you know it's a serious relationship when I stop showing my box to strangers on the internet before he even asks me to.

for now, my friends, my box is just for the two of us.

if you know me, you know I am not always the most budget-friendly type of girl. I have good credit and a stable, good paying job, and am chipping away at my student loans little by little. but I have this pesky habit of dropping hundreds of dollars in one online shopping session. usually they are things I don't need, like crayons, or vintage manual cameras. last months I spent at least 10% of my paycheque on books -- poetry, non-fiction/history and four Stephen King novels, three of which I've actually already read. this month, that ten percent went to shoes.

and of course, there's always the ever-growing toybox.

the toybox has expanded from its lowly boxy origins to take up a few drawers of a dresser. however, one of the drawers broke, and now another one is about to fall apart as well. how disturbing! I have been thinking of upgrading to a bigger box, or perhaps even a chest. there's a closet in my spare room that I don't use, so I've been thinking about installing some shelves and making a Toy Closet.

I am gonna have to get cracking because I have these new additions coming soon from Tantus's closeout section:
- Ease [url]http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=EASECLO&Category_Code=CI[/url]
- Paisley [url]http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=PAISSCLO&Category_Code=CI[/url]
- Techno [url]http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=TECCLO&Category_Code=CI[/url]
- Beginner Beads [url]http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=BEGBDCLO&Category_Code=CI[/url]
- Advanced Beads [url]http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=ADVBDCLO&Category_Code=CI[/url]
- Basic [url]http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=BASIC&Category_Code=CI[/url]
- Tulip [url]http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=TULCLO&Category_Code=CI[/url]

as you can see, I'm kind of in an anal mood lately.

I contemplated buying the Mr Universe, but I am not quite at that level of expertise yet, and I doubt I ever will be. I will leave that to KirkJ.
[url]http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=MRUNICLO&Category_Code=CI[/url]

anal play can be fun. I don't do it with a lot of partners though. this new guy, KG, seems worthy of my ass, but he also has a really thick cock with a big head. so I am going to have to try a little harder to "prepare". now I thought I had a pretty impressive toy collection, but I really don't have that many anal toys and most of those I do have are cheap butt plugs made of mystery jelly and can only be used with a condom so that I don't get festering ass cancer. I decided to invest in some higher quality silicone, and gleefully discovered a whooooole bunch of stuff on sale at tantusinc.com.

there were a couple of plugs and vibes I wasn't sure about, as I
figured they might be pretty similar to toys I already have. so I turned to my trusty friend the internet for guidance. I began googling certain toys in hopes that I would find reviews. and I did. I also found edenfantasys.com which is currently blowing my mind. but most amazing is this:

[url]http://viewfromthefloor.com/my-toybox/[/url]

if there is a more complete and stupendous toybox out there, I have not found it. this chick has EVERYTHING. thanks to her I was introduced to toys I never would have even dreamed of.
but mostly I am so goddamned jealous.
like, how would you even store all of these toys??? you'd have to have an entire room for them. maybe a guest house next to the pool with separate rooms for the biggest ones or something. like oh my jesus. and what kind of financial investment is that!? I understand that she probably gets them free as a reviewer, but it would cost thousands of dollars for me to replicate that. most likely a year's salary. holy jebus crispy.

I think I am gonna have to stop buying books. who reads these days!!! plus I'm still working on Under The Dome, and at this rate it's gonna last me another couple days. silicone and glass toys, on the other hand, last a lifetime!

but I got too distracted by all the forum trolls. lots of lulz.

I wanted to share this: http://www.yourtango.com/20087725/how-to-kiss-well
kisses make my heart smile.

oh, and tell you that the dude I'm seeing called me "the one" today.
it's because we spent nine hours talking on the phone the other day and at least an hour of that was spent watching clips of Belladonna doing anal on pornhub, at my suggestion. apparently that makes me the perfect woman for him!

August 3rd is now forever Uterus Day in my life. I finally got my copper IUD implanted. the male doctor has been doing them since the 70s and is not only very experienced, but is also very excited about them. he even wrote out the chemistry formula of what happens when copper and silver oxidize in my cunt now (they kill sperm! whaaaat) and also drew me a picture of what happens if I were to get pregnant with an IUD still inside me.

he also threw out some statistics that I didn't know. I have a 0.4% chance of getting pregnant in the first year, which rises to 2% after three years. in the meantime, withdrawal has a 25% failure rate and condoms have a 6-7% failure rate. when he said that I thought he was saying SIXTY SEVEN and brought it up. he clarified, then went on to say, "in a perfect world, they would be 100% effective but you know, things happen, and penises leak."

HEY GUYS, PENISES LEAK.

my other favourite quote from him was concerning withdrawal:
"sometimes you don't think you're going to cum. but then you do!"
keep in mind this guy's in his 60s.

