Best I have found is actually Role Play. If the wife wants to participate, make a date, have her go to a bar, and pick her up. Dress her up as a maid, and let her take off a garment in every room, I own a Road King, the vibes on a ride gets my partner oozing... her holding you tight as you ride, reaching down with my left hand, squeezing her calf, and up her thigh... you will get turned on too.
Good luck. P.S., I have a fwb, so that can get you up for not only her, but makes you want your partner more too!