OK I've writhen a few blogs and only got a couple of comments, is anyone reading them or are they just shit and I shouldn't bother?

Why is it that when ever you have a damn flat tyre it's either at night or raining or both or you in a damn hurry and haven't the time for this SHIT lol

Wilma and her husband Barney go to church every Sunday, and during the service Barney falls asleep. One afternoon Wilma goes to the priest and asks what she can do. The priest hands her a needle and tells her to prick him with it everytime he falls asleep.
The next week at church Barney falls asleep while the priest is talking and when the priest asks who is our savior? Wilma pokes him with the needle and he yells out JESUS!!Soon after that he goes back to sleep. The next question the priest asks is: Who is Jesus's Father? Wilma pokes him with the needle and Barney yells out GOD!!and goes back to sleep. The last question the priest asks is what did Eve say to Adam after he impregnated her for the 99th time? Wilma pricks him with the needle again and he yellsF YOU POKE THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex.

"It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Clem recalled.

"That sounds wonderful," said Jed.

"Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us."

"Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?"

"Baaaaa..."

Two Tampons Were Crossing The Street. They See A Friend. Which One Waves?

Neither, They Are Both Stuck Up Cunts

A very tall beautiful elegant woman was doing some photocopying in her office when a male colleague walked by, he stopped briefly and said, "Your hair smells nice today". The woman immediately went to her boss and made a complaint of sexual harassment. As her boss read her statement he said, "He said your hair smelled nice, surely that's just a compliment?", "A compliment", she said "The man's a fucking midget!!!".

Don't make a woman mad !!

A West Australian Cowboy's wife came home just in
time to find her husband in bed with another woman.
With super-human strength, borne of fury and cutting calves, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed out back of the barn.
She put his penis in a vice, and then secured it tightly
and removed the handle. Next she picked up an old carpenter's saw.
The banged up Cowboy was terrified, and hollered, "Stop! Stop!
You're not going to cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her
husband's hand and said, "Nope. I'm going to set this old shed on fire,
and go to town for a cold beer. You do whatever you want."

Well it's my Birthday today, Damn I feel an old Git, I have to have a few drinks to kill the pain of getting older lol

Straight guy looking to have fun, hoping you all enjoy my pics