*i have agoraphobia social anxiety and am bipolar (this info just makes the story easier to follow)
been hanging out with a girl of late, its not somthing i do mostly because i have always been much more at ease in the company of guys. I do have girlfriends but on a regular basis the chicks i talk to are long term friends 10 years + friends. Any way this person really made an effort to drag me out of my bubble so i let it happen plus our kids are friends so it was convenient , it started out okay but i noticed her being very quick to tell me about all of her friends dirty laundry which mad me instinctively shut down, i mean whats this woman saying about me, i also in time realised she had not even noticed that i had shut down because by this point all she ever seemed to talk about was her relationship with her husband. She asked me out to lunch last week i went before i had even shut my car door she was say what an asshole he was i lasted an hour and 13 minutes, thats how long it took me to order be served smash my schnizel, chug a lemonade and say right lets go. The most awkward part of it is at this point the only reason i tolerate her now is because i get along really well with her husband and not in a scandalous way. He is funny sharp as a tack ezy going and a little manic just like me, i like going around there for a rum and a worldy conversation on a friday.
Its all over now she pushed this little Vegemite to far (get a coffee)
she rings me yesterday and says "lets go shopping" okay cool i need stuff too, im in see you there. fast forward, Im wandering around the shops waiting for her, she rings, "where are you? blah blah blah meet me in the middle". 5 minutes later im still looking for her, i find her in deep friendly conversation with some group of women, i awkwardly pluck up the courage to walk over, she does not acknowledge me.... nothing, so palpitations deep breath i walk away and continue shopping i figure she will find me. No she rings me "where are you?" blah blah blah meet in the middle...the exact same thing happens i find her talking to this woman i walk over and nothing again i walk away.........phone rings i dont answer phone rings again i answer with "oh what so you are ready to shop now?" she laughs, i say "well im done im going to the register"......we leave that shop shes busy telling me about how hard it is to walk through the shops without seeing people, i dont say much i just want to go but my kid is at her house and my groceries are in her trolley. She decides she need to stop in at the hair dresser to get shampoo for her daughter, fine, in she goes, i hurry down to the newsagent then the butcher for dog bones and she is still in the hairdresser laughing and chatting with the girl on the counter, furious i start pushing the trolley to hint hint im ready to leave, i get right near the exit and she is still in the fucking shop, i start walking back,oh here she fucking comes so i actually whistled to get her attention tapped my watch and said let move. She finally catches up to me and proceeds to tell me that an old lady saw me do it and said she should give me the nazi salute. i asked her if she wanted me to go sit on the husband chair while she went and had a 20 minute conversation with the old lady about it. she laughed i shook my head and she said you are just frustrated. wtf is that.
any way i get back to her house she beat me there her husband comes out to help her with the 2 bags of groceries and says to me "i heard shopping was an experience" with a big smile. i laughed and said that i will never go shopping with her again. shes starts bitching about how she is a good shopper and its not her fault she cant just ignore people at the shop....................................my jaw hit the floor her husband saw it coming...what about me? all you had to do was say "oh look heres my friend good to see you guys we will catch up soon bye". she said she was a good shopper me and her husband laughed she stomped off upstairls lol i looked at her husband and he said yeah mate there is somthing wrong with it no one can figure it her out.
with a sigh i went up stairs to "fix it" she was cutting veges and i said me: "whats wrong does someone need a cuddle? dont you like being teased (she teases me all the time it dosnt phase me)
she says the ulitimate: " im fine its all good"
me: " mmm yes i can feel how "good" it is"
she says: 'its good everythings good"
me walking down the stairs "yeah i heard you its so good im going home"
she says really its fine im fine"
me yeah its all good dont worry"
so i pack up all the kids stuff she follows me and says i will bring her home later iths all good (still with the all good) i told her no saves you driving out later its all good we stared eachother down she said fine and walked back inside(really i just did not want to see her face later)
she is always bitching about how she just wishes someone was on her side or had someone who would listen to her or know her..................well i did all of the above and look what it got me a shopping trip that nearly plunged me into an anxiety attack i push myself out of my comfort zones only to be put into and social nightmare situation then laughed at about it and told im just frustrated......
so i quit girls again for a while
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Thankyou to all my status heads who gave me such a smiles it carried me through the day