I had a bit of an audience as there was a med student present who wanted to watch. he called her over to tell her what a healthy uterus I have. I was like "damn right!" I also learned that it is small, hard and antiverted... who knew? anyway, they had to poke and prod at me a bit before actually getting it in. there were a bunch of tools involved but I took it like a true champion.

the actual insertion just felt like a cramp but about five minutes after I got dressed and took off, I started to feel like I was going to pass out and my uterus was going to fall out. I stumbled home and changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt because I was having chills, despite it being a hot day. I convinced a friend to bring me a couple cans of diet root beer because, I dunno, it just seemed like a good idea at the time.

I then talked on the phone to KG and went to take a "short nap" which ended up being like 7 hours! I felt a lot better when I woke up, even though my belly is all swollen now and I still feel crampy and sort of disgruntled.

but you know, it is all worth it. I'm protected against babies for the next ten years, and since KG and I have both been tested for everything, I have the green light to totally immerse myself in semen whenever I want.
think about it!
creampies all the time! him cumming all over my pussy lips then massaging it in. I can get cum all over my hands from a wonderful and explosive blowjob and then rub my clit and finger my pussy to ecstasy with nary a worry. being filled up with his hot cum, feeling him tense and twitch and strain as his balls empty deep into me. sloppy seconds. there are so many messy and exciting things I can't wait to do as soon as I get ahold of KG's cock.

because, as we all know, penises leak.

again, a perfect day, created by this man. the lake, a raft out in the water, in the sun, watching the clouds come in and threaten us with darkness and thunder. another picnic, this time atkins-friendly, all cheeses and grapes and different meats. then, a seafood feast -- halibut, scallops, crab. dessert was three thorough, deep fuckings in the span of four hours.

the sex is good but I am starting to know that he wants all of me, not just my pussy. not just my tits, my pierced nipples in his mouth, my cunt lips twitching under his fingers. he wants to get as deep into me as he can -- soul deep -- and take me apart from the inside out and eat of me. ever so slowly.

in some ways he is not the man I ever dreamed I'd be with -- he doesn't read, he won't don fishnet stockings or let me fuck his ass or put his cock and balls in a cage till I see fit to let them out. he is an ultra MAN -- think decorating with engine blocks and car bumpers. but in some ways that is very good. in some ways not being the aggressor is very soothing.

last night we spoke on the phone for three hours and at one point I was splayed naked on my couch in front of the huge bay windows that look out on the town, open for anyone walking by to see. I had one hand furiously working my clit and the other with three fingers knuckle-deep in my cunt as he described in his low measured voice exactly what he would do to my pussy and I could do no more than whimper.

after I came and lay there, one hand still half inside my cunt, breathing heavily, he told me how he imagined me being there with him under the full moon, enjoying the clear night, my face in his hands, our eyes locked together before we kiss, and imagined himself tasting of my soul. and it is that part I'm just a little scared and excited about.

my cunt is endlessly wet, endlessly open, endlessly hot, endlessly hungry -- you can eat all of it that you want. the rest of me is in short supply and I am scared to give of it.

so it was a long drive back to my house, and all I could think about was his gorgeous cock and how it would feel if he pounded me that night. I had already decided I would let him sleep over and wouldn't let him get away with merely sleeping. so as soon as we returned, we both showered. he went first and when I toweled off and came back to my room, he was lying naked on my bed slowly stroking his cock.

now picture this: a well-built man with broad shoulders and long muscular arms and big soft hands, a perfectly straight thick and dark mat of smooth soft chest hair, lying on my bed, stroking a thick 7" cock... after I hadn't been fucked in four months... well, I could feel my pussy instantly becoming wet and slippery again.

I was content to just lie next to him and watch him stroke it for a few minutes, but eventually I couldn't help myself and straddled him. I slid my wet pussy back and forth, allowing his cock head to dip in every so often. he groaned each time and tried to thrust upward, but I wouldn't let him. finally he grabbed my hips and pushed me down so he was all the way inside me, filling my pussy up and stretching it out.

and thus commenced the most primal and amazing fucking I've had in a good long time. he tried to hold out but I wanted to see his cum and feel him spasming inside me, so I begged him to cum for me. afterward he sat with his head between my legs and gave me an amazing finger fucking, at first slowly stroking my clit with two fingers, then slapping it lightly, running his fingers up and down my slit, then every so often shoving them in up to the knuckle. when I finally came I came so hard all over his fingers.

at this point I was feeling amazing but and after we finished he did it again... we were about to go to sleep and he began spooning me. I could feel his rigid cock against my ass... he ran his hands over me for a few moments before he lifted my leg and just shoved it in... after a few minutes of fucking me like that he turned me over and fucked me hard from behind. I had to grab a pillow to bite and scream into so I wouldn't wake the people upstairs.

