depotguy's blog post - MD reminded me

It is World AIDS day. And I hope for most of you it is something that happens to other people. Most of us might know of someone who has had to live (or die ) with it. But I hope it hasn't touched you too closely.
I think it's strongest effect on me has been survivor guilt. I have a picture of 12 friends from my 21st birthday party and only 3 are still alive. Watching them slowly and painfully waste into oblivion was pure hell. And having a goverment that turmed it's head and pretended it didn't see was hard also. It seemed easy to blame this "gay" disease.
After one particularly hard death (my best friend) I was sitting numbly in his room listening to his mother fight with the doctor about what he would write on the death certificate. She was trying to take away his last moment of truth. As if it wouldn't be AIDS if he didn't write it on the slip of paper. I think a part of me died with each of these friends. So young.

we all have pain. A whole generation of talent died just then.