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I Like to Reflect

in the first six months of a relationship...

13-Apr-10 00:31

how many "issues" are too many? I mean, we all have flaws, but what can't you live with?

what are considered acceptable flaws, and what are red flags?

what are some "dealbreakers"?

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Fun red

I just had this conversation with my husband and I was thinking about starting a thread on the topic. Great minds....

13-Apr-10 00:44

I think it depends on the person. We are willing to deal with much more baggage from our partner if our very deepest needs are being met.

An absolute deal breaker for me is yelling or a generally bad temper. Cheating is completely unacceptable to me from the start...but, at this point, I probably would not divorce my husband over an affair. On the other hand, if he became abusive or started yelling a lot I would definitely leave him.

My husband had three criterion for the woman he would marry. Here they are, in order of priority:

1. A nice ass. If a chick has a flat ass he has no interest
2. A profound and sincere enthusiasm for fellatio.
3. Smarts and an intense mothering instinct.

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1234uncut

13-Apr-10 00:55

youre husband is a smart man from the sounds of it !
i dont know what the hell #3 means though...

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socalsam

13-Apr-10 01:27

Dealbreakers
1) insecurity
2) overly materialistic
3) selfishishness
4) religious

Things I find attractive
1) personality
2) a nice ass
3) nice smile
4) independent
5)not afraid to try new things sexually

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Team Sleep

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13-Apr-10 01:37

kay, but FR, say your husband met a girl who had all that but then... hypothetically... a couple months into the relationship she got into his email account and read though his emails. would that be a dealbreaker?

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Team Sleep

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13-Apr-10 01:38

socalsam I agree about insecurity. not only is it unattractive and tedious, but it makes people do weird things to get validation.

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his_princess

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13-Apr-10 01:49

Deal breaker: Lies. Poohbare and I have heard too many in the past and we refuse to tell any to each other. We've been honest about everything - good and bad - right from the start.

Must have: Communication. We discuss everything and if we have differing views, we negotiate a compromise. There is never any browbeating or bullying to change the other's mind.

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Fun red

13-Apr-10 01:51

Team, honestly, it depends on the circumstance.

He would understand a woman's curiosity. Her interest and feelings for him would naturally lead her to WANT to know things about him. But, honesty and trust are everything in a relationship. If she showed patterns of being especially sneaky or lying, then he would come right out and talk to her about it:

"What else have you been through of mine? Can I go through your email, as well? DO YOU HAVE PROBLEMS TRUSTING ME BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING THINGS THAT SHOULD MAKE ME DISTRUST YOU?" My husband does not fuck around with this shit. He'll just come out and say what he thinks. Depending on the honesty, openness, and sincerity expressed by her during the conversation, he would drop her like a hot potato.

By the way, my husband and I have each other's passwords to ALL of our accounts...from banking to FB to email. Every once in a while, I will see that he has checked some of my PMs on here. I know that he does this out of curiosity and also because he often gets off on some of my interactions on here.

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Mr. Sinister

13-Apr-10 01:57

I never met a bitch with problem that chloroform couldn't solve.

Bitch won't shut the fuck up? CHLOROFORM!

Bitch won't give you booty sex? CHLOROFORM!

Bitch wants to watch "Desperate Housewives"? CHLOROFORM!

Bitch wants you to do shit around the house when you're watching football/baseball/basketball game? CHLOROFORM!

Bitch wants to go to her mom's house? CHLOROFORM!

Bitch wants nagging you to death? CHLOROFORM!

Ahhhhh,yes. Chloroform is the secret of any man's happiness in a relationship.

Just some friendly advice from your uncle Sin.

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Fun red

13-Apr-10 01:59

Am I not supposed to laugh at that?

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Mr. Sinister

13-Apr-10 02:00

Bitch wants to laugh? CHLOROFORM!

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Fun red

13-Apr-10 02:04

You can't catch ME!

AHHHH!

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Team Sleep

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13-Apr-10 02:08

I totally laughed too! now I feel bad :/

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renegadeterry

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13-Apr-10 02:27

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socalsam

Sinister

13-Apr-10 02:31

So what you're saying is that CHLOROFORM is the new Dr. Phil?!

I think you may be on to something!

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dirtycopper

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13-Apr-10 03:09

@ Mr. Sin...

Now.....

Where do you buy chloroform?

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TheViper

13-Apr-10 03:23

It's a great chat-up line too...

"Does this smell like cloroform to you?"

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Team Sleep

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13-Apr-10 04:22

snap!

... I should be yelling at you guys!

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HellYeahh

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13-Apr-10 05:08

"Does this smell like cloroform to you?"

Not a line you generally expect an answer to, though.

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TheViper

13-Apr-10 05:25

It's rhetorical.

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Team Sleep

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13-Apr-10 05:55

YOU'RE rhetorical.

now stfu you guys and answer the question!!! SERIOUS BUSINESS OKAAAAYYYYY

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Wodja

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13-Apr-10 06:01

only one ISSUE .......

she WONT SNIFF THE CHLOROFORM ....

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HellYeahh

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OK, OK, OK...

13-Apr-10 06:08

If you're not going to let me be a smartass I guess I'll have ta actually answer...

[whine] but he started it [/whine]

I generally find that the bar depends a little bit on how compatible in other ways we are, though cheating/sneaking is a deal breaker for me. That kind of drama is usually accompanied by all sorts of other poo.

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seaxun

13-Apr-10 08:48

after 25 years ,we still find issues that need to be sorted

who does the rubbish
who does the garden
who does the laundry
who cleans the house
who cleans the car
who cooks
who drives
who fuken cares .

someone mentioned about what the body must look like?...your fukked then! in 20 years time it will all change,what will you do,leave them.tsk tsk *rollseyes at the fickleness of your demands on a persons body *

be honest and dont be clingy.

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feschkka

13-Apr-10 09:54

6 months? I've never got so far in a relashunship

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seaxun

13-Apr-10 10:02

well you do have to keep blowing the doll up feschi tsktssssssssssssk

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feschkka

13-Apr-10 12:37

go hoover the ceilings, slave

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seaxun

13-Apr-10 12:42

I opted to leave that one out feschi,i didnt wanna sound like i wuzz the bish after all!!!

ps i would never larf at you not having a relationship that has only ever lasted 6 months..honest

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feschkka

13-Apr-10 12:45

I just said I never reached 6 months, wipe your specs, fella

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seaxun

13-Apr-10 12:46

i only 'alf read you anyway zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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seaxun

13-Apr-10 12:47

ps and i do larf

you cant hold down a relationship?...
please explain why

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