Viewing Member - Veyron_UK

Hi all

Well a bit of an update to start with. First the good news (yes there is some!).

Managed to get a car. A Peugeot 308 very similar to this one: [url]http://www.goodcleantech.com/peugeot308-1.jpg[/url], even down to the colour! (Although the steering wheel is on the right!). Got it at a car auction, one year old, 10,000 miles on the clock so it’s pretty new and so far there hasn’t been anything wrong with it. I’m well chuffed with it even though I got it back in March, still had the “new car” smell! So whoever had it last really took care of it and hardly used it!


Anyway i’m going to bring things back into line with my usual blogs, the bad news.

I’m having to re-applying for my job and if i don’t get it i’m unemployed. Shit situation to be in, but even more so due to the current recession. There aren’t any decent IT jobs at all knocking about where i live. They weren’t in abundance before the economy took a swan dive. So i’m looking at maybe losing my job within the next few months if everything doesn’t work out. I’m trying not to think about it but i think i’ll be in some serious deep shit if i don’t get it. I may hate my job but it’s a job and a source of income.

Secondly my knee is fucked up again. For those who don’t know i tore the cartilage in my right knee about 2 years ago. Had key-hol surgery on it which sorted it out. But about a month ago it started playing up to the extent that i couldn’t even walk to and from work (1.5 miles away) without it flaring up and forcing me to limp the rest of the way. While it’s got better since then it still gives me trouble after i’ve exercised or walked a great distance.
Had an appointment with the doctors this morning and i’ve got to have a MRI scan on it again. Honestly i’d be surprised if i’ve torn the cartilage again as, unlike last time, i haven’t lost any flexibility in my knee and it isn’t a constant pain. But i’m not pinning my hopes on anything at the moment.

I was going to look at the possibility of getting a place to myself, either a house or flat but with my job very much in the air i’ve had to put that on hold. In face i’ve had to put pretty much everything on hold that involves forking out a load of money!
Also had to put taking up Tae Kwon Do again on hold due my knee fucking up. I’m now starting to seriously doubt i’ll ever be able to start doing it again. I did it at uni for a whole year without any problems but i don’t want to run the risk.

Also something not involving me but my brother. Last time i spoke to him he told me he’s been to the docs cause he thinks he felt a lump on his balls. The doc has referred him to get a scan but worst case scenario is he’s got testicular cancer although if he has he’s got it in the very early stages, according to the doc who referred him.

Not much else to say. The month or so i’ve been really, really down but i’m trying to get my arse out of that situation.

Oh well might be out tomorrow so hopefully getting out and about will cheer me up!

Mark

The genius of the hole. No matter how much time you spend climbing out, you can still fall back down in an instant...

Mark

Hi all

I very, very rarely remember my dreams. Which is probably a good thing as they are either very horrible or very surreal.

Last night I think was a mixture of both and it caused me to wake up at 2am this morning.

People say that dreams always mean something. I wasn't too sure about it until I watched a documentary on TV a few weeks ago about dreams. And the long and short of it was dreams do mean something. It’s our brains way of trying to make sense of what we’ve been through the last day or two. And it sometimes reflects and mental health and well-being.

I can't decide whether I’d want to know what my dreams meant or not as I’ve said they aren't pleasant.

Anyways if you fancy having a look into my head I’m going to describe what I dreamt off last night before I forgot, although I’d be surprised if I did that anytime soon!

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I was walking up a hill on a very slight incline. The hill was covered in thick green grass which was swaying heavily in the strong wind, although I couldn't feel any wind at all.
The sun was setting and it caused the few clouds in the sky to be a tinge of red - reddy/purple.

I was walking towards somebody on top of the hill. She was wearing one of them old Victorian style dresses which was a creamy white. Long strands of fabric from her dress where gently flapping behind her, as was her hair, due to the wind. When I saw her hair I know instantly who it was. It was K.

I was walking up the hill from diagonally behind her, at an acute angle (45 degrees) over her left shoulder. I couldn't see her face and when I got close to her I stopped. I looked in the direction she was, which was the setting sun over a very thick and dark forest.

Without turning around she held out her left hand towards me. I looked at it before taking it in my hand. She held it tight and I did in return. For a split second i felt warm and happy but I felt something wasn't right. I looked at her head, trying to catch a glimpse of her face.

She slowly rotated her head towards me. As more and more of her face became visible it was easy to see her face was very decomposed. Her face was rotten with only a few patches, partially including her lips, showing perfect unaffected skin. Chunks of flesh where gone completely showing bone, the surrounding flesh was black and rotten. Her eyes where gone and there was nothing there but black empty pits. She stopped turning her head when she was looking straight at me.

It scared the shit of me. I wanted to run but I was frozen to the spot.

I looked down at our hands to see a black "plague" thing spread down her arm to her hands and then onto my hands and up my arm. My arm when numb and it started to fester and rot right in front of my eyes. Bit and pieces of me started to drop off. I could feel it spread up my body to my face and as it did I look at K.

This might sound weird but even though she had no eyes, I got this overwhelming feeling of sadness from her. She then slowly opened her mouth and then the constant none-stopping sound of a crying baby started.

