Team Sleep's blog post - UTERUS DAY!

August 3rd is now forever Uterus Day in my life. I finally got my copper IUD implanted. the male doctor has been doing them since the 70s and is not only very experienced, but is also very excited about them. he even wrote out the chemistry formula of what happens when copper and silver oxidize in my cunt now (they kill sperm! whaaaat) and also drew me a picture of what happens if I were to get pregnant with an IUD still inside me.

he also threw out some statistics that I didn't know. I have a 0.4% chance of getting pregnant in the first year, which rises to 2% after three years. in the meantime, withdrawal has a 25% failure rate and condoms have a 6-7% failure rate. when he said that I thought he was saying SIXTY SEVEN and brought it up. he clarified, then went on to say, "in a perfect world, they would be 100% effective but you know, things happen, and penises leak."

HEY GUYS, PENISES LEAK.

my other favourite quote from him was concerning withdrawal:
"sometimes you don't think you're going to cum. but then you do!"
keep in mind this guy's in his 60s.

I had a bit of an audience as there was a med student present who wanted to watch. he called her over to tell her what a healthy uterus I have. I was like "damn right!" I also learned that it is small, hard and antiverted... who knew? anyway, they had to poke and prod at me a bit before actually getting it in. there were a bunch of tools involved but I took it like a true champion.

the actual insertion just felt like a cramp but about five minutes after I got dressed and took off, I started to feel like I was going to pass out and my uterus was going to fall out. I stumbled home and changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt because I was having chills, despite it being a hot day. I convinced a friend to bring me a couple cans of diet root beer because, I dunno, it just seemed like a good idea at the time.

I then talked on the phone to KG and went to take a "short nap" which ended up being like 7 hours! I felt a lot better when I woke up, even though my belly is all swollen now and I still feel crampy and sort of disgruntled.

but you know, it is all worth it. I'm protected against babies for the next ten years, and since KG and I have both been tested for everything, I have the green light to totally immerse myself in semen whenever I want.
think about it!
creampies all the time! him cumming all over my pussy lips then massaging it in. I can get cum all over my hands from a wonderful and explosive blowjob and then rub my clit and finger my pussy to ecstasy with nary a worry. being filled up with his hot cum, feeling him tense and twitch and strain as his balls empty deep into me. sloppy seconds. there are so many messy and exciting things I can't wait to do as soon as I get ahold of KG's cock.

because, as we all know, penises leak.