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| Saturday, December 10, 2005, 9:35:48 PM- alarm clocks | ||
When I look back on my life and all the times I have had in a womans company and I have had as much sex as my body could stand and I have no regrets but one thing sticks out in my mind; there is no nicer or more enjoyable way to be woken up from a deep sleep than the feel of a womans lips wrapped around a man's cock. How can a man pleasure a woman to that extent? | ||
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| Tuesday, December 6, 2005, 4:13:22 AM- breaking wind | ||||
One of my friends has written a about a person farting at the bus stop. What is the problem?? every adult on the face of the earth farts on average 17 times a day. the amount of gas expelled is about the same amount that would fill a medium size balloon. Everytime you expel air (fart) you become a better person because you become a cleaner, better person; you are replacing the bad air from inside your system with clean air. Lets face it, you fart on average 17 times a day also so let us all get off this sanctimonious high horse, stop the hypocricy right now and face up to reality, stop trying to take the high moral ground on this issue, lets call a spade a spade; My fellow members sometimes you stink!!! I find from personal experience that the best fart for me is the one as I just get under the duna and as I settle down and then let one rip. This is usually greeted with "You dirty stinking bastard why do you make me suffer night after night with the smell of your rotten guts, you do that again and I'm going to sleep in the spare room" She never does or at least not in the last 36 years! Ah well some people just don't appreciate quality!! | ||||
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| Sunday, December 4, 2005, 9:14:05 PM- Shopping | ||||
Since I still do a bit of work for friends as a floor sander, I was buying some supplies last week from my local merchant and right next door is an Adult Supplies shop, so I went in for a bit of a look. I could have bought a cheap vibrator for $45 and a really good one for $100. The shop owner dropped a magic bullet into my pocket and I thought it was my phone going off!. It certainly looked impressive because everything else was done up in cheap gawdy packaging,the toys were just crap plastic selling for outragous prices. It made me think that the purpose you buy things for, dictates the mark up on the items e.g. buying stuff for wedddings, funerals, christenings,graduations etc seems to inspire the shopkeepers etc to jack up the price beyond comprehension. I am fast coming to the conclusion that a mobile or cell phone wrapped in a condom is far cheaper and probably more effective than anything else, so long as you can imagine a rectangular penis!! and a candle should be a self lubricating substitute for the real thing. But then I am only a man and a fast fading one at that. Have a good day. | ||||
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| Monday, November 28, 2005, 8:55:48 PM- Chatting to a cock (Sorry Juicy!) | ||||
I am constantly bombarded in Chat room by the eager young studs to look at their pics; well when I do, all I can see is an infinite number of shots of the same thing. There is full frontal, side shots, isometric projections, in fact quite often, the whole gallery is taken up with photos of their penis. Does that mean that their control centre for their body is in their penis. I want to look at the torso, perhaps a towel or shorts on the body, I know girls are often turned on by the male butt, preferably in a pair of lycra bike shorts or a well built upper torso; possibly some women may have a foot fetish or have an urge to purchase the mens jocks to smell or chew or whatever one does with a pair of panties or jocks! So to all potential pic takers, unless your brains are in your penis, give everyone a bit of variety to look at, take a leaf out of the girls' book ; you dont see a vast mayority of pics showing pussies and thus I believe girls dont have their brain centre there, (well the vast majority anyway), personally I enjoy looking at the face, to see if they have a rugged face or otherwise; but then I'm an old fart, what would I know eh?? | ||||
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| Sunday, November 27, 2005, 11:02:08 AM- PROSTITUTION BY ANOTHER NAME | ||||
I spent the weekend in Sydney, a city of almost 5 million people a place Aussie Beauty described as a shitty place, I would be more direct and call it a cold shithole it is almost as cold as NYC. We went out to a restaurant and when we were leaving, the doorman called up a taxi that was parked about 10 yards away; he opened the door with one hand and held out the other for a tip, which is most unusual in Australia. He spoke in an American Accent,said yes I am American . And then the nightmare flooded back of my otherwise very enjoyable holiday in America and Canada. Everywhere you go there is allways some turkey with his hand out telling you about the excellent service they have given you which would be no more than very basic at home here in Australia. The hide and the front of these people whose bullshit knows no bounds, prostituting themselve and the pride, not to mention self esteem just to screww money out of mainly tourists for imagined good service makes my blood boil. The standard story is" we only get a low wage and we rely on tips to give us a standard level of income" Well if it is that poor, then get out of the service industry and into something that does pay without having to beg like the beggars in the streets of India | ||||
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| Thursday, November 24, 2005, 4:48:09 AM- My fabulous wife | ||||
