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Been Thinking...
13-Jul-21 01:13
I didn't know quite where to write this, whether to my blog or the goodbye thread. It's not right away, since someone had bought me premium that won't expire until a few weeks from now on the 30th. I don't want to waste the money and abruptly stop it.
I originally found this site through a question and answer site. Someone asked where they could post nude pics, ones where it's free to post and you don't have to do anything special. So someone answered to come here, and so I did as well and signed up in April 2019, but didn't post until a month later due to hesitation. I met people, but none of them ever lasted so long to talk to me except for one. I originally came on here to gain confidence, but obviously that didn't work.
I seriously don't feel mentally healthy to be on here, nor do I feel like I fit in.
I have wrote many statuses and a few blogs talking about how I feel about myself. I deal with with body dysmorphia, depression, and anxiety after being bullied about my appearance. Because of that, I never listen to compliments being given to me or even look at comments left by people. I had close to 200 photos, but those are long gone now. I deleted them due to low views, and felt like they weren't good enough.
Back to my body.
It can get to a point where I have mental breakdowns, crying so hard over my body wondering why I didn't become tall, skinny, with small perky breasts. I look at those women on here who are able to take lingerie photos, or take photos outdoors and just looking so good. I put on the recent lingerie set, and just want to cry.
Boobs too big to fit in a bra with an unattractive sag.
My stomach nearly covering up all the sexy panty. It looks like attempting to put a thong over a bag of potatoes. I'm unfortunately not an hourglass.
I was going to do a wet t-shirt, but now it's a no go for my body type.
I feel like I don't belong here with my body type, considering the amount of perfect skinny people I see on the front page and in public chat. If a perfectly skinny woman shows up in chat, loads of people talk to her. But when someone like me shows up, we're barely noticed at all. I go looking at these women, wishing I could be them. Majority of the time if they're on the front page in featured, I always comment: "Perfect, wish I looked like you."
They are perfection, I'm not.
Once July 30th is up, I most likely will delete my profile because I just don't feel mentally healthy enough to be on here due to my body dysmorphia. Even though I will most likely not be missed, pretty sure there will be a few curious people out there wondering why I suddenly disappeared.
I originally found this site through a question and answer site. Someone asked where they could post nude pics, ones where it's free to post and you don't have to do anything special. So someone answered to come here, and so I did as well and signed up in April 2019, but didn't post until a month later due to hesitation. I met people, but none of them ever lasted so long to talk to me except for one. I originally came on here to gain confidence, but obviously that didn't work.
I seriously don't feel mentally healthy to be on here, nor do I feel like I fit in.
I have wrote many statuses and a few blogs talking about how I feel about myself. I deal with with body dysmorphia, depression, and anxiety after being bullied about my appearance. Because of that, I never listen to compliments being given to me or even look at comments left by people. I had close to 200 photos, but those are long gone now. I deleted them due to low views, and felt like they weren't good enough.
Back to my body.
It can get to a point where I have mental breakdowns, crying so hard over my body wondering why I didn't become tall, skinny, with small perky breasts. I look at those women on here who are able to take lingerie photos, or take photos outdoors and just looking so good. I put on the recent lingerie set, and just want to cry.
Boobs too big to fit in a bra with an unattractive sag.
My stomach nearly covering up all the sexy panty. It looks like attempting to put a thong over a bag of potatoes. I'm unfortunately not an hourglass.
I was going to do a wet t-shirt, but now it's a no go for my body type.
I feel like I don't belong here with my body type, considering the amount of perfect skinny people I see on the front page and in public chat. If a perfectly skinny woman shows up in chat, loads of people talk to her. But when someone like me shows up, we're barely noticed at all. I go looking at these women, wishing I could be them. Majority of the time if they're on the front page in featured, I always comment: "Perfect, wish I looked like you."
They are perfection, I'm not.
Once July 30th is up, I most likely will delete my profile because I just don't feel mentally healthy enough to be on here due to my body dysmorphia. Even though I will most likely not be missed, pretty sure there will be a few curious people out there wondering why I suddenly disappeared.
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