You can see the change in the weather this morning, one report says possible frost and temps to not rise above 6C one day next week, welcome to spring in Ayrshire, to be honest years ago, we could get a frost up to around the middle of May.

One thing I find strange is my days go in very quickly, might have helped with the weather having been so good, I have a few wet days jobs,, that have not been touched, one is just delete so many old pictures from my desktop, I have been back to my old way of deleting as I go, like yesterday, I took 180 ish pictures and was left with 17, from that I worked on 3, deleted 6 more and now sitting at 11.

This acer is looking great just now, with the new growth of the leaves.

I know missed a night , was never going to be everyday anyway. I had an issue getting a picture from Flickr, so now trying getting from my personal album, at least then you can click and see a bigger picture, if it works.

The older I get, the more i forget. I think I have kidded myself on long enough, my Stroke effected a lot more than I let on, I struggle bottom line. Having been made redundant probably made a decision of maybe not working a lot easier. Throw in my eyesight issues as well , but still here and fighting on.

I am struggling with dealing with the loss of my Mum, I knew I would, time is supposed to be a healer, but I still feel the hurt of my little girl after 36yrs, Mum will be exactly the same.

My friends daughter calls me Dad, she has adopted me.

People still presume that Cass and I are a couple, does not help when her family calls me dad and grandpa, especially the little limpet, but she gets away with murder.

So the picture from yesterday, I think clicking on it makes it bigger.

I post a picture in the Nature group each day, it has helped me in what I am going through, same as just writing here.

When you take time to sit and watch, it is amazing the things you see, do you blend into your surroundings, your hearing picks up all the sounds, it can be overpowering at time to the senses, you seem to be drawn in so many ways, then

I sat and stared at the soil in the bit of the garden that I am changing, thinking of all the other things that once was in there and how they shaped a path, I once was part of the world of exhibition showing of vegetables, I won quite a few awards at UK and National level and the things is , I look back and it was like so many other things, when I got too a certain level, I just stopped, the enjoyment, just seems to leave for me.

My step count on my watch is over 18,000, my phone says over 14,000, which one is right, to be honest neither really matter too me, I would go with the lower if , I did have to choose. is that a positive or negative way to see it,

Goodnight, one and all.

First part of the project is all done now, just to decide what is next, got all my tidying up done as well, got a few little slabs to lift, dig the bed over and just sit and stare and see what comes into my mind.

I saw 3 Damselflies, but not one picture, just a tad too cool and a wind.

I had a very nice burger for dinner, glad I never had two.

Short and sweet tonight..

Goodnight

The sky is nice tonight again, but I still can not be bothered with the shooting of the sunset, I thought it have happened, I have been to the coast at sunset and never took a picture, it was nice but, just sitting watching was what was called for.

My friend says, she has noticed a change in me, but she gets it.

I asked her why she has not started painting again, changed the subject there, didn't you lol, then she asked if I would sit for her, let her paint me. I agreed., I always find it fascinating that she draws with a pencil or pen so quick, but paining it so much slower, how one painting will take over a week and many changes, but her pencil is one and done.

She compared it to me, with my camera, how I will take a few pictures to get the one to work with and then till you see them on the screen, I decide where i am going with it.I

I walked in the woods this morning, it was so special, how the light was dancing on the newly emerging leaves, the bird song and stood watching the Roe Buck, around 20ft in front of me, oblivious to the fact, I was there, best part he moved on and meI got that special feeling.

Nearly finished the demolishing work at home, been 3 days so far, from the emptying of the soil the taking down of one half of the wooden bed and I tidy and de nail as I go along. Once, I might have done this in just over a day, but my energy levels are just not there, so I do at pace, I cam manage without hurting myself.

The adapting of life , but still never giving up.


Bluebells from the other night, It takes time for me to get down on the ground and the light I saw, was gne by then, but still took the shot for the blog, added bonus of a Spider hanging out of the one furthest right hand side..

Goodnight all.

It was sandcastle building time this morning, I build them, she destroys, them, one day you will get too old for this, I said, that look and the reply, never. I daydream , but the guard is always up. We ate ice cream.

I worked on my project later in the day, my soil shifting yesterday had no side effects today, but maybe tomorrow funny how it can be like that sometimes.

I was asked, if there is going to be any more books. Not even thought about that, or even had any talk of it. My postcard size prints, sell out and a few have asked, what is next, wish I knew. I did say that 2 pictures are going to be printed in a book, that anyone can buy from Amazon.

Goodnight everyone.

I called another version of this The Conversation.

This is a late one, just noticed we are just after 10-30pm

The title of that picture, is very apt, for today, I had a few conversations, I had to apologise for I was in the wrong, I knew this , a walk on the beach, sitting on the sand and I explained, my head is all over the place. moving maybe 5 ton of soil was a fitting punishment for me, but an area in the garden is getting transformed. I might be sore in the morning, but I did take it all at an easy pace, my days of just bettering in are over.

Keeping busy, it is my way of coping,, got a nice compliment as well.

Goodnight everyone, when the time comes for you.

I have no picture tonight, I just saw how late it is and well, not long in, spent the evening down at the fish pond and I even managed a couple of casts and caught nothing, but was more interested in taking pictures, was trying out an app on the phone slow shutter it is called, lets to able to be creative, to paint with camera, i am marginally better with the camera than a paint brush pencil or crayon, when a 3yr old looks and says that is bad, oh wait she tells me all my pictures are rubbish as well. you really could get your feelings hurt at times.

I actually feel tired tonight, as I write this, was a bit of a sunset and like last night thought about chasing the sunset, but , it just not what I was looking for, to coincide with the tide. Plus, I am more a winter sunset shooter.

Goodnight everyone.

Sitting watching a nice sunset, as I wrote this, I was going to head out, but decided try tomorrow night, might be the wrong choice, but just the way it goes.

I chased butterflies, this afternoon, was my second time out this year, first time, never seen one, this time so different, with good amounts.

This was my actual first shot, a Green Veined butterfly that was photo bombed with a Hoverfly.
But I got my Orange Tip, probably my favourite of them all.

I had a little pain in the hips, but not to bad, done another 14,000 plus today, so that was good.

Goodnight everyone.

Starting to think about the next talk, it is a little while away, was talking about it today, might share something totally new, see what peoples response to it, but end of the day, I just like what I like.

I sat in the cafe, listening to everyone, not really joining in, was really just enjoying my toast and the tea, was in my trance zone, as it was called.

I still just feel so lost.

I walked again tonight, ended up with over 22,000 steps, I am kind of in training, testing to see, how much I will hurt the next day, not looking that good at the moment.

Might try and get out for a wander.. usual stuff really.