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If you didn't or don't eat her cunt & ass hole, that's a shame; if you didn't smoke the cigarettes she put in her cunt, that's a shame.
Since you're into using her for S & M- you ought to let her do bondage on you. If she won't do it to you, find a woman who'll do S & M & bondage to you.
You owe it to yourself to get a woman who'll do bondage & S & M on you. You'll learn what's painful. You can use it on your women. A mutual S & M & bondage relationship can be rewardin. A man has to have balls to be into a mutual torture, bondage & S & M relationship.
You only live once; but once is enough if you live hard & do nearly everything. Life is a big party; party hearty.
Good luck.