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Viewing Member - deathrod

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Saturday, June 4, 2011, 4:27:11 AM- Starter shot

One day a guy with premature ejaculation problems went to a doctor. The doctor said, 'Whenever you feel the urge to ejaculate, startle yourself.' So he went out and bought a starter pistol. Luckily, when he got home his wife was already naked in bed, ready for him, so they got in the 69 position and started in. Soon he felt the urge to shoot his load, so he fired the pistol. The next day he went to the doctor. The doctor asked him how it went. He said, 'Not too good. My wife bit off three inches of my dick, shit in my face, and my neighbor came out of the closet naked with his hands up.'

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Saturday, June 4, 2011, 4:21:46 AM- Black Testicles

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?' Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.' He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?' Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!' The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, 'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely......

' A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ? '

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Saturday, June 4, 2011, 4:12:54 AM- Found on the Refrigerator One Morning

My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.. Please don't be upset -I shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

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Most Recent Comment:	"Brilliant xx" - Tara30

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