RockJohnson's blog post - What am I doing?...

Just got home a little while ago. I spent the day with the old friend I mentioned in my last entry. A brief history: She's a lady 12 years my senior. (Age differences mean little to me.) We became friends about 15 years ago, when we worked together. We haven't worked together in about a dozen years, but we've kept in touch, mostly by email, over the years since. About a month after my ex left, I decided to give this lady a call. I wasn't looking for anything other than a friend, and she's very kind and supportive. She lives about an hour away, so I don't get to see her often, but we've gotten together a few times since my ex left. As for my friend, she'd been a single mom for years. Her kids had grown up, and moved out right around the time my ex left me, so she had empty nest syndrome. Our time together seemed to benefit us both. Yes, we had sex a few times. Today was one of those times. She's well aware of my situation, and my feelings for the girl at work. I'm not a total jackass - I'm not not trying to use my friend. Once again, though, we seemed to find some comfort in each other. I asked if she was OK with what we were doing, given my feelings for another. She said everything was fine. Everything isn't fine, though. I always have a good time spending time with my friend (whether we wind up in bed or not), but the emotional attachment isn't there. I drove home tonight wondering if I'd done something wrong, and wishing the other girl weren't at home with her boyfriend...