clittylicker's blog post - Terrorist Threat Levels

New threat levels have been issued world-wide by counter terrorist organisations.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats, and have raised their security level from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon levels may be raised yet again to 'Irritated', or even 'A bit cross''. The English have not been 'A bit cross' since the Blitz of 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-catagorised from 'Tiresome ' to a 'Bloody Nuisance'. The last time the English issued a 'Bloody nuisance' warning was during the fire of London in 1666.

The Scots raised their levels from 'Pissed off', to 'Let's get the bastards'. They don't have any other levels. This is the reason the English have used them as front line troops for more than 300 years.

The French government announced that it had raised its terror levels from 'Run', to 'Hide'. They only have two higher levels which are, 'Surrender', and 'Collaborate'. The rise was due to a recent fire that destroyed the countries only White Flag factory, effectively paralyzing the countries military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened state of alert. Italy announced that they have just gone from 'Shouting loudly, and excitedly', to 'Elaborate military posturing and waving their arms around a lot'. Two more levels remain: 'Ineffective combat operations ', and 'Change sides'

The Gemans also after much discussion are to increase the levels of their security. At present they are at a state of 'Disdainful arrogance', but will be raising it in the near future to, 'Dress in uniform , and sing military songs'. They also have two higher levels, 'Invade a neighbour', and 'Lose'.

The Belgians aren't giving a toss, as their greatest worry would be if the EU ever moved from Brussels.

As for the Spanish they are all excited about the launch of their navy's two newest ships. These beautifuly designed ships have glass bottoms so that the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish Navy.

The Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies : just in case.