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 First |  Previous | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | Next  | Last  | Page 34 of 35 |
| Friday, December 7, 2012, 4:03:08 AM- | ||||
Last nite while sitting on the couch with wife I said I love you,,she asked is that you or the whiskey talking I told her it was me talking to the whiskey I should be able to see out of right eye by Saturday | ||||
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| Thursday, December 6, 2012, 3:04:39 PM- | ||||
I was walkin down street 1 foot on sidewalk 1 on street 1 on sidewalk 1 on street. Cop says, You're drunk. I told him, Oh thank God,I thought I was crippled Bond was 500 for PI | ||||
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| Wednesday, December 5, 2012, 12:17:05 PM- | ||||
Was in bed with wife,told her i was going to make her the happiest woman in the world, She said im going to miss you | ||||
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| Monday, December 3, 2012, 7:21:29 PM- | ||||
went partying last nite,,had fun saw some boobs saw 1 set wish i hadn't,,will carry bleach in eye drops from now on but than guess thats what i get for trying to pick women up at old folks home | ||||
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| Sunday, December 2, 2012, 4:27:27 PM- | ||||
1,A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge say,s "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started." 2,What do a pregnant woman, frozen beer, and burned pizza have in common? In all cases there is a man who forgot to take it out quick enough. | ||||
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| Friday, November 30, 2012, 5:54:14 PM- | ||||
you can tell by a womans feet if she likes you if they are behind her ears,,she likes you | ||||
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| Friday, November 30, 2012, 5:01:11 PM- | ||||
women don't dress to impress men, they dress to out dress other women, if they were trying to impress men, they'd run around naked | ||||
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| Thursday, November 29, 2012, 7:52:21 PM- | ||||
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| Thursday, November 29, 2012, 5:41:06 PM- | ||||
got pulled over for speeding,cop asked why i was speeding told him i was trying to stay up with the traffic he said what traffic there isn't any told him thats why I was speeding trying to catch up court date in 10 days | ||||
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| Wednesday, November 28, 2012, 6:31:19 PM- | ||||
.You're riding a zebra, there's a pink elephant in front of u, and a walrus is chasing u. what do u do? get your drunk butt off the merry go round. | ||||
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