As the stuff spread across my face I found it hard to breath. I felt weak, sick, cold and alone.

****************************************************************

That was when I woke up. The freaky thing was that I could still hear the baby-cry sound from outside my window. I nearly shat myself before I relished it was two of the feral cats that live round my area facing off! It's not the first time I’ve heard that sound but if anybody else has, it doesn't sound like a high pitched crying baby. Well it does to me anyway.

But anyway, that was my dream. I don't know if it does mean anything or whether it was just a random collection of stuff.

Fingers crossed I don’t remember any of my future dreams anytime soon.

Mark

Hi all

Looking at my last blog it didn’t turn out that bad. Considering I had about 7 pints of Guinness on an empty-ish stomach and my emotions where tearing at my heart! Even though I was kinda drunk in two ways what I wrote was pretty much what I was feeling and what I was going through that night.

And as always I haven’t been able to think about anything else but K since Wednesday night.

I’ve got to find a new way to deal with how I feel about her. Last time I tried distancing myself from her. It kinda worked, even though it took a bit of time but the reason we didn’t talk for a few months was mainly due to what she was going through. I offered help, support or just somebody to talk to, which she was grateful for, but the nature of what she was going through kept her both away from town and from her PC.

And now I’m going to be out with her a week on Saturday for a night out and I’m also trying to sort out a little outing for the pair of us as she wants to go back to the primary school we both went to. And god knows what will happen after that.

I can’t be what I consider a proper friend if I’m not there for her. Both for support or just to meet up for fun. So avoiding her is no longer an option.

In an ideal world I would be able just to ask her how she honestly felt about me, without any repercussions. Although I’d probably be devastated if she said she only sees me as a friend or she didn’t look at me that way but I guess that would be a risk I’d have to take. I couldn’t do with losing another friend due to me expressing how I really feel about them.

So I’m back at square one. Where I was last year beating myself up over somebody who probably only sees me as a friend and nothing more.

Problems are always simple it’s just a shame the solution is anything but!

Oh well, life goes on and now I’m going through the process of trying to find a car which is both affordable and decent. A tricky combination!

Mark

Hi all

Well, tonight has churned up a lot of feelings that i thought i had put behind me...for the better.

K, who i haven’t seen since early December, has an art exhibition on. What her and a photographer had done was to “re-create” a series of famous painted portraits. I’m not really up to scratch of famous pieces of art so most of it went over my head but one or two i sorta connected with as they portrayed Greek mythology. Which, when i was much younger, i use to be heavy into. There was only about a dozen pics of her but they were all great. K looked great in all of them (par one!). She had put a lot of effort and time into it and when she invited me to attend the opening reception i couldn’t really say no.

Anyway for those not in the know or who haven’t read my previous blogs i have a very soft spot for K. I said once that i loved her and, after a while, i thought i had gotten over that and moved on but after tonight i know i haven’t moved on at all.
The exhibition was held over a 2 hour period and while i only talked to K for about 10 minutes in total everything i had felt for her came back.

I hate this, i really do. She’s been going out with her boyfriend for nearly 3 years and i have absolutely no chance with her but i can’t help how i feel. I wish i could but me and love haven’t exactly been on the best of terms since god knows when. I wish i could rip my heart and all the feeling attached to it out of my chest and just throw it away, never to be aquatinted with any of it ever again.

Don’t get me wrong i’m happy that she is happy with her life and with her boyfriend. I just wish i was the boyfriend. But if i was would she be happy?

Anyway i’ve been drowning my sorrows in a pub on my todd. Which i’ve done the last two times i’ve been “out”. When i was younger i noticed sometimes that there was a guy all by himself in a pub/club nursing a pint by himself. I always felt sorrow for that person...but i never relished that in time i would become that man. It’s kinda pathetic in a way that i’ve allowed myself to become him.

But now at the end of the night i’m thinking once again “Why do i always fall for the one i can never have?”

Mark

Hi all

A long time ago....no, not in a galaxy far, far away but right here in this very set of not-very-often-read collection of blogs i made a list called "My sex wish list..."

To be boringly precise it was the 25th of June 2007, which was a Monday........at 8:41:43 PM

If you can't be bothered to scroll that far back (and i wouldn't blame you) then i've copied that blog below.

****************************************************************

Hey

Feeling a little horny (just like every other day!) so i thought i'd write a little list of things that i'd like to do sex-wise. I think my sex life has been pretty dull so far so don't be surprised if there's a lot i haven't done!

1. Would love to try anal sex. I love doggy and i love a very nice ass but i haven't managed to convince any of the women i've slept with to let me in there

2. Have a threesome. Either with a MF or a FF (i wish!) i'm not that picky. Not really sure why i want to try this but i do, so there!

3. Give a facial. I've never once shot my load over a woman’s face but i would love to.

4. Get deep-throated. Never been deep throated...nuff said

5. Swallow. I've never had my entire load swallowed either. My blowjob history is pretty dire to be honest. I've only ever had a handful of decent sucks. And when it came down to cumming i either shot on the tits or they just wanked me off into their mouth then spat it out.