Last night in chatroom someone referred to wanting to pick up an Indian Fuck, when questioned, he tried to suggest it was a fun t5hing; a term of endearment almost. I married an Indian Fijian girl 36 years ago, as some would know, I am Catholic and my wife is Hindu. When the children (3) were small & I was away trucking, she took then to church every Sunday, went to instruction re Communion and Confirmation and worked her butt off to raise the children. When I went bad with the trucks and lost everything, she went back to work and studied to be a psychiatric nurse and worked in the local hospital 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and I was working on building sites so that in the last 25 years we have built and paid for a new home, a 4WD and a current model sedan, got a boat and caravan. We have also put 2 of the children through University. Today, we are retired, my wife has Arthritis and Diabetes, she is a registered counsellor in both diseases and runs free courses in Arthritis management 3 or 4 times a year in the community. If everything, every decision I made in my entire life was wrong, marrying my wife was the best thing I have ever done. I find it hard to grasp the concept, people who think because they were born with white skin, they are somehow superior to all others is more than a little disappointing, to say the least | ||||
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| Wednesday, November 23, 2005, 8:01:37 AM- looks are deceptive | ||||
My personal trainer is a really pretty woman with a figure like Butterfly but she is 40, she speaks so nicely to me, smiles at me but I can only conclude she is a sadist. Her name is Tina (the Torturer) and for the one hour session I feel like an absolute blubbering wreck, my legs feel like jelly (45 squats, chin up, chest out), 2x15 min on treadmill, 2x15 on the pedalling machine, then 45 pulling the handlebars down to the chest with 25lbs then 45 dragging the bar thing from the shoulder to the front and in between walking up and down to cool down. Is it an acquired thing that women can smile at you and all the time make you suffer for some obscure perceived wrong that another male has done in a past life? Does it take training for a woman to smile so sweetly and inwardly think "I'm going to stick it right up this smug, overweight bastard". I am not dead yet, because I haven't heard the death rattles but I don't feel far away and I don't need to go to the gym until tomorrow, without Tina. I feel very disillusioned, I always thought a kind sexy smile meant "I like you" how come it has taken 66 years to find out the truth. | ||||
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| Tuesday, November 22, 2005, 8:57:35 AM- an ultrasound | ||||
Why is it that when you go for an Ultrasound first thing in the morning, they seem to get it out of the refridgerator. I had one done on my nuts on Monday (Yesterday) and I almost got frostbite! God it was cold and the girl operator had a little towel and when I asked what that was for, she said some men like it for modesty - while she is scanning my nuts!! I said you may like to cover my tits, that is all that is left and they were bigger than her fried eggs anyway. So the upshot is that I hava a Hydracele in the left nut, I have had the right done three years ago and kept lifting a heavy floor sanding machine which causes a build up of fluid around the nut. I would have given a fortune when I was a kid to have big nuts and have a constant pain there. I would have been the hero of my Catholic College I went to. Insurance covers all my accounts, but I will miss the chat room on 8 December which will totally piss me off; I will probably miss Hornygal getting ripped off by some inconsiderate arsehole!! I won't need anymore sad days, I will gladly give it up for a couple of nights | ||||
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| Monday, November 21, 2005, 11:18:32 PM- jJuicy don't read this | ||
My wife woke me this morning at 4am when we heard a helicopter going over (there was a fire at the woodfire pizza place in the main street and 5 people were rescued and flown to hospital) and i lay awake thinking about all sorts of things, like I reconditioned the motor in my 4WD at 370,000 km and my mind moved to my cock, as you would, and if the average cock is say 6inches and the average strokes is say, 70 for every fuck, that is 35 feet times maybe twice a day is 70 feet a day, so howmany miles would a cock travel in a lifetime ? why don't mens cocks need reconditioning? Is it the excellent lubrication from the pussy that lowers the friction and reduces the wear? At 66 my cock usually watches me polish my shoes but he has dome a lot of miles, in Sydney when I was a boy, in New Guinea when a young man, then 36 years of marriage, the poor thing is almost out to pasture! Do girls get rereamed? I knew some girls I used to screw that you needed a plank of wood tied to your ankles as a last resort with H E L P written on the soles of the feet, just in case. The things you think of when you can't sleep!! | ||
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| Monday, November 21, 2005, 1:26:24 PM- my personal trainer | ||||
everyday I get assaulted by my personal trainer, well actually twice a week but it carries over to the whole week. Her name is Tina the Torturer and aptly named. when I have done 13 or 14 press ups, she says she can't count and says that is 6,7 shit that annoys me. Yesterday my legs felt like they were falling off and that was only weights, today I have cardio. I get bored shitless on the treadmill for 15 mins then pedals for 10 I know I will look like a little Ethiopian before Christmas. I was aked what I wanted for Christmas I felt like saying a good root and a cold beer, before Tina makes me disappear. | ||||
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