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| Sunday, April 5, 2009, 12:15:08 AM |
well, cold for me anyways! I'm having a great time with my baby, I missed him so damn much the last few months! but at the same time Im very sad, as sad as Ive never been before.... Yesterday I left my beautiful island for a 10 day vacation with my hunny...but today my beloved sister left our island forever...she moved to Spain with her husband and kids. I hope at some point she will come back on vacation...but that still aint enough for me. You see, she is my best friend in the world, we share a collective memory and a bond that will last a lifetime. I also love her children as if they were my own....so to say that my heart is shred to pieces is an understatement... Never in my life have I been so sad or felt so empty... I know that she will be OK and that moving to Spain was the right decision for her and her family.....but I always imagined us growing old together and when the kinds came I dreamed about watching them grow up....well none of that is gonna happen....they will have a new life, a new marvelous life.....without me. Im mourning. Im mourning the loss of what could have been, the loss of dreams that wont come true....the loss of the purest love Ive ever felt, my niece. Maybe she is too young to remember me the next time I see her....to remember how I loved and cared for her since she was born...so many things run through my mind. Im gonna miss having them around almost every day...and there's nothing that can replace them....its a feeling of emptyness that its gonna take a long time to go away. So please dont tell me that everything is gonna be alright, cause it aint....I just gotta learn a way to accept this and move on, knowing that some dreams will never come true. Kisses for all LUNNA-in a bitter-sweet kinda mood |
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