amancalledpony's blog post - Puxatony Phail (the irate rodent) returns

Yea, its me again. Puxatony Phail (Punxsutawney Phils cousin). No I am not willingly coming out of my hole after a long winters sleep. Once again I get woke up by being dragged out of my burrow by some friggin’ freak in costume. With a crowd of people that resembled a lynch mob yelling. So the asshole can hold me up by the fur on my neck to predict the weather. I tell you, one of these years I am going unzip the coat. Shock his friggin ass I tell ya. After they hold me up, they read some proclamation. Sounds like it is written by a fourth grader. ‘why that’s not a football’, No it the fat ass of an irate rodent casting his shadow. ME! I saw the friggin Cantore guy hanging around. Maybe we should hold him up by his balls and see him predict if winter continues. Geez’crist, he’s a friggin meteorologist. I’m just a groundhog who hasn’t had his coffee. Then this year they put the Super Bowl on the same day. So I can’t get bitch about this for the whole friggin day. By 3pm, most people are too drunk to care or are throwing up pizza. I am going back to the burrow to get warm. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a latte. Phail