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 First |  Previous | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Next  | Last  | Page 13 of 39 |
| Sunday, December 15, 2013, 3:04:38 AM- Sock it to me Santa | ||||
Bob Seger and the Last Heard. Yes this was back in pre System and Silver Bullet days. I love the cartoon on this version | ||||
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| Saturday, December 14, 2013, 2:57:34 AM- Day 1 of Xmas songs (Santa Claus won't come this year) | ||||
not as funny as the previous blog but I heard this as a little kid | ||||
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| Friday, December 13, 2013, 7:04:52 PM- Canadian Police Chase (non Moose version) | ||||
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| Friday, December 13, 2013, 4:40:21 AM- Just a couple of pic type things | ||||
Hope neither have been posted by others on here   | ||||
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| Wednesday, December 11, 2013, 3:54:42 AM- Why the Mammogram Tech was assaulted | ||||
While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say "Your Honor, I'm guilty b...ut..... There were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I did too, so I listened as the lady told her story. "Your Honour, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?" I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap! Complete darkness, the power was off! Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise grip alone are you?" I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy... The door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back." Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire," found me... standing on my tip-toes, half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did, but thanks anyway." "OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store. Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?" And that, Your Honour, is exactly how her head ended up between clamps...." The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed". | ||||
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| Wednesday, December 4, 2013, 3:15:06 AM- Birthday hotel bill | ||||
Lucille decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!" The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." "But I didn't use them." ''Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here." "But I didn't go to any of those shows." "Well, we have them, and you could have." No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response. After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But Madam, this check is for only $50.00 "That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me." "But I didn't!" "Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have." | ||||
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| Sunday, December 1, 2013, 7:37:08 PM- | ||||
Had a somewhat productive morning. Drained the hot tub. Talked with a friend (a couple times). Took a walk while the tub drained. Cleaned and started to refill the hot tub. Recharged phone. Had brunch. Turned the power back on to the hot tub. Put away wet vac and the extension cords. For the afternoon it looks like housecleaning or just sit outside enjoying the last warm days of the year. | ||||
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| Wednesday, November 27, 2013, 7:24:36 PM- Now those are turkey breasts! | ||||
 This pic goes around every Thanksgiving. It is not photoshopped. You can do this yourself. Impress your prevy friends, embarrass your children, and piss off those conservative relatives to the point they will never come back. Talk about making for a Happy Thanksgiving. To do this at home, cut two lemons of about the same size in half. Then slide the halves with the 'nipple' on the end, under the skin of the turkey. I have done this on a chicken, it worked great. Gave a nice lemony flavor to the breast meat. | ||||
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| Wednesday, November 27, 2013, 12:56:54 AM- kNNock Our Socks Off! | ||||
In spite of a nasty cold and a SD card that died, I did get this challenge done. After attempt 11. Not exactly how I wanted but better than nothing. Nope, not gonna show the boy bits  Sexy circle socks  Dr. Seuss is so jealous  The End  Here is the list of challenge players: bighoss2, guitartxn, Uschi7337, Whispermyname, Showy_Showy, ali_dee, InnateLovers, Viszla1, luvthelabia, dziga, masterstoy91, KaioticEvil, hornyman1155, stretch, Tardis, safire13, lennyknatural, Jersey_Girl, nickey69, elle40, MrMrsFX, arabella_topaz, hornyman1155, northern_star and tight_wet_lips. For auto-links: [url]http://bitly.com/bundles/rockhard6isback/h[/url] | ||||
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| Sunday, November 24, 2013, 8:33:18 PM- Part 2 of Fridays blog. | ||||
This blog is really more for me. My dad would hear the eagle scream every Friday. He would get off work, stop home to pick me up; we would then go to the bank so he could cash his check. That Friday it was planned that we take mom alone so we could go out to eat dinner. This was something we did once a month or so. Fast food was mostly in the future in 1963 so eating out was special. But that Friday we passed. I don’t know if most places were closed or what. But dad promised we would eat out Sunday. Mom was happy since she wouldn’t need to make two big meals Thanksgiving week. If you asked me what I ate last Monday there is no way I could tell you. But I remember what I ate November 24, 1963. We were at what could best be called a roadhouse. At one point it had been a truck stop on the Dixie Hiway. There was a TV in the corner above the room. It was turned on to the news of the day. I liked this place to eat because they put extra parsley on the plates. Yea I loved parsley as a kid. The rest of my meal was Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes and cole slaw. I was in the middle of chowing down when the entire restaurant looked at the TV. My dad made a remark to us about that’s the guy. The room was absolutely silent as everyone watched Oswald walking with his hands kind of crossed. To this day I think it strange he had a sweater on. Plainclothes cops were all around him. Then some guy kind of shoving people and a shot. Then all hell broke loose. It is quite unusual to see someone shot while eating dinner. My mom and dad pretty much didn’t finish eating. They, like most in the place, elected to get a takeout box. I on the other hand did finish. I guess the impact to a third grader is less than for an adult. I don’t know why but I remember only bits and pieces of the funeral. The flag draped casket with the rider less horse behind it is about all. But the events of November 22 and 24 are something I can never forget. I don’t know if anyone who lived through it can. | ||||
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