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Sunday, April 06, 2014, 12:52:19 AM-
Well, I got the car put back together in a mere 1 1/2 hours and it's running fine. Whew!

Today I woke up and said to myself: Self, that backyard needs some work. How bout we rip all the sod out along the fenceline and plant flowers? And Self agreed. So then I said to myself: Self, how bout we make that area about 12-18 inches wide so we can put in LOTS of flowers. I mean LOTS of flowers. And like a dumbass, Self agreed again.

I pondered how much time it would take and how much work it would be to clear the sod and till the dirt and was about to toss the plan in the trash when Self piped up with "you should rent some sort of motorized garden tool." Good idea! I made some calls and got some prices and said to myself: Self, at these prices, I may as well BUY one. Think of all the use I can get out of it. Self, of course, agreed.

I now have a lil garden tiller. It's nothing fancy but dayum it chewed up the grass and dirt like a champ! Tomorrow the planting begins.... if I can move my arms. oops

Hugs,
HP
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"Don't kill yourself, but I'll take all the tomatoes you can't handle. Lazy lam will have to do the tomato planting this yr. So lucky she loves them to or I'd be stuck buying that store bought shit for the summer"
- chargingram


Thursday, April 03, 2014, 1:02:02 AM-
In today's edition of Handy Dandy Automotive Tips we'll discuss the 1997 Chevy Lumina and how the designers had their heads COMPLETELY up their asses.

I'll preface this by saying I'm not a car repair kind of gal. I'm ok with tire pressure, wiper blades, washer fluid and adding gas, but that's about it. I had a car for several years in which I never did find the damn oil dipstick. S'ok. The light would come on and I'd add more. Problem solved.

Anyway, Spawn's car died the other day. Naturally, Poohbare is out of town. I check this and that and, based on my encyclopedic repair knowledge, I determined it's probably a dead battery. No problem! Now where are those jumper cables? Oh yeah... in Poohbare's trunk 350 miles away. No problem! I buy new cables.

I've never personally connected the things before. (With some things I prefer to be a "helpless" female. Never changed a tire either. Go me!) So I read the instructions carefully and.... nothing happens. Hmmmm Double- and triple-check everything and... nothing. Hmmmm Well, I'll just take out the battery and run it to the parts store and have it checked. *pats self on back for being smartical*

This was when I REALLY started looking at the utterly and completely fucked up engine design that's in front of me. [insert colorful language here] The car has now thrown down the gauntlet. Challenge accepted!


See that thing the arrow is pointing at? That's the windshield washer fluid reservoir. See that bar running diagonally? That's a locking bracket that goes over the reservoir. Guess where the battery is. UNDER THE FREAKING RESERVOIR. Yeah.

So... I soak all the bolts with WD-40, get the locking bar off, get the reservoir loosened and... oh hey it won't come out cuz the friggin fuse box is in the way. Get the fuse box moved, the reservoir off and what do I find? Another fuckin locking bracket for the battery. Grrrrr

No problem! Soak those bolts down, get two of em off and... oh hey, looky there... a third bolt waaaaaaay down there in that narrow space. Back to the garage to dig out all the friggin sockets and clicky handle thingies we own and try to figure out what goes with what. Run back to the hardware store with socket and clicky handle and explain the problem. Apparently what I needed was an "extension" or some technical term like that.

Two and one-half hours later, I finally get the battery out of the damn car. ffs

If anyone reading this was on the design team, keep it to yourself. I'm likely to punch you in the throat.

No, I don't know if the car works now. I'll deal with it in the morning. I need a nap.

On a brighter note, I didn't break a nail or even chip the polish. #winning

xoxo
HP
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"lol good for you for trying..I woulda just called CAA!"
- Northern Star


Wednesday, March 12, 2014, 8:00:30 PM-
Yeah....so....the other day I was hanging out on a site that I love, watching the bloodbath and laughing. I swear, the folks there make the meanest day on the forum here look like a warm cuddle. They are ruthless! (It's totally not a naked-people-site, btw. This is important to know for the next paragraph of this blog.)

ANYway, the convo turned and twisted and next thing I know they're making references to "Goatse". I'm thinkin.... Oh no they dint! But they totally did! They actually went there!

Now for those of you who don't know who/what I mean by Goatse, go google it for yourself cuz I'm not namedropping one of NN's most beloved members. Those of you who know... KNOW.

There were laments that the original posting site was closed down (I didn't fact check this) and I'm laughing and sitting on my hands because what I want most to do is type in a sing-song voice (yes, that can be done) "I know where he i-i-i-i-i-is!"

Still giggling,
HP
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"lol! NN's most famous member? wiki...a zillion youtube hits...the, uh, mind boggles!"
- fantasm


Sunday, March 09, 2014, 2:24:38 AM-
Ah.... the "Terrible Twos" have arrived in full-force! Hmmmm.... the "Terrible Eighty-Twos" is technically more accurate, but doesn't have the same ring to it.

Four score and two years ago.... bah. Whatever.

Mom slips more and more into her dementia. I had some stuff typed out on that topic, but no, I'll keep that to myself.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I've been keeping busy with my painting and quilting and slow descent into madness.

Hugs,
HP
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"When you least expect it life gives you another chance BTS"
- Spare -Change


Friday, March 07, 2014, 1:29:29 AM-
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"better: corn has ears...just sayin'"
- fantasm


Thursday, March 06, 2014, 1:20:38 AM- Stolen from facebook
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"fakin rick rolled, agin! :("
- woderwick


Tuesday, March 04, 2014, 8:12:40 PM- For you, Fan :)
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"As henri says, I'm surrounded by morons (present company excepted) :)"
- fantasm


Monday, March 03, 2014, 1:51:16 AM- Hey Support!
You guys in the office? Checking messages? Dealing with issues? Cuz that one I submitted on the 22nd is still pending with no response other than the auto reply email.

kthxbye
HP
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"Great minds and whatnot. ;)"
- his_princess


Thursday, February 27, 2014, 10:12:10 PM-
Oh dear. I've created a monster. The Spawn asked if she could play with the oil paints. She's hijacked my easel, brushes, paints, canvas ... heck, the whole spare room! lol

All good though. I hear her in there singing away while she paints, so I know she's happy. Can't grumble too much about that.

:)
HP
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"Amazing how our young uns follow us in life. Mine is writing now :)
Congrats to you and your young un for sharing a great hobby."
- OldTroubador


Tuesday, February 25, 2014, 2:37:28 AM-
Tomorrow I can do final highlights on the painting. While I impatiently watch the paint dry, I'm getting some more canvases prepped and starting the first few steps on something for the Spawn.

A wonderfully kind man who many of you know has very generously agreed to allow me to use one of his photos when I'm ready to try doing a landscape. I only hope I can do it justice. The hardest part is narrowing down which photo to choose as each one I look at is more beautiful than the next. Decisions decisions!

Hugs,
HP
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"share them all!!!!"
- joeytomatoes


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