Sugarmomma's blog post - A breath of fresh air.

As the mark of our one year anniversary passes, I take a very deep breath of fresh air.

I continue to see a therapist for depression and anxiety to get past the previous five years of what was my life, but it has done me a WORLD of good so far. I still wake with night sweats and terrors,or crying, but I know that no matter what my hillbilly will be there to hold me and help it fade away into nothing. When I was first prescribed medications for depression and anxiety I hated it, I felt that what I had let myself become and who I let myself become over the previous five years was letting my world crash and fall in on top of me, and ruining everything for the rest of my life, however they have begun to help me, they let me wake every day and function. I can now walk out in public and hold my head up and look people in the face and speak with them, rather then look down at me feet as I walk, because I know that I can. I have started retraining myself from being what I was to who I really am, and can be. I don't feel the need to curl up and hide behind something or someone, I am starting to get past feeling like just an object in men's eyes, but an actual person, I'm starting to realize that I am just like anyone else, and have the right just like they to live a life the way I want to. Each day is new, however some of them have been rough, but I continue to push through. I now realize that I can breath, breath in deep and keep on moving, I also realize that just because I was pushed, twisted, and turned, spoke down to, or jilted with false comforts for five years, there are still steps I can take to change how it has changed me, and made me feel. This hasn't been easy nor a joy ride, and sometimes I feel like dropping it all and just screaming at the top of my lungs, what stops me?.. is the thought of ruining all that I have done and went through at an attempt to make my life better, to make the rest of my life better. So this is not just an anniversary of a year being together with howlin, but a milestone mark of doing as needed and talking to my therapist, taking the steps I need to, to turn this shadow into a beacon of light.

So I take a breath of fresh air.

Sug