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stretch's Recent Statuses
Sun, 6-Nov-22 3:17 AM (1 year ago)
tip
Whether you like it or whether you don't, that's the way The Astros do it!
NaughtyHTXCpl likes this
Must have been The Andromeda Strain ! ohmy
(1 year ago)
Sat, 14-Nov-20 8:41 PM (3 years ago)
tip
Okay Emu.
We'll see whether they actually do start giving the over 80's here before Christmas.
(3 years ago)
Projection here are 20,000,000 doses given per month. Population of 330,000,000. If half want it that still takes 8-9 months.
(3 years ago)
A huge undertaking!
(3 years ago)
That is just us. The entire world needs it to fix this problem. Honestly, more people than want it need to get it. Slippery slope but true.
(3 years ago)
I agree with you.
(3 years ago)
Thu, 29-Oct-20 9:14 PM (3 years ago)
tip
A good nice long slow Stretch. It is what the body needs sometimes.
maraff, GottaBeMe, Artistic and Tahca like this
I could use a few nice long slow things....(don't be pervs!)
(3 years ago)
lip2lip likes this
Slow and pevectly precise, carefully picks his words
(3 years ago)
GottaBeMe likes this
Meh
(3 years ago)
We can't help ourselves Gotta. It's in our nature.
(3 years ago)
GottaBeMe likes this
Sun, 24-Nov-19 9:32 PM (4 years ago)
tip
If mr. zipper shows up the gang will all be accounted for.
GottaBeMe likes this
Any minute now.
(4 years ago)
Sun, 10-Nov-19 10:23 PM (4 years ago)
tip
At the risk of sounding like Rodney king....... Can't we all get along?
TopCat57 likes this
You said it once, a bunch of times.
(4 years ago)
War and peas?
(4 years ago)
But he is really annoying LOL
(4 years ago)
we are ave peas in our times
(4 years ago)
in recorded human history there has been less than three hundred days peace. u got a better chance winning the loto whilst riding a shark and struck by lightning
(4 years ago)
Wed, 6-Nov-19 11:02 PM (4 years ago)
tip
How much sausage should one man have to tolerate getting shoved in his face before he becomes the xxxxxxxxx feared by any and all sausages?
happyhumper69 likes this
My typing is shit tonight. Okay, every night.
(4 years ago)
Yeah stretch but thats you sweaty likes a full blown english
(4 years ago)
i blogged about sausage,,, rofl
(4 years ago)
lip2lip likes this
I would of eatin it myself lol
(4 years ago)
as a house warming a friend slipped me some sausage, not very long but wide and rock hard. so i put the bratwurst in my freezer
(4 years ago)
Wed, 23-Jan-19 11:11 PM (5 years ago)
tip
I hope everyone notices that Ol' Uncle Stretch ain't complaining about nothing. No sir, he only says what he is supposed to. Happy happy joy joy.
stretch..usually we have some very nice females here at this time to chat with....
(4 years ago)
Christmas Eve is not for a while yet!
(4 years ago)
The sun don't shine on the same dog's butt every day.
(4 years ago)
Onionheart likes this
Yes indeedy.
(4 years ago)
nothing to see here, nope, just moooove along
(4 years ago)
Thu, 23-Nov-17 12:04 AM (6 years ago)
tip
I was just told I have violated the 3 tequila shot rule. Fuck me to tears.
My cock may be only as big around as a cigarette butt but it is twice as long!!!!
(6 years ago)
You mean my deep throat s.kills aint all that LOL
(6 years ago)
I can't even reach tonsils.
(6 years ago)
Tell me somethang i doan nose wink
(6 years ago)
Got nuthin.
(6 years ago)
Sun, 27-Aug-17 3:15 PM (6 years ago)
tip
Wetter than a wet thing.
His press briefings don't seem that bad anymore.
(6 years ago)
He had much better words than Donnie LOL
(6 years ago)
Donnie should be cnn and not heard. smile
(6 years ago)
DubbleStrubble likes this
Donnie has the bestest words.
(6 years ago)
Bigly ..........
(6 years ago)
Agent_K likes this
Sun, 9-Apr-17 3:22 PM (6 years ago)
tip
Gentlemen, once they are spoilt it is all but over. Proceed with great caution.
My eyes are watering !!
(6 years ago)
DubbleStrubble likes this
Wild donkey, little pony and pro wrestling - thats my report back from quick glance.
(6 years ago)
Pass me that tequila, stretch.
(6 years ago)
You might want to drink the bleach and pour the tequila in your eyes this time.
(6 years ago)
LordRebellion and EmuLater like this
Lmao! You're right - that might be more effective in this situation
(6 years ago)
stretch and EmuLater like this
Fri, 17-Feb-17 1:22 AM (7 years ago)
tip
Now we have photo comments deleted without the poster objecting. Fuck me to tears.
LordRebellion likes this
Does this mean I should fuck you with an onion?
(7 years ago)
Hey LR, seems I can't even talk shit about myself anymore.
(7 years ago)
Ju, you should fuck me however you take a notion.
(7 years ago)
Hello stretch smile smile xxoo..............smile smile..........hug and kotc
(7 years ago)
I have the notion if you have the motion wink
(7 years ago)
Mon, 19-Dec-16 6:00 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Da fuq ewe sae.
Oooh look at you with the fancy phone thingy, you must be a really kool kid tongue
(7 years ago)
Kooler than that,even.
(7 years ago)
I'd say I'm hip and trendy.
(7 years ago)
whale oil beef hooked
(7 years ago)
sofa king clever
(7 years ago)
theroyalcouple likes this
Wed, 14-Sep-16 10:09 PM (7 years ago)
tip
So many echos...............
