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Tuesday, November 22, 2005, 5:35:10 AM- From the beginning

Ok so I’ll start from the beginning. This girls name is Laura. I met her in a bar one night when I was working. At first I just expected it to be a one night stand. But the next morning when I took her home she asked if she could see me again and I said sure and gave her my cell number. And it started, she called me latter that day and I asked if she wanted to go out to eat. She told me sure. So we met up and when to eat then we went to the bar, got drunk, when home and fucked. This when on this way for a while and I never really committed anything to the relationship. Then one night after some kick ass, earth shattering sex, she held me tight and told me she loved me then asked me if she could keep me. I said sure. After about a month I finally fell for this girl. I mean fell hard she does all these little things that just make me melt and make me so happy. Then after about 8 months or so he tells me she is through with this relation ship and she just wants to be friends. Her reasons for this where as follows. I don’t feel I deserve you, I don’t love you like I should, I feel like you are more family to me than a husband or boyfriend, and I’m unhappy. So I was all kinds of upset and hurt but even though she said all these thing she still continued to hang out with me and we eventually got back together for another 4 and a half months or so. Then one night I came home and she came over. She was acting kind of funny all night and finally I asked her what was wrong and she told me she had feelings for some one else and she could not lie any more. She told me that she has been unhappy all this time gave me all the same old reasons she gave last time and said that she was hoping that her feelings would change and she would grow to love the way she felt she should. Then I didn’t see her for about 2 month. She whole time she dated this complete looser. Finally one night I was over at her sisters house and she was there. We got drunk that night and ended up sleeping together. She broke up with the other guy shortly after and we got back together for like 3 days. Then she ended it again told me pretty much the same things she said last time. But since then we have been hanging out a lot and acting as though we where together but she will not commit she basically wants a relationship where if we get the erg we can go fuck someone else. And that’s where we stand now and I hate it but I can’t bring myself to kick her to the curb. So tell me what you think I should do.

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Tuesday, November 22, 2005, 5:14:08 AM- About me

I'm 23, I'll be 24 on DEC. 19, I work at a retail store called Tuesday morning and I have a girl friend who uses me for what ever she can get. Oh and I'm in a law suit with the whore mother of my child for custody. Now most of this stuff I can handle with out much of a problem but the thing in my life that bothers me to the point I cut myself in order to get my mind of it is the relation ship I have with this so called girl friend of mine. I honestly think she is tiring to drive me crazy. I love her with all my heart and whish for nothing more to grow old with her and live a happy life. This girl make me happy in ways I have never felt before but at the same time she makes me feel like the lowest person on earth. This is what drives me to the point of insanity. Part of me says drop this bitch like the bad habit she is. The other tells me this girl makes you so happy why would you want to get rid of her? I have no where else to turn so I have decided to ask for advise from my friends at NN.