Team Sleep's blog post - sensuality

the more sex I have, the more I want. however, the longer I go without, the less I crave being stuffed, rammed, or pounded, and the more I appreciate more subtle sensations. last time I went without sex for a while (18 months) I became intensely tuned in to different sensations and textures. it was strange, and in a way excruciating because so many small things became so stimulating. and now, it is happening again.

in my new home, I'm surrounded by some truly magnificent scenery that is constantly changing each day and providing a new feast for the eyes. the weather is beautiful, with the perfect proportion of sun and cloud. I've been riding my bike to work each day and have been blown away by the majestic mountains, the alternately placid and ferocious water of the bay, the encroaching green everywhere, and the occasional bear or moose sighting. the smell and feel of this fresh, untainted mountain air is incredible.

I also love the way my body feels after my bike ride... vigorous exercise in fresh air is another joy I've been missing out on. my skin is hot and damp, but the air is cool and fresh and fragrant. my legs are slightly sore and yet I feel powerful and strong. I'm awake and refreshed without coffee. I feel like my whole body is overjoyed to be moving, even though I'm out of shape.

I've also just moved into my new place -- for the first time in a long while I get to enjoy a queen-sized bed with my favourite 500 thread count sheets and down-filled pillows all to myself. the room temperature is just the way I like it. I am slowly redecorating and making each room pleasing to my eyes. I burn incense and oils to fill each room with a delicious scent. I am filling them up with my collections of books, photos, cameras, and art... oh, and of course, aesthetically and physically pleasing toys. I don't own a tv. I have huge windows and I love the way the sun is constantly filling each large, bright room. and I have my own kitchen for the first time ever, and I am slowly filling and using it, which is immensely satisfying.

but I know you aren't here to read about my boring clothed life. you want to know about sex, about skin on skin. well, for various reasons there is no sex to be had here. but as a result, every touch (or imagined touch) of another's body is electrifying.

a leg pressed firmly up against mine makes my pussy wet. a man, resembling a past lover, touches my wrist with his pinky and makes my entire body tingle for hours afterwards. I look into the eyes of my airplane seatmate, deep blue speckled with green like a photo of the Earth from some distant planet, and wonder at the fearful beauty of the human body. a handshake and a glance linger in my memory for weeks. I gaze at her from across the room, noticing her perfect skin, deep dark eyes, wry smile and taut, tense body and I imagine unwinding her from the inside out. a new friend oozes quiet, pure sexuality with a mere smile. I watch him as he drives, the sunlight on his brow and two-days-unshaven jawline, his eyes narrowed, his head tilted back against the window, downturned lips pursed in contemplation, his hair still creased from the ballcap he discarded, and suddenly want to know him in every possible sense of the word.

these small, slow seductions seep into every day and flavour each moment. even at night, when I'm alone, I make sure to revel in it. I don't reach for the vibrator anymore. instead, I start by running my fingertips over my entire body...

the last person I slept with said to me one night, "you're young and beautiful. you can do whatever you want." young and beautiful perhaps... they're more or less relative. but I do feel that I am undoubtedly awakening into something new and different. the last dry spell resulted in me becoming more self aware, sensual, sexual and confident. like the last dry spell, I'm growing ever more sensitive of so many things around me and inside myself. but unlike the last dry spell, I am exquisitely happy in my little life... and I have so many more fresh days to live it. I can't wait to see what happens next.