My wife and I are swingers. Many people don't understand our lifestyle choice ("You WANT your spouse to have sex with others? Why?", and it's certainly not for everyone, but it definitely works for us! We both had previous relationships that were sexually unfulfilling in one way or another, and for each of us when those relationships ended we immediately gravitated to the swing lifestyle, where casual sex in the norm. So when we met, we were both already swingers, enjoying sex with many partners. But even in our lifestyle, the sex isn't always generally strictly "casual"... certainly, there is sex outside of marriage (or other committed relationship), which is what a lot of people *mean* when they say "casual sex", but many of the people with whom we share sexual intimacies are friends... GOOD friends... and being friends makes the sex more fun! While this philosophy is not true of ALL swingers (some prefer sex with random strangers), it is the norm in the circles we move in and at the parties we attend. While we are certainly open to sex with people we don't know well, part of the process is to get to know them better so that by the time we fuck, we have become friends, at least a little bit.
The way society "programs" us, it seems that the concepts of "romantic love" and "sexual pleasures" are linked together irrevocably. But why? When you get right down to it, is sex really that much different than any other recreational activity? Frankly, I would no more object to my wife having sex with a friend than I would to her playing racquetball with a friend... I would just ask that she be safe... in either activity. Though, to be honest, it's a LOT more fun to watch my wife have sex with others than it is to watch her play racquetball... but that's just me! I love my wife VERY much, and she loves me... and why would I want to deny the woman I love with all my heart all that life has to offer... including sexual pleasures beyond what I can give her! Bigger cocks, multiple cocks, men (and women) with differing techniques, etc. And sometimes we can learn new techniques, or share our techniques with others. When we have sex with multiple partners, our own skills improve! We become better lovers for each other in the process!
My wife and I recently started a sexual relationship with a couple we'd met through non-sexual channels... a first for us! In the past, our play has always been with couples (or singles) who we met at a party, or who we met through a swingers' social site. But this couple we knew in a "vanilla" context, and it evolved into a sexual relationship. We are experienced swingers, and the other couple are newbies -- though they were actively seeking a swinger experience -- and when they learned *we* were experienced swingers it just kind of fell into place. We have now had sexual encounters with them on several occasions, and they have been quite satisfying, for all of us! And one of the nice things about this is that there is an opportunity for learning. My wife taught the other wife some new techniques for pleasing her husband, and for *receiving* pleasure from him... and the other husband taught my wife some new techniques as well... a bit surprising considering her level of experience, but a delightfdul surprise! My wife has since used these new techniques with me, and they are wonderful!
Most importantly, my wife and I have enough faith in our partner's love that we feel no jealousy, because we know, with absolute certainty, the while we are free to share our bodies with others, that our hearts belong exclusively to each other! Often when my wife is being fucked by another man, I will be kissing her and telling her how much I love her... and it makes the sex even hotter!
So if anyone is curious about the swing lifestyle, or has any curiosity about how it all works (for us specifically, or in general), just ask! I (the husband, Vlad) have been swinging for 8 years; my wife (The Squirter) for about 7 years; and we've been swinging together as a couple for about 4 years. Neither one of us had felt any jealousy, not once in the four years we've been friends and lovers, nor in the 2-1/2 years we've been married. And we've each had dozens of sexual partners. We talk about our lovers, we share the experiences we have. We talk about what we find particularly exciting about our playmates, and yet we never doubt our love and commitment to each other!
I think it's a beautiful thing!