6. Tit-fuck/wank. I love a nice pair of tits and while i've cum on a pair or two i've never had my cock between a nice big soft pair.

7. All day sex session. Having a rampant sex-drive but getting very little there are some days when i wish i could nothing but shag! Would love to just spend a day shagging. Doubt that'll ever happen but hey i can dream! (Just a bit of advice on this one. I get hard very easily from getting sucked after i've shot my load. My head gets very sensitive!)

8. Make a sex vid. Again i doubt this one is very likely but i've love to make a vid of me having sex.

9. Take numerous pics of me having sex then post them on here! I don't think this one will happen soon either as i'm single and it seems that nobody wants to sleep with me

So there you go. If there are any ladies out there how want to help me with any of these then i would be greatly indebted to you.

**************************************************************

Wow, proof of near desperation if ever one where needed! But anyway to summarise:

1) Anal Sex
2) Threesome
3) Give Facial
4) Get Deep-Throated
5) Swallow
6) Tit-wank/fuck
7) All Day session
Make Vid
9) Pics of sex

Not too sure about the last two but anywho now comes the time to cross off the list the things i have managed to do since then........

.......ok i'll be honest i have failed to do any of them things. In fact if i'm being totally honest i haven't even had sex since then...or got my hands on a naked woman...or even a non-naked women for that matter. No kissing, holding hands, hugging, gazing longingly into somebody’s eyes, no sweet nothings whispered in my ear. Nothing!

I think i need a hug (and a HELL of a lot more!)



Mark

Hi all

Well it's been one of those weeks. Nothing drastically has gone wrong. Instead it's a lot of really tiny things.

First off is the car. My dad mentioned that there was a very slim chance that i might be able to get his lease car. My dad's company leases their cars and the lease company were planning on selling his when the 3 year lease was up. My dad said if the company didn't buy it then i might be able to buy it off them. He stressed time and time again that the chance was slim but i was for some reason hoping i would be able to get it. However that feel through so i'm now left deciding if i should fork out a lot of cash for a brand new car, which i'd be stuck with for god knows how many years. Or get a car second hand and take the chance of constantly dishing out cash to repair it when it breaks down.

Second thing is my TV. I ordered a new TV a week last Wednesday, they took the cash from my account of Thursday....and that's it! I heard nothing from them. So yesterday i rang up and asked "where's me TV?" I was told it is out of stock but they're expecting some more next week. On their website there is fuck all to suggest that it was out of stock. Even when i ordered it it didn't tell me they were out of stock! I know it isn't anything even slightly serious but it is annoying to kept in the dark when you've handed over £550.

Thirdly thanks to the economic state of the UK my savings have have taken a massive dent. Basically all i have are my saving which are nicely tucked away in my ISA. I couldn't buy a house beforehand because of the insane house prices and i can't get one now cause i can't get a decent mortgage without getting fucked over by the greedy bastard banks who cause all this shit in the first place!
Last year i was getting interest of about £30 a month. Now i'm only just getting £10 Now, i'm not even going to claim i know all the ins and outs about the economy but Brown was saying it's to help the people in debt....so the people who have taken out stupid loans, got themselves into a lot of debt and lived beyond their means, are getting help from the Government while people like me who have saved, lived within their means are getting fucked. Am i the only one who thinks that's slightly unfair? A lot of pensioners rely on the interest from their savings to live. It's rewarding the people who were reckless and punishing the people who were careful.

Fourth (and we're getting really, really petty now) I dropped my Notts County mug at work....and the handle broke!!!! I know, shock horror! lol! But the mug then proceed to slice my finger which turned out to be one of those annoying end of finger bleeds which just won't stop and is really sensitive. Although it was my middle finger so i had a lot of fun running up to people showing my middle finger and saying "LOOK, LOOK, LOOK i've cut my middle finger!!!" while waving it in their face!

I was also reminded that at some stage in the future i'm going to have to reapply for my job, which is going to be publicly advertised. I don't really like my job, but it's a job and a source of income every month. Which is more than a lot of people in the UK have at the moment. I've been looking for a new job for the past year and i have noticed the amount of advertised job has dried up noticeably.

Like i said it's nothing major. In fact i wouldn't even call any of this tiny but it all happened on the same day which was annoying but it could be a hell of lot worse!

But i'm not really looking forward to next week as the following Saturday it's Valentines day! I HATE V-Day and people are already talking about it, along the lines of what have you got planned,what are buying, where are you going out to eat, etc and the shops in Nottingham are already carting out the over-priced, tacky V-day shite!

Luckily it's a Saturday so i'll be hiding under my bed covers watching either Schilder's List or Saving Private Ryan...or both.

Mark

Hi all

For all you "none believers" behold!

[url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/derbyshire/7860217.stm[/url]

They should get the Ghostbusters in! lol!

Mark

When you click on the link, click on the "watch in HD" above the "view" count to get a high quality and bigger picture.

Enjoy...

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bj9RzMujKP0&feature=related[/url]

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are,
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.

Then the traveller in the dark,
Thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so...




Though I know not what you are,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star....