amancalledpony's blog post - A letter from Puxatony Phail (not to be confused with his cousin from Punxsutawney PA)

It is groundhogs day here in the United States. I should be happy right? I'm a groundhog right? Yea, you try having a "day" like this. They don't even have sales in my name. At least put a TV or some womens underwear on sale. NO the sale is for the BIG GAME. The friggin elk still think its a sale for them. So what do humans do, the jerk me out of a good sleep to forecast the friggin weather. Do I look like that weatherwomen who is on at 5am wearing leather? Nope, I'm just a big assed rodent. So how the hell did I become the standard to judge if winter will last six more weeks. Because I'm a big assed rodent thats why. Friggin squirrels are too damn skinny. Winter lasts six more weeks because I see my shadow?. Who the hell thought that up, a bunch of drunk Germans I bet. How the hell am I not supposed to see my shadow?! It's friggin dark out and they have 10 gazillion candlepower of lights on my hole. You see my front paws moving, I not trying to get away, I'm trying to find my god damn sun glasses. Plus it's cold out. At least the lights warm it up to about 200F. What is with their club, Inner Circle. Sounds like a friggin cult to me. Then these idiots are in friggin costumes. Yo, what's up with this? They all look like friggin Abe Lincoln or something from a Dickens nightmares. What, no Elvis' up at that hour, duh. I might be in a better mood with an Elvis singing "come and love me, love me my groundhog". Ah hell, lets get the weatherwoman in the leather skirt to jerk me out of the hole. Yea now we're talking about a reason to get up. Only one who had a worse day then me on Groundhogs Day was Bill Murray. Thank god I only have to go thru this once a friggin year. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a latte. Phail

=================================================================
For you old timers who are sensing deja vu, I wrote something close to this on my previous profile in 2009.