the next morning we fucked twice more, with breakfast in between... he finally left that afternoon and as he gave me a goodbye kiss by the door he grabbed my nipple hard with one hand and started slapping my pussy with the other! it made me so hot. I grabbed his hips and pulled him close with my tongue in his mouth, grinding against him, but he pulled away and said he had to leave.

for the last week I've been thinking about it and getting so hot. and tomorrow I get to see him again... I can't wait.

oh hey naked people, how are you? I am fine, just came back from another week traipsing about the North Country and spending too much money. as I was sharing a room (and sometimes a bed) with my coworker, I didn't have much privacy and didn't get a chance to look at NN at all. and no, I didn't hook up with him. but perhaps that's for the best.

someone commented on the last entry asking about whether I ended up giving my suitor a scenic blowjob. the answer is a triumphant and emphatic YES, but things didn't come about quite the way I had planned. though in retrospect they actually worked out better.

my suitor, who we'll call KG, showed up on Sunday with freshly cut hair, a freshly detailed truck, and a picnic pack full of fresh fruit (a commodity in my town), vegetable, cheeses, meat, bread, butter and wine. WINE! it looked delicious, and so did he. we had an amazing and delicious meal and then drove around as I pointed out scenic things of interest.

however, being demure and modest, and not wanting to let on that I wanted to fuck his brains out, I had told KG that if he wanted to stay the night he would have to get a hotel room. just in case the date went awry, I didn't want to offer my place as somewhere to stay or show him where I lived.

he did end up staying at a hotel and we met for breakfast the next morning. however, all the restaurants in town were closed so we decided to drive to a town that was two hours away to see if there was anything available. on the way we passed a sign pointing to a dirt road, with the name of a town we had heard of and knew was abandoned. we looked at each other and both agreed we wanted to go.

so we drove on and on through the woods before getting to a random fence blocking the rest of the road. it was a pretty steep and winding road going down the mountain and I knew it would suck to walk back up, but we decided to leave the car there and walk down anyway. I must admit that first of all I was wearing sandals (date shoes, not hiking shoes!) and was also paranoid about getting eaten by bears or trapped somewhere with all our water and food in the car way far up the hill.

BUT!!! we ended up finding the abandoned town! PM me if you want the name of it. creepily, it has been empty since the 80s but all the buildings have been maintained by caretakers for the last thirty years. we have both been excited to go but I was told the road was treacherous and we were also told we wouldn't be allowed inside. I guess luck was on our side though, since not only did we get there without incident, but we managed to get the caretakers to let us walk around, which was really exciting and creepy. think The Hills Have Eyes except with less mutant cannibals.

so we ended up meandering down to the dock and lying on it to soak up the sun. it was a perfect afternoon, warm and sunny but breezy and dead quiet except for the seal mum and pup frolicking in the water not far from the dock. after talking about our feelings (aww!) he leaned in for the kiss. his lips felt amazing and, since I love to make out, I immediately got right into it.

it didn't take long till we were locked together, lying on our sides with our bodies pressed against each other. my pussy was so wet and hot from listening to his moans, tasting him and smelling him. he started squeezing and stroking my tits and then reached down to rub my pussy through my jeans which only made me moan louder. I straddled him and started licking and kissing his neck and ears while he thrusted up against me, telling me he wanted me.

I could feel a huge bulge in his pants as I was kissing him, and being me, I couldn't contain my curiosity. I reached down and grabbed it through his pants. it felt HUGE. I asked, "can I see it?" and he told me to do whatever I wanted. so I unzipped his pants and pulled out the most delicious cock I've ever seen. it was just so beautifully shaped, and since it was swollen and hard it felt huge and heavy in my hand. nice and thick, long but not too long (maybe 7" and uncircumcised, the way I like them, but with a nice big cock head.

so at this point my pussy is sopping wet, but I have no condoms, and I have this gorgeous cock in my hand and we're on a dock in the middle of nowhere with no one around. so of course I put the head in my mouth and start swirling my tongue around it. his shaft was pretty thick so I was worried about not being able to fit all of it in my relatively small mouth. but I just went slow, lavishing lots of attention on his head while I stroked his shaft.

with each stroke I slipped it deeper and deeper into my mouth and eventually was able to get all but the last two inches in. I can't deep throat unfortunately, so my mouth was literally stuffed with cock! he was making appreciative noises, which always makes me hot... I like seeing and hearing a guy get off, so I used my other hand to open my pants and started fingering my pussy while I blew him.

eventually he couldn't take it anymore and blew his load into my mouth. he just kept cumming and cumming while jamming his cock as far into my mouth as he could, so I almost choked but managed to swallow it all. then I kissed him... without tongue, heh... and we spent a while just lying in the sun, both of us with our pants undone. soaking up the light and the warmth and happy hormones from each other's bodies.

