view: desktop |

Latest:

View All | Update Your Status

Help / Support | Settings | View or Edit your profile

Browse Blogs

View Latest Blogs

View a Specific Blog

Update Your Blog


	NN Matchmaker: I am a: find looking for me. must have a pic. Help NN grow - put this search on your site - FREE!

Read the latest from NN

Viewing Member - Be4andAfter

Profile

Statuses

Blog

Photos

Videos

Bookmarks

Gifts

Send a Private Message to Be4andAfter

Send a tip to Be4andAfter

Blog Viewed: 31,016 times.

First |

Previous | 159 | 160 | 161 | 162 | 163 | 164 | 165 | Next

| Last

Page 162 of 168

Sunday, January 20, 2008, 5:35:02 AM- Birthday Party

The baby turned one today.
She enjoyed her chocolate cake with both hands.
It was everywhere from the top of her head to her toes.
We had so much fun.
It is hard to believe I have had her for a year.
Time went by quickly.

Viewers Comments (1):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"I love the hands all over th cake parties. I think i'll do that at my next party...since I don't remember doing it at my first one" - tight_wet_lips

Saturday, January 19, 2008, 1:56:51 AM- A bottle of Merlot

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually
attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman who is seated over there." ..and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read:
"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants"

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:
"Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen , Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back."

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Ahahaha good one!" - mont26

Friday, January 18, 2008, 3:21:08 AM- I know this is going to be me!

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.

Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.

The pastor shouted out "CROSS."

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."

The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."

The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD."

The Pastor said "SEX" The congregation fell into total silence.

Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.

Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church,
a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES"

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"LOL...I hope not!" - Anya32

Wednesday, January 16, 2008, 2:09:25 AM- Moles

Mole Family
A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole all live together
in a little mole hole.
One day, papa mole sticks
his head
out of the hole, sniffs the air
and said,
"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head
out of the hole,
sniffs the air and said,
"Oh, Yum! I smell honey!"
Now baby mole is trying
to stick his head
out of the hole to sniff the air,
but can't
because the bigger moles
are in the way.
This makes him whine,
"Geez, all I can smell is....

MOLASSES!

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"LOL" - Anya32

Tuesday, January 15, 2008, 12:51:14 PM- Early morning.

Windchills in the single digits!!
I think everyone should get the day off with pay to stay at home and keep warm!

Viewers Comments (1):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Tooooo right!!! xxxxx" - Anya32

Tuesday, January 15, 2008, 2:09:53 AM- Thought for today..

WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A
TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE.
WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY
HUMAN EXPERIENCE.

Viewers Comments (1):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"very good and true to my beleifs." - Wodja

Sunday, January 13, 2008, 7:25:57 AM- Now for something completely different

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in
the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the
door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunken guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out
there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about
three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I
think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding
rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.

Viewers Comments (5):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"LOL!" - juicy

Saturday, January 12, 2008, 11:46:55 PM- Saturday Fun.

Wow what a busy day!
Sick children and grandchildren.
Mom/Grandma was on the go all day.
But it does warm my heart when my 27yr old stepson calls "Momma" to come over and make a meal and keep him company.

In my personal relationship things are progressing.
My favorite lines so far - "It's like I have discovered you all over again" and "I love the way your skin smells, I remember it for hours"
How can my heart not melt for that???

Yeah I was pissed off before, but not now.
If anything it has made it stronger.
It didn't matter how things turned out I knew I was going to be OK.

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"and we guys all love our friends' hot mom (like you).. xxoo -your sons horny friend" - ORhelmethead

Friday, January 11, 2008, 4:51:16 AM- Time for something fun

True Story from Houston Medical Center

A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his
hoohoo.

According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the
ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum
jelly to slip the ring on his hoohoo while he was asleep.

I don't know what's worse:

1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your hoohoo.
3) Or finding out your hoohoo fits through your wedding ring.

Viewers Comments (6):

View Comments Tip

Most Recent Comment:

"#3 worst- I have cut many rings off over the years- 911 send people to the local fire station- we have reing cutters. Only off fingers though. My Mom was an emergency room nurse during the 60's & 70's and had many people come in with various objects stuck on by an angry penis. Some were wheel bearings, like off cars, made of hardened steel. They had to drill them off with High speed dental tools. This doesnt happen anymore, thanks to sex shops and sensible "aids" i guess.
Thank goodness I have slim fingers,I mean a thick hoo hoo, that ring thing could never happen to me!"

- mortadella5553

Friday, January 11, 2008, 3:47:36 AM- It was good seeing you tonight..

I think there was alot of progress made tonight in understanding each other's problems.
I am glad we let our heads over rule our urges for once.
The emotion's were a long time in coming, you have to get it out of your system.
Remember though the only person you have to please is yourself.

Viewers Comments (0):