srxwat4 said: I thought the rule was you'ré only gay if you take it not if you don't,i have always worked that way and now feel i must be a little bit gay
This illustrates the problem of narrow thinking that we all suffer from now and then.
There IS NO RULE. There is only perception.
Once you accept that, the distinctions between "straight" "gay" "bi" and "a little gay but don't tell anyone" all go in the trash where they belong, PARTICULARLY because they can carry all that judgmental baggage of a repressed life. What can take their place, if we allow it to, is an understanding that we are all sexual beings and each of us has our own stuff that arouses us.
My own persona here is that of a very bi, maybe gay, middle aged guy who can sometimes appear to be annoyingly horny. In real life I've been faithful to one woman for over 35 years, have endured over 20 years of sexual refusal from her (even though we still seem to love each other) , and had exactly one cock-in-mouth experience when I was about 17. That sounds about as straight, narrow and asexual as they come. And that very reasonable conclusion would be about as inaccurate as it's possible to get.
Here, I place no limits on my fantasies and allow myself to stretch, to travel and to think outside the box I've lived in all my life. That's probably why my online identity is so bi-positive. In real life, women can absolutely make my knees weak. Men have never done that - they simply have no particular attraction for me.
But I get hot as hell watching nice thobbing cocks and really want to make them cum - hard. What does that make me? Damned if I know - probably bi or curious or something. The more important question to me is whether I'm feeding my sexual self or starving it. Once you get past that, it seems to me that labels are for other people to use instead of engaging in original thought.