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BranMuffin5's Recent Statuses
Sat, 18-Jul-20 2:47 PM (3 years ago)
tip
For the first time in forever I had a sexual-related dream. Sadly it only got about as far as a little necking and light touching. Can't even get any in my own head...
Yeah I had that once but it turned into a nightmare as the woman I was kissing was my Grandmother ? Paging Sigmund Freud
(3 years ago)
happyhumper69 likes this
Well I'm sure she was a very nice woman... I'm sure Freud would have a field day with my brain.
(3 years ago)
old bookworm likes this
Thu, 2-Nov-17 1:57 PM (6 years ago)
tip
You ever see pictures of that one girl (or guy) on your FB or something and just really wish you were single?
Fletcherdogg likes this
I know a couple of them that are single Thai I know would treat me better than my present one for sure. Hurts my feelings sometimes
(6 years ago)
NBI!! haha. I know what you mean. Some pictures just pop up sometimes that make it very unfair for it to be off limits.
(6 years ago)
Fletcherdogg likes this
How the heck are ya?
(6 years ago)
Just stumbling through life as always. How are you?
(6 years ago)
I'm doing ok, starting my first assignment for my second job tomorrow...playing catch up financially...
(6 years ago)
Thu, 5-Oct-17 4:16 PM (6 years ago)
tip
Laying naked in bed really is a wonderful experience. I'd do it more often but this mattress salesman is annoying me with all of the yelling.
PApda and BBWshy88 like this
Thu, 5-Oct-17 4:09 PM (6 years ago)
tip
I hope you know I've always loved you...
Me love you long time
(6 years ago)
I KNEW you felt the same way!! grin
(6 years ago)
Thu, 5-Oct-17 3:54 PM (6 years ago)
tip
Came out of retirement again to wish NN a happy birthday. I see those stains are still on my seat... Guess I'll stand.
NN and happyhumper69 like this
Well, they are YOUR stains. I'm not cleaning them wink.
(6 years ago)
Lovely to see you...and after 15 years there is no chance of getting those stains out!...mwah xxx
(6 years ago)
Maybe I'll just lay a towel down then. Good enough!
(6 years ago)
Allure and PApda like this
But a good magician will make the seat vanish! smile
(6 years ago)
But... they're bolted down. Now I have to do magic... *sighs*
(6 years ago)
Wed, 28-Jun-17 4:05 AM (6 years ago)
tip
I don't dream often at all. But last night was my first sexual dream in probably 5+ years and I wake up 2 seconds after the action starts. My life...
didya cummed inya peejays?
(6 years ago)
Late response, but no, I didn't have a chance by far. It was all talking, then literally 2 seconds of fun.
(6 years ago)
jeebuss .... ya had two seconds ffs .. all that pent-up backlog ya shoulda blown like Mt Etna.
(6 years ago)
maraff likes this
Thar she blows!!
(6 years ago)
Ah sorry,that was Moby Dick, not BranMuffin's dick.
(6 years ago)
Sun, 4-Jun-17 4:09 PM (6 years ago)
tip
I'm not normally one to draw attention to himself but it just might be a special day today. Perhaps the anniversary of the first private part I came through. tongue
kimberly_1229 likes this
lol your Birthday lol
(6 years ago)
BranMuffin5 likes this
Me to! grin Happy birthday!
(6 years ago)
BranMuffin5 likes this
Happy Birthday bran xxxxxx have great day
(6 years ago)
BranMuffin5 likes this
Happy birthday, more a gateway than a private part in my case, and yours I imagine, have a goodly day; )
(6 years ago)
sdredd922 and BranMuffin5 like this
Happy birthday Bran1
(6 years ago)
BranMuffin5 likes this
Sat, 27-May-17 5:33 PM (6 years ago)
tip
Alright... It was fun arguing with everyone and getting everyone upset while accomplishing nothing, but it's time for me to shower and do something more productive. Have fun! Watch out for creeps!
They know who they are. tongue
(6 years ago)
Misspriss likes this
Even though you tend to err on the side of creepy Beta-male ... I still like you bran. grin
(6 years ago)
BranMuffin5 and Misspriss like this
Hi, haven't had a chance to read everything bran but it's you that is sounding upset. Big hugs
(6 years ago)
I'm fine. I normally laugh when people get upset. Not laugh AT them, just at the situation. grin
(6 years ago)
Misspriss and LordRebellion like this
You do have an awesome sense of humour bran - I've always liked that about you.
