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hapyjacq's blog post

Friday, December 12, 2008, 9:22:09 AM

i've been a mom for years... but i have never had to deal with what i had to tonite...

a teacher passed away at the school of my youngest... he broke down he cried and oh hell i cried too..he want's to know why now... with the holidays... says you are supposed to spend it with family....he's upset with the other kids reactions.. or lack of... he says they (the other kids) don't get that this a person they will now never get to know.....

he's scared that we .... his mom and dad are going to die.... i want him to talk to a grief counsler tomorrow.. he says he doesn't need to...he said talking to me helped...he's not a baby he's 12... but i don't know ... what the fuck do i do??

i told him everthing happens for a reason.. i told him maybe his family wanted his pain/suffering to stop and it couldn't unless he went to sleep forever...i told him i didn't plan on going any where soon....i told him that there were some things that i just can't answer...

and i asked him if he needed/wanted to talk to anyone else... he said no.... i need opinions here....i'm asking for help....

crying.... jacq

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Others Have Said:
kassie...	12-Dec-08 9:43:06 you did all a mum could do, was try and comfort him and be as honest as you can be in this situation sometimes there are just no answers. xxxx sorry i'm not much help.

Northern Star	12-Dec-08 10:53:50 I dont have kids..but ..Id say keep him talking and he`ll work it through..time xxx

imalilhothead	12-Dec-08 12:36:31 I was 17 when my mom died and I went to two different types of counseling..one family and another just "one on one"...it did help...you've done all you can and answered best you know how...12 is very young to deal with a death and maybe some outside help would be a good idea...I'd definately think about it sis xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MN teddybear	12-Dec-08 13:31:32 He needs to talk. Hopefully the school has set up some kind of support for the kids. Usually they do when this happens. xoxox

mdguy	12-Dec-08 15:20:47 I'm sorry, hun. :(

NoSecrets	12-Dec-08 18:53:31 :( Everyone grieves differently, and he is grieving (that's the important part IMO). Being there to listen to him, I'm sure means the world to him. I'd give him some time to process it all, and to grieve his way. If he doesn't seem to be "getting over it" (And boy do I hate that term!) then counseling may be the way to go, but for now just let him grieve his loss. I know as moms we want to fix everything but somethings just can't be fixed and unfortunately grief is one of those things :( I'm so sorry hon! I wish you ALL the best! And if you need to talk I'm always just a PM away. xxxxx

RM Jay	12-Dec-08 19:48:57 Let me just say that you have done a great job. It seems you are raising a man who will have empathy. I think he is grieving, he is talking, and that's good. I dunno if he wants to attend the funeral, but that may be some closure for him on this. Just be there. That's the best thing about mums, they are always there with hugs no matter how old you get.

pawtinker1	16-Dec-08 13:43:40 When I talked to my grandkids(don't have kids of my own) about their great grandpa dieing. I wanted them to understand, even at 2 and 4 years old, that death is all part of life. I told them that we all will die some day, that nobody knows how long we will be on this earth, but we all should try to make the best of the time we are here. That was 15 years ago, and I think they turned out ok. You try to understand him and be there when he needs you, and everything will be just fine.

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