have to start again from scratch.

Well, i'm enjoying a nice drink and watching a very interesting documentary on BBC2 in regards to the Korean War in 1951.

Keep warm tonight!

Viewers Comments (0):

Monday, June 25, 2007, 7:41:43 PM- My sex wish list....

Hey

Feeling a little horny (just like every other day!) so i thought i'd write a little list of things that i'd like to do sex-wise. I think my sex life has been pretty dull so far so don't be surprised if there's a lot i haven't done!

1. Would love to try anal sex. I love doggy and i love a very nice ass but i haven't managed to convince any of the women i've slept with to let me in there

2. Have a threesome. Either with a MF or a FF (i wish!) i'm not that picky. Not really sure why i want to try this but i do, so there!

3. Give a facial. I've never once shot my load over a woman’s face but i would love to.

4. Get deep-throated. Never been deep throated...nuff said

5. Swallow. I've never had my entire load swallowed either. My blowjob history is pretty dire to be honest. I've only ever had a handful of decent sucks. And when it came down to cumming i either shot on the tits or they just wanked me off into their mouth then spat it out.

6. Tit-fuck/wank. I love a nice pair of tits and while i've cum on a pair or two i've never had my cock between a nice big soft pair.

7. All day sex session. Having a rampant sex-drive but getting very little there are some days when i wish i could nothing but shag! Would love to just spend a day shagging. Doubt that'll ever happen but hey i can dream! (Just a bit of advice on this one. I get hard very easily from getting sucked after i've shot my load. My head gets very sensitive!)

8. Make a sex vid. Again i doubt this one is very likely but i've love to make a vid of me having sex.

9. Take numerous pics of me having sex then post them on here!

I don't think this one will happen soon either as i'm single and it seems that nobody wants to sleep with me

So there you go. If there are any ladies out there how want to help me with any of these then i would be greatly indebted to you.

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"It all sounds very delish. Deep throating? I would never have it any other way. I want to live where YOU live...all day shag sessions? You speak to my horny little heart... ~lulu" - lunalum

Thursday, June 21, 2007, 10:17:15 PM- So go and carry her...

Hi all

Well it seems like the promotion is back on again. The latest bit of news is that I will be promoted, I’ll leave the department I’m in and therefore get a new line manager (which is bloody good news) and I’ll get an office of my own! There is only thing that is bothering me and that's the pay. It wasn't indicated as to whether I’ll stay on the same pay or go up a grade. If I don't go up a grade it'll mean a shit load more work for the same wages

But regardless I’ve been told so many different things I’m trying not to take anything I hear too seriously. I'll believe it when I see it.

I'm also doing a half week next week. I've Wednesday afternoon off (dentist!) and I’ve got the Thursday and Friday off. Then it's only 4 weeks after that, that I have my op on my knee and I get 6 weeks off work!

Also Catherine. We did e-mail each other a lot today and it got a bit deep. I'm starting to get the impression that she likes me (even though she's admitted that she doesn't know how to flirt and she's about as good as picking up signs as me!) but I’m not pinning my hopes on her yet. I could still be way off the mark...and I probably am!

Anyway I’m off to bed. I might write a bit more at the weekend depending on what happens...

Viewers Comments (3):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"YAY! I will be a quiet optimist and just keep my fingers crossed." - mdguy

Sunday, June 17, 2007, 1:36:22 PM- One can't choose how one's life begins. But one can choose how to face the end...

Hi all

Well I’m going to have a big fat moan (and not the good type of moaning either! Haven't had one of them in a fucking long time!)

First off, job. I really, really hate it. Not only am I over-worked and underpaid but it's also a bit fat anchor that is keeping me stuck here. Out in the middle of the countryside away from all my mates in other towns.

And to top it off that promotion I was "guaranteed" now looks like it isn't as guaranteed as others had made it out to me. Now it looks like there are two more likely possibilities.

The first possibility is that it will be advertised. Problem with this is that I don't know what grade it'll be at and therefore I don't know the pay the job will attract. I don't really want more work if the pay stays the same. And there's always the possibility that I won't get it cause somebody with more experience or a higher grade might be preferred over me.

The second and possibly the worst is that the job will be given to somebody else and I’ll be cut out completely. The job has already been passed "over my head" to somebody who knew nothing about PC and I had to teach them everything. And this was with him earning more than me! If it's passed over my head again it'll mean I’ll have to teach another person how the IT side of things work while they are raking in more than me. I will also take it as a personal slap in the face with the "you're not good enough" firmly stamped on my forehead.

I can't really look for another job either. As it stands I have to give 5 weeks notice. I've got my knee op on the 29th of July which will put me on crutches for 6 weeks but I will be paid while I’m off those 6 weeks. Then 3 weeks after that I’m on holiday for 3 weeks. So it'll be at least until the end of October that I can realistically start to look for another job.

So that's the job side of things.

Another thing (and I know I moan about this nearly everyday) is being single. It sucks(....or not!) I haven't had anybody even look at me twice for god knows how long. And forget about sex in any form I haven’t even kissed a woman in ages either. It's very sad and also very depressing. I know it's partly to do with the face I haven't got any confidence in myself. And I know it's because I hardly get out but when you're stuck out here it's hard to get into town or anywhere on a regular basis. Finally falling for people I have absolutely no chance with isn't helping either

Somedays i really, really, really want to cry

Oh well. Guess i'll leave it at that.

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Well negativity never helps you get what you want, however I have sent you a pm regarding some thoughts of mine. Good luck champ." - BoostSX