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Page 34 of 35

Friday, December 7, 2012, 4:03:08 AM-

Last nite while sitting on the couch with wife
I said I love you,,she asked is that you or the whiskey talking
I told her it was me talking to the whiskey

I should be able to see out of right eye by Saturday

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"you kill me!" - tight_wet_lips

Thursday, December 6, 2012, 3:04:39 PM-

I was walkin down street 1 foot on sidewalk 1 on street 1 on sidewalk 1 on street. Cop says, You're drunk. I told him, Oh thank God,I thought I was crippled

Bond was 500 for PI

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Most Recent Comment:	"lol...." - tight_wet_lips

Wednesday, December 5, 2012, 12:17:05 PM-

Was in bed with wife,told her i was going to make her the happiest woman in the world,
She said im going to miss you

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Most Recent Comment:	"lol love it" - Ley-dd

Monday, December 3, 2012, 7:21:29 PM-

went partying last nite,,had fun saw some boobs saw 1 set wish i hadn't,,will carry bleach in eye drops from now on

but than guess thats what i get for trying to pick women up at old folks home

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"so thats the one u work at ,damitt never get a break" - hd85

Sunday, December 2, 2012, 4:27:27 PM-

1,A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge say,s "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."

2,What do a pregnant woman, frozen beer, and burned pizza have in common? In all cases there is a man who forgot to take it out quick enough.

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Most Recent Comment:	"haa haa good ones hd ;)" - Northern Star

Friday, November 30, 2012, 5:54:14 PM-

you can tell by a womans feet if she likes you

if they are behind her ears,,she likes you

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Most Recent Comment:	"Ahhh ty - good to know" - gpflem

Friday, November 30, 2012, 5:01:11 PM-

women don't dress to impress men,
they dress to out dress other women,
if they were trying to impress men,
they'd run around naked

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"women can be sexier sometimes dressed,,depends on the ways she dressed " - hd85

Thursday, November 29, 2012, 7:52:21 PM-

Viewers Comments (4):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"that is brilliant .... :)" - Safire13

Thursday, November 29, 2012, 5:41:06 PM-

got pulled over for speeding,cop asked why i was speeding
told him i was trying to stay up with the traffic
he said what traffic there isn't any
told him thats why I was speeding trying to catch up

court date in 10 days

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Most Recent Comment:	"serious?" - tight_wet_lips

Wednesday, November 28, 2012, 6:31:19 PM-

.You're riding a zebra, there's a pink elephant in front of u, and a walrus is chasing u. what do u do? get your drunk butt off the merry go round.

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Most Recent Comment:	"lol" - Northern Star