(6 years ago)
Misspriss and BranMuffin5 like this
Sat, 27-May-17 3:26 PM (6 years ago)
tip
Back to ask these stupid questions: Would you say it's automatically suspicious for an older guy to offer to give a massage to an attractive younger woman whose back really hurts? tongue
Well ... that's what I find creepy b
(6 years ago)
I've done the course, I know what is acceptable and what isn't and would never cross the line.
(6 years ago)
LR, what other course do I have? I'm no alpha. Even if I was, I'd be in last place next to every other guy. tongue
(6 years ago)
yeah i'm not getting into this discussion but just fyi: i have a female friend who has a coworker that goes around offering massages and stuff... behind his back they refer to him as "the old creep".
(6 years ago)
Misspriss and EmuLater like this
That's probably true. I don't run around offering to every lady there. Probably still a creep though... People are vicious! tongue
(6 years ago)
Fri, 19-May-17 4:44 AM (6 years ago)
tip
Wish things would just go smoothly for a good week or two straight. *sighs*
What rock did you come from behind?
(6 years ago)
Chuck came from underneath a rock... Not from behind. Although, now that you mention it?
(6 years ago)
I meant Bran!
(6 years ago)
Identity crisis! You need to be more specific wink
(6 years ago)
Daffodil888 likes this
Well I was answering the status!
(6 years ago)
Mon, 15-May-17 6:06 AM (6 years ago)
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Apparently haven't posted anything since September. Suppose I don't get on here as much as I'd like to anymore...
It's easy to correct that.
(6 years ago)
Artistic likes this
You don't know how easy it is. Maybe it's not so easy! But it probably is... tongue
(6 years ago)
Thu, 29-Sep-16 9:58 PM (7 years ago)
tip
I keep switching between thinking about sex with another woman and "Weird Al's" song Dare to be Stupid. Chance or by design? tongue
BelleLugosi likes this
Haha. Nice!
(7 years ago)
Mon, 15-Aug-16 8:06 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Alright, I'm slightly happier. One of the cute girls is working at my job again. Let the fun begin...
iowawantit likes this
Woo! Enjoy wink
(7 years ago)
BranMuffin5 likes this
As much as I can. tongue
(7 years ago)
MrsFX likes this
Thu, 11-Aug-16 12:10 AM (7 years ago)
tip
Is it sad that some of these BS ads with the pretty girls wanting to suck my dick still make me want to click them? I mean, who knows?? tongue
GottaBeMe likes this
Oppss...*Scams
(7 years ago)
Even your scam ad is a scam! tongue
(7 years ago)
The printer got the title wrong, Bran....just send me the damn money! In small, unmarked bills please.
(7 years ago)
Mark, he's gonna have to send coin for the .99.
(7 years ago)
But, if you act RIGHT NOW, not only will you get his award winning pamphlet, but you will also receive his booklet "How to Pick Up Midget Amish Lesbian Wrestlers" free of charge
(7 years ago)
BranMuffin5 likes this
Wed, 10-Aug-16 6:40 PM (7 years ago)
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Why is it that everytime I get a cute co-worker that actually talks to me fate finds some way to take them away? Not liking you very much, universe...
Oh no xx
(7 years ago)
Oh no indeed! What am I to do?
(7 years ago)
Carry on as usual....
(7 years ago)
Lonely? Dorsn't sound that fun... haha
(7 years ago)
Thu, 4-Aug-16 10:10 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Well, that cute girl from yesterday mentioned liking dick and is now my FB friend. Not saying those two are connected... yet. tongue
If a girl from NN is saying that then surely it must be true for those mortal girls. She did mention guys sending her dick pics. Odd thing to mention to a co-worker.
(7 years ago)
If you're thinking of doing what I think you are, don't do it!
(7 years ago)
I don't know... I think a lot of things. Not all I consider doing.
(7 years ago)
I start to read this status and think Charlie Brown and the little redhead girl. You're ahead of the round headed kid, she talked to you. About dick even!
(7 years ago)
BranMuffin5 likes this
Yeah. I feel like Charlie Brown right now if someone started talking to him about dick. I'd like to think I played it cool, but who knows? Uuugghhh...
(7 years ago)
amancalledpony likes this
Wed, 3-Aug-16 11:35 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Why is it that anytime a girl that's somewhat attractive shows any interest in me, I become obsessed?
