| Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 6:15:05 AM |
Sometimes life takes a turn and makes you stop and think about things. You realize what is truly important in your life and what things you thought mattered that really don't. Sometimes the things you have to think about you would rather not but running from the thoughts doesn't make the situation go away. Today was one of those days I wish I could run from those thoughts and not look back. For a while now I have been worried about my dad's health. He has been having blood clotting issues which isn't getting any better even with medication. But also he kept getting bronchitis. Well I called him Sunday to talk to him I call him usually two times a week to talk since he is half a country away. He sounded horrible coughing really bad but tried to say nothing was wrong. Well yesterday he sort of fessed up that he has (COPD)chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Tonight he admitted that he also has emphysema. I am upset and worried and feel totally helpless knowing there is nothing I can do to change things. I watched three years ago as my step mom fought the end of these diseases. I now have to watch it all over again. I got him to promise if he gets bad he will call and he knows at that point I jump on the first plane out I can get. After I got off the phone with my dad I called my mom and told her I loved her and then told her that this is the one time I will ever beg you to do anything. Please stop smoking because I cannot do this a third time. After that Bill just was there for me and held me as I cried I am sure I will do a lot more crying before tonight is over I just am at the moment sort of numb. I am just grateful that Bill is in my life because he is my rock and I know I am lucky he is in my life. So to all those that read this remember to tell those you love how you feel. To those I have gotten the pleasure of talking to here as friends I am glad to call you friend and hope that all in you life is happy and full of joy and great friendships. I used to use the following in my signature line and I think it should be a good thing to practice daily: Love unconditionally (and let those you love know it often), laugh as if you have never heard the joke before, and dance like no one is watching! |
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