Fatigue was something that I never suffered with, i was built to just go on and on. Wish it was still like that.

Mum is still in hospital, they have to get her care package sorted out, just to make her last weeks and months as comfortable as possible.

I have been diagnosed with having Stress.

I just keep plodding along.

Not really sure, if this is just going to be part of my coping process or not, blogging was in the past, my journal has taken its place, the only difference is no pictures to add it there , but maybe that will change.

I could have titled this one re union, two people standing on a beach hugging, tears flowing from our eyes.

This evening a rod will be getting cast from the rocks.

My pictures this morning were mainly of birds, except for the sand patterns which are for me, not one Oystercatcher to be seen, unusual that one.

I made a video, just after the sunrise, it was just so peaceful.

I am supposed to do a talk next week, The importance of projects and what it teaches us, Well something along those lines.


The sea was in turmoil when I took this last week, it was fitting for my mood was the same, 2 hrs before, I just found out how ill my Mum was.

I finally hit burnt out point last night, went to my bed just after 7pm and got back up just after 6am, the stress headache was gone as well , after having it for over 3 weeks.

It is a lovely morning here, no sun, but it was only a long vest and jacket morning, when heading into town and what did i buy thermal long johns, but when on sale, stock up, done the same with the long vests the other day, Primark's own brand but for my layering systems throughout the year perfect £6 full price and down too £3 will have another look later when coming home from hospital and see what else they have.
Only other purchase was a M&S doughnut to take too my Mum, when I visit this afternoon.

Tomorrow morning it will be back to beach time.


Last week, sat for a while and waited as the Oystercatcher came along to me, lifted the camera, fire off 3 shots and then a pair of dogs ran in and chased barking there head off, the peace and quiet gone and time to head home.

Someone once said to me having lots of money, you are able to fix anything, thought at the time idiot and well i know, even more now, all it can do is make things a little comfier.

With all that has been going on in my life, taking time of work was the easiest thing, will be a few months till I might go back, more important things to worry about.

I have been a fixer all my life, problem solving, finding the solution, till now.

There is going to be worse days ahead, but eventually, life might get better or just get on with it.

I like the new daily nudle thing, I might keep a couple, but the rest will be given away.

Maybe for the next little while, I will blog more, i really do not know.

I love this tie of year, spring brings hope for brighter days, maybe even a bit warmer days, once that would never have bothered me, but now,, nice 19-20C days feel good.

I seen my first bee in the woods yesterday, flying around the emerging Wood Anemone's , might try and see if I can get my first bee picture soon.


That morning was cold, This local beach has been my place, it has given me so much, not just now, but back to when I was small in life.

Been a while, so many times, a blog has been written and deleted, they are not happy blogs, not got a positive spin to put on this one.

My mum is not well, that is putting it very mildly, she is very ill, she has been in hospital for over a week, my days have just been being there for her, as much as i can be.
She has been not well for a little while, gradually got worst, then it now has got really worse.

No matter how strong a person you think you are, you really are not, it broke me well and truly

This week, I will know, just how much worse it is going to be,

I always say the camera is my saviour, just now it well and truly is, been my walks along the beach that are what i need, many tears have been shared with that beach just now.

It's just life is what she says.


My first macro shot of the year of an insect, that was my win for that day.

Another of the dead flower series, was playing about with the backgrounds, I have a selection and I just play about with them,

So today was another day of the practice run for retirement, funny thing, for the first time in my life, I am not missing it or even gave it much of a thought, I was in yesterday and was told that i will be back working in a month.

Cass and I went fishing today, caught nothing, her great idea, she says said next time she suggests it, I have to say no, we are not going lol. oh yes, we caught nothing in 3 hours.

Tomorrow, having a little day out, going to see, some paintings, that someone we know is going to exhibit them, she had 18, but she has to only show 15 in the space, then they get shipped off to America.

I was asked if now am I going to try and make money from my photography, nope still not going to happen.

I have my first talk next week, I am the stand in, really had planned not doing them, but will see, will get a nice fish supper before it and then we have a walk along the shore, .

Never meant it to be this long, but just so much going on the last few weeks, then to add to it all, I got laid off from work for 4 weeks.

I see the next 4 weeks as a practice run for what it will be like when I retire, I think winter is the best time this could have happened with all the dull drab shitty days we get here, this was always going to be the hardest time for me, so yes very much the trial run.

I done my usual thing, went for a walk on Friday morning, processed it all in my mind as I walked, job done. Sat in the coffee shop telling Cass and all she said was guess S better get a box of Tetley Tea bags in

It will not all be plain sailing, I know that but it is just life. With all that I have had to deal with, at my age it is not the worst of things. I am sure, I will write more over the weeks.


I have been taking a few pictures of the seaweed that washes up on the beach, a long term project, a lot of times you walk and find nothing, the one posted is a black and white, not sure about it to be honest.

New log has washed up on the beach, nice place to sit, I often get my journal out and write here, will do so, till a storm comes along and takes it away or someone cuts it up for firewood.

When the offer of lifetime membership popped up yesterday and I never even gave it a thought,, it was like the final sign for me.

I had a moon picture go a bit viral yesterday and it was not to this morning, that i found out when my friend told me, close to 1800 people liking it and reshared over 120 times, pretty crazy, I only even got it, as i was out putting rubbish in the bin and knowing my long lens was on the camera and took 3 shots, for I was also making dinner at the time.

This is blog 20 since I have been leaving them up, each one could have been the last one.

I play by the rules on here, it means that I am pretty limited in what I get from the site now, once I was able to post a picture to myself add it to my blog, so people could see the full image, now you have to be ID verified and even then you have to ask for permission to post my own picture. You see everyday in here people breaking the rules and nothing is ever done about it, seen an another example the other day and for only the third time in all the years, I have been here I questioned why. Maybe I should have used a fake ID to get verified which has been offered to me twice on here, but like I say, I play by the rules. I believe that if I pay for premium by using my credit card, that should be good enough, it is on bigger sites than this and if I wanted too, could post naked pictures without have to do a Face ID.

One of my little villages Christmas Trees, i think it is pretty nice looking, might try and post the other at some point.

Executive decision was made, we were not going to the get together tonight.

My new lens came, not used it yet, will eventually , just one of those days where, I can not be arsed taking a picture, even this morning, my usual time to do so,, never even took the camera with me for the morning stroll at the beach.

Got asked to do another dog picture, as usual what kind was asked, an Airedale Terrier, see this is what happens, word spreads among these oldies, then got asked to do a cat, sorry no allergic to them.