It's always nice to feel wanted
(7 years ago)
The mind can make us do crazy things at times smile
(7 years ago)
powermanp3 and BranMuffin5 like this
You're just excitable smile Remember to breathe tongue
(7 years ago)
men fall in love at least three times a daysmile
(7 years ago)
I always somehow think I have a shot too. I probably am excitable, so I'll try to calm down... But she's cute! grin
(7 years ago)
Diluscious likes this
Sun, 17-Jul-16 7:29 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Perving in a church parking lot? Why not?! tongue
*waits for lightning to strike*
(7 years ago)
Artistic likes this
I don't press my luck that far
(7 years ago)
Artistic and happyhumper69 like this
look up and say "just here for the shits n giggles god" lol...and wait for the bolts
(7 years ago)
Agent_K and happyhumper69 like this
Just don't perv the preacher
(7 years ago)
happyhumper69 likes this
Might be able to get away with it if it's a Catholic church.....
(7 years ago)
OldTroubador likes this
Tue, 12-Jul-16 9:47 PM (7 years ago)
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Guess I chose one of the hottest days to go without underwear and work in a factory. Yay...
Hey there Bran. Hope there's a fan? : ) (Sorry... : P)
(7 years ago)
Pants with built in fans ! ... Patent pending !
(7 years ago)
Heya bran smilexox
(7 years ago)
There are a bunch of fans, but I don't always get to stand in front of them. Half the time they're blowing warm air anyhow.
(7 years ago)
Tue, 28-Jun-16 5:38 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Alright, I guess I'm outta here. Maybe I'll eat more kinky ice cream, or maybe I'll jump into the shower. Either way, I won't be missed. See ya!
Jagged_Edges and Boobznbunz like this
bye...ttyl smile
(7 years ago)
Hey ltns! Take care!
(7 years ago)
Tue, 28-Jun-16 3:19 PM (7 years ago)
tip
If you could have anything in your hands right now, what would it be?
I've given you all my available common sense via PM, Bran. : )
(7 years ago)
I know. You're always willing to give me the ol' verbal bitch slap. Honestly, I'm surprised to have only gotten one sexual response to this on NN.
(7 years ago)
That's cause I got more of a chance to get the bacon sandwich. : )
(7 years ago)
We aren't talking about chances here. A magical genie is here to grant your wish. But you got your bacon sandwich... tongue
(7 years ago)
Bipod likes this
something Wild tongue
(7 years ago)
Thu, 23-Jun-16 3:28 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Do women ever trust that guys can just be nice to them anymore, or does it ALWAYS mean they're trying to get in their pants?
shaqila and Bipod like this
"Kindergarten in lock down as didgeridoo mistaken for firearm." Just saw that article.
(7 years ago)
Although at the same time, I did kinda say I was going to pull a co-worker's pants off to check if she had any underwear on... Maybe that doesn't put me in the nice guy club. haha
(7 years ago)
digerydoos make dart blow pipes ya numptylove
(7 years ago)
Dammit Wods....I'm not an expert in blowing things like you are, sir! ; )
(7 years ago)
Duel purpose equipment, making music and gettin them big grasshoppers.
(7 years ago)
Sat, 11-Jun-16 4:34 AM (7 years ago)
tip
Cute girl approached me at work. She wanted to jump in my car and drive to a sleezy motel. I quickly agreed! The motel is where she's living for the moment.
do you meet everyone only at work?
(7 years ago)
Yes, it's true. And yes. Considering I do nothing but work and sleep, I meet most people at work. tongue
(7 years ago)
she would probably willing to do anything to not live day to day in a motel
(7 years ago)
She claimed she was going to pay me, but I have yet to get any payment. This may not be the last time I help her out though!
(7 years ago)
I kind of hate how this sounds like fantasy material but it was pretty tame. Haha
(7 years ago)
Tue, 7-Jun-16 2:46 PM (7 years ago)
tip
It's been months since I worked with Dream Girl, but I just now had my first dream with her in it!
Kinda weird.
(7 years ago)
How lame does that make me if I can't get out of the friend zone in my own dreams? Haha
(7 years ago)
MieleGattina likes this
It happens to the best of us. Friend zone is a bitch
(7 years ago)
Yeah, kelly's been stalking me like that for years now...but I have been stalking her back so it works out well
(7 years ago)
OLDKellybean1983 likes this
Yeah. I stalked her for a while but I'm only getting older. Plus she had the tree outside her window cut down so I have nowhere to sit anymore...
(7 years ago)
Tue, 7-Jun-16 4:29 AM (7 years ago)
tip
How do you feel when people of the opposite sex give you attention at work? Do you assume they're attracted? I chat up some girls at work but I don't want them getting funny ideas.
its all about picking up the signs as to whether its just banter or wanting to take it further wink
(7 years ago)
I can't remember that far back! sad
(7 years ago)
I've not had that kind of attention at work before
(7 years ago)
a lotta relationships start at work
(7 years ago)
Like they'll tip me 30%. You don't shit where you eat I believe is the phrase.
(7 years ago)
MrsFX likes this
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