but eventually we noticed the shadows getting longer so we zipped up, and started walking back up the hill. on the way we passed a large house with a second floor balcony overlooking the water. we saw two older men with tattoos drinking beer and watching us. we figured they must be some of the caretakers who live on site. we walked closer to ask them some questions, and then I realized that they had a perfectly clear side view of the dock from their elevated balcony. from the way they were both smirking at me, I figure they had seen absolutely everything!

but we figured that was the most excitement that town had seen in 30 years... so we didn't mind.

to be continued!

so that guy I met who lives four hours away?

he's making the drive just to see me tomorrow.

hypothetically I could be getting laid for the first time in four months... and my helpful friend at work says that, if he's making the drive all the way here, he's probably "expecting something".

so imagine my displeasure when I woke up this morning to discover VAGINA PROBLEMS.

oh, and did I mention I live three hours away from the nearest pharmacy?

fuck you, vagina. unfortunately not literally.

so maybe this will all culminate in a scenic blowjob with a view of one of North America's largest glaciers... who knows.


in other news, I can fit back into my beloved black jeans again! and they're loose! even though I'm not as pretty as about 95% of the people in Vancouver, I still feel like hot shit today.

I had a dream the other night in which I had a girlfriend, and there was much munching of carpets going on.

I haven't licked a girl's pussy for seven years!!! that is a lot of years, my friends. I've dated girls since then, as in been on dates, kissed them, been stalked by them, used by them to make their boyfriends jealous, and even been licked by a couple, but haven't been able to bury my face in wet lips or even touch a nipple! in the better part of a decade.

this is depressing, and makes me feel like I've lost my "bi" street cred.

to my credit, I have tried. just a few weeks ago at that bar night? when I was wearing a wig and drinking with my coworkers? we went to the town's only bar and I tried to hit on a cute girl from New Zealand, but gave up when she told me, "the only thing I miss about home is my man."

being the champion that I am, I set my sights on the most inappropriate target ever: my married female coworker who was looking extra delicious. she has nice wide hips, a round ass, big tits, big blue eyes and long curly hair.
earlier that night, ostensibly in a tipsy haze, she had started telling me about her promiscuous past and about the fact that she had had threesomes and was trying to arrange a MFM with her husband. I didn't share as much about myself but I did say some things I am sort of regretting... though she claims to not remember anything anyway.

her sober husband stopped by and started buying us both drinks. as she continued to play pool I went up to her husband and said, "I want to have a threesome with you and your wife. make it happen," and walked away. shortly thereafter he convinced her to leave the bar and drove us both to his house... where she promptly passed out on the couch! disappointed, he drove me to my place but then grabbed my hand and put it on his cock. I could feel it through his pants, hard and straining against the fabric.

but I demurred from fucking him without his wife present.
actually I think my exact words were "sorry buddy" and I got out of the car and walked to my house.

I wrote myself a note in bright teal Sharpie about the events of the evening, but then when I woke up I could only decipher "NZ" out of it.

since then I have tried to catch the eye of some hot dykes in Vancouver but apparently I am not as appealing as I once was.

a friend did invite me to the apartment she shares with her partner, to spend pride with her. the Vancouver pride parade sounds like it will be quite the event; Cirque Du Soleil is part of it! but alas, I am saving to buy a new car, a purebred dog, new furniture and possibly (maybe?) a house within the next year. as much as I want to be part of a big gay festival, I am trying to think with my head and not my vag for once.

so what to do about my pussy craving? there is absolutely none of it to be had here where I live. the best I can possibly do is cross my fingers, wish on a star that the Poontang Fairy will bring me the unlikely gift of a carload of lesbian tourists to my little town, and in the meantime make good use of my premium membership here...

why hello there!

I am finally back from spending three weeks in civilization. I returned home to isolation with pierced nipples, new cds (including Lady Gaga: The Remix, so I'm having a fabulous dance party in my house right now), a haircut, a ridiculous amount of new clothes and shoes and makeup and perfume and accessories, a camera tripod, and a tan. so I am ready to take some pics, theoretically. but I am still pretty tired from all the travel yesterday so instead I am chilling and trying to avoid doing laundry.

each day I was surrounded by dozens of strapping police and military men, OH MY GOODNESS. eye candy galore. we went out to Vancouver each weekend, and the city is full of beautiful, unique, absolutely perfect looking and intriguing people. I missed being surrounded by so much visual stimulation, though the sheer numbers were slightly overwhelming at first. I thought I would gain weight because of all the restaurant eating and ridiculous drinking we did. but I may have actually lost a couple pounds, possibly from eating seafood every single day. I was with friends for the majority of the three weeks, so we had a lot of fun.

in other news, here is what my boobs look like today: