A horse and a chicken were playing on the farm.

The horse fell into a big hole and couldn't get out, so he told the chicken to get the farmer to get him out.

The chicken couldn't find the farmer, so he got in the farmer's Mercedes,

attached a rope to the bumper and pulled the horse out.

A few days later, while playing in the yard, the chicken fell into the hole.

The chicken told the horse to find the farmer and get it out.

The horse saw the Mercedes was gone, which meant the farmer wasn't there.

So the horse straddled the hole and the chicken used the horse's cock to climb out.

The moral of the story is this:

If you're hung like a horse,

you don't need a Mercedes to get chicks.

Feb. 1st I will be getting my clippers out and be giving myself a haircut because the weather is turning warmer.

I've been cutting my own hair for over 10 years.

I just like to do it myself.

Of course, you know what might happen -

it will turn cold again.

Kind of like when you wash your car with nary a cloud in the sky...

it will soon rain.

I'm only superstitious when it comes to sports,

so off I go.

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Another sign of the apocalypse:

PETA wants a coin flip to replace Punxutawney Phil.

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... are doomed to repeat it.

I saw today where the Boston Red Sox are going to have a taco & tequila night April 27th.

I guess they forgot what happened in Cleveland June 4th, 1974 on 10 cent beer night.

Good luck!

~

... and still going.

I'm talking about the Detroit-Windsor tunnel that travels under the Detroit River and into Canada.

It opened in 1930.

I've been through it twice -

as a baby with my parents and again in 1980 with friends.

Seeing the water trickling down the sides of the walls does make you drive a bit faster than the posted speed limit.

Something I'd like to do again someday,

since I have friends who live in Windsor.

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How easily we can offend one another.

I strive to be positive,

but sometimes I fail in conveying that to others.

If I hurt someone, it hurts me too.

I apologize if I hurt someone,

and I will strive to do better in the future.

~

Here in the U.S.A., we will we voting for a new president this year.

The closer we get to the election, the more hateful the social media posts will become.

What makes me laugh now is the people who, at any other time than election time, would be syrupy sweet in their posts.

And yet, this demon that lurks inside them makes its way to the surface every four years,

letting the hate spew forth.

After the smoke clears and the election is over,

some will whine and some will boast.

And then things will return to a semblance of normalcy,

for the demon of hate will go to sleep for another four years.

Another one of the good things (sometimes) about getting older is that time passes much quicker for me.

I will still be happy when the whole mess is over.

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imagine how loud a centipede would be if it wore flip flops.

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If you ever want to put a jolt into your sex life,

try having sex against an electric fence.

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I'm at that age where people my age are either getting remarried or getting a divorce...

and I don't know who to go celebrate with.

~