depotguy's blog post - A message for a friend who will never read it

Hi S.
I was just getting my hair cut, trying to put on another pretty face for the boys of mexico. With my glasses off I thought for a moment I saw you...the bouncy, balls of the feet walk and that same casual swagger. I knew it couldn't of been you, that didn't stop my heart from shifting gears and my mind from racing.
I miss you. I don't know what happened to make this distance between us. I feel like I've been nothing but open and honest. I know you know me too well for me to try otherwise. Well, there are probably other words for it but...I miss you.
I miss the late night vodka tours and the creshendo's. I miss the "did you ever try's" and the drive arounds. I miss the "who do you think lives there?" and the delicate art of getting lost.Most of all I miss being needed,and your warm large embrace.I can't hear that slow southern cadence without a little tear in my heart,that jumble of words that showed your love.
I don't know if I'll be here this time. That 3 am call and another tattered love affair. There never seems to be enough in it for me. I'm like that kid that sits on the bench in basketball, the one they send in when they are so far ahead they can't loose. I just sit, hoping. Picking up the dirty towels and sweeping.
You could talk me out of this feeling with one sentance.
I wish to god I didn't want you to.
Oh well