kittenmmm's blog post - One moment is joy, the next heartbreak

Some of you know that about 4 weeks ago I had a baby goat break her leg. Let me tell you about her and where we are now.

Mama's Baby was born on February 1st around 11pm. She was one of triplets born to an elder goat who wasn't supposed to be bred, the buck had other ideas. Her mother, Mama, tried her best but couldn't handle the pregnancy and had the kids prematurely that night. My husband rushed out to the vet's house, over an 1/2 hour away, to get some meds. In the process I lost two of the kids but I saved baby.

Her mother was already down with a condition called pregnancy toxemia. About a week later she died. So Baby was all alone in the world with just me. She was hand raised in my bedroom for 3 months. I fed her her bottles every day, I cleaned her playpen and I provided her with company. As such, she has a wonderful personality but does not think she's a goat.

When she was old enough and eating grain and hay we moved her to the pasture. The thought was nice but she didn't think so. She really didn't want to be with the other goats but with us. So she would break out. She broke out every day, several times a day ... so we gave up. She never went anywhere so we figured no harm done.

Of course as she got used to being her own independent little creature she would roam just a little further. She liked to go to my neighbor's house across the street and eat her magnolia tree. We figured that was ok. She's actually pretty street smart and would run to the side of the road everytime she heard a car.

Well, one day she decided to go into my neighbor's pasture and play with the horses. My nieghbor raises Morgans and the young filly is somewhat tempermental, high strung. She decided to hoof the goat. Baby tried to run and almost made it but on the second strike her leg was broken. It seemed a clean break and the vet came out, cleaned out the open wound, set the bone and wrapped it.

For 10 days we gave her antiobiotics to counter any possible infection. For 3 days I gave her pain meds. She seemed relatively unaffected as soon as she got used to her PVC cast. She hobbled all around, still went across the street (just not in the pasture) and seemed fine. This past week she seemed a little off to me but not enough to warrant concern. The past two nights she's been up on the porch, crying to come in. This struck me as odd but knowing the vet was scheduled to come today I figured I would bring it up then. I had noticed a pressure sore on her good hip and figured maybe she was just uncomfortable with the heat and the sore.

Well, the vet came today. We sedated her and took the wrap off. Her leg was badly infected and the bone seemed to have no healing at all. The vet guesses that a secondary infection set in or that the bone wasn't as clean a break as we thought. As much as I think practically I should have had her put down at that point, I just couldn't do it. So I gave the goat to the vet and he's bringing home and to the office tomorrow to amputate the leg just above the break. There's some heat a bit over the break so she may have to have it amputated from the hip.

I have no idea why I'm doing this. I'm a business owner and I should just look at the bottom line but I can't with her. I've brought many goats through illnesses. I had a kid with goat polio that I saved. I've pulled mis-presented kids out of does during childbirth to save them. I've bottle raised other goats. I've sat through the night with goats who had stomach problems. I've lost goats that I've nursed through illnesses. I've lost goats to parasites and birthing. I've even had one slaughtered to eat. And I've never been so emotionally involved. There's just something about her that pulls at my heartstrings.

I suppose there's always one that works its way into your heart. I guess she's my one. So tonight, while my vet is nursing her, I get to sit here and wonder if this will work or if it will just be another thing for to fight through to the next problem. She's a fighter. She lived despite the odds from the get go. Maybe that's why I love her so much. She never complains, she never gives up and she just loves me too. So, tonight, just think of her briefly and maybe offer up a prayer (if you pray) that this next procedure works. And if I'm a bit off tonight...well, you'll know why.