I started masturbating when I was 12 and I've made myself cum at least once every day since them (sometimes 3 times a day) and I fuck a couple of times a week
By that standard I reckon I've made myself cum almost 16 thousand times (excluding fucking) and masturbation alone has accounted for some 80 litres of spunk
so come on how many times and how much is your record-but be honest!