Thats what one would call an ill windscared
(7 years ago)
or a fisherman's tale wink
(7 years ago)
You know me too well lyn grin
(7 years ago)
load of codswallop wink
(7 years ago)
rubnserved likes this
I admit there was also some fried alligator eaten but it has never produced these type results before.
(7 years ago)
Sun, 3-Jul-16 4:57 PM (7 years ago)
tip
So... I stop off at a couple of camsites every morning just for grins. I recently saw a female who listed a fart on he pricelist. What is the value of a camfart in your books?
Agent_K likes this
For the record, Stretch belches on cam FOR FREE!
(7 years ago)
stretch likes this
Inquiring minds want to know. Is her face or ass on cam when she farts?
(7 years ago)
I should copy write the word "camfart". I could get a cut off of every time she cuts one.
(7 years ago)
I think we decided the only way of verifying a genuine camfart was by viewing the orifice during said expulsion.
(7 years ago)
steelrat60 and juicy like this
Um.... no LOL
(7 years ago)
Fri, 17-Jun-16 10:20 PM (7 years ago)
tip
So.... I go to Mellow Mushroom for lunch to go. I forget my glasses. Not good for menu reading. Ended up with a Gourmet White. It all worked out, after I pulled the Roma tomatoes off.
Smell my breath. Lots of garlic on that pizza.
(7 years ago)
Make him fold his socks.
(7 years ago)
Sock foldin is wimmins work.
(7 years ago)
I'd fold them if he shared that pizza with me!
(7 years ago)
Gotta order bigger pizzas.
(7 years ago)
Sat, 11-Jun-16 9:59 PM (7 years ago)
tip
She showed me her cock.
Hjohns and rhinostool like this
I got Issac Hayes doing By the Time I Get to Phoenix on the radio. Life is good.
(7 years ago)
Sounds like you need somewhere to run to Stretch... May as well be Phoenix
(7 years ago)
Rising from the ashes
(7 years ago)
June 8th
(7 years ago)
June 8th only comes around once a decade.
(7 years ago)
Mon, 6-Jun-16 11:38 PM (7 years ago)
tip
I feel a new block coming on.............
I think he ran out of blocks ...
(7 years ago)
its nice to see that even thought im a messed up troll right now my judgement isent to "off"
(7 years ago)
I think he did too.
(7 years ago)
Anyways. Carry on. grin
(7 years ago)
I buy my grandkids extras so they don't run out.
(7 years ago)
Fri, 3-Jun-16 9:22 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Then she tells me she wouldn't pay 1200 quid for it........
Someone broked status.
(7 years ago)
Bitty.... That ain't the way I heared it!
(7 years ago)
Well at least it not banned!
(7 years ago)
Yet.
(7 years ago)
^^^^ British for "yit".
(7 years ago)
Wed, 4-May-16 10:59 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Stretch missed Klark92's cam show.
Ha! Automatically generated status, stretch? Lol.
(7 years ago)
stretch likes this
Stretch missed KirkJ's cam show.
(7 years ago)
stretch likes this
Stretch breaths a big sigh of relief
(7 years ago)
Kirk stretches a big...NO! NO! Nurse...the brain bleach please.
(7 years ago)
LOL
(7 years ago)
Thu, 14-Apr-16 10:45 PM (7 years ago)
tip
For the record... I did polish DS's knob once I found it.
Revord2 likes this
Once.
(7 years ago)
Yeah, but it did shine.
(7 years ago)
Different strokes for different folks
(7 years ago)
stretch likes this
Thu, 14-Apr-16 9:55 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Kneeslapper?
I forget.
(7 years ago)
i tried that, no guys jumped up on my lap confused
(7 years ago)
Try harder Arti!
(7 years ago)
that hurts...
(7 years ago)
I dunno.
(7 years ago)
Mon, 11-Apr-16 9:41 PM (7 years ago)
tip
She can tell it is fruity because it is orange.
That's not a penis joke
(7 years ago)
You just didn't get it... Not to worry
(7 years ago)
DubbleStrubble likes this
Orange is the new black.
(7 years ago)
That's nearly a penis joke.
(7 years ago)
vodaphone is betterererer
(7 years ago)
Fri, 8-Apr-16 9:21 PM (7 years ago)
tip
WTF. I logged in and could see all pictures big and small.
I quite fancy some Peking duck if you're offering smile
(7 years ago)
Butt you don't know where it's been!
(7 years ago)
I will not make any duck sausage jokes. I just won't.
(7 years ago)
What about liver sausage?
(7 years ago)
Hello Toot smile smile xxoo...............smile smile...........hug and kotc
(7 years ago)
clittylicker likes this
Thu, 7-Apr-16 9:22 PM (7 years ago)
tip
Revord2, post here so everyone can like your post together.
I find him...... Likable.
(7 years ago)
Did you miss out the "c"??
(7 years ago)
Nope.
(7 years ago)
cute butt tooexcept his witt
(7 years ago)
You're all so warped, you make me feel normal... Now hit the fucking like button or else!
(7 years ago)
Wed, 23-Mar-16 9:34 PM (8 years ago)
tip
I'm really a nice guy. Honest.
Diluscious likes this
Guess you thought about inviting me to join that cool kids place ..... LOL
(7 years ago)
I was being ignored round about then.
(7 years ago)
I always ignore dwarves who ignore me first!
(7 years ago)
My stomach is growling.
(7 years ago)
Nice!
(7 years ago)
Show 15 More »
   
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