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Page 9 of 58

Thursday, October 22, 2009, 10:56:25 PM- Last night!

I wasn't gonna share this with anybody...but I just cant keep things to myself! (I should learn that really!)

I was sound asleep in my bed last night, when I felt a sudden gust of air in my eye, kinda like somebody blowing right into my eye.

I woke up, wide awake, trying to figure out what had just happended (as you would obviously!)

My pest of a dog had sneaked up onto the bed next me and was sound asleep on my pillows. I gave him a little nudge for waking me up by sneezing in my face, only to be totally gobsmacked and disgusted to realize that he wasn't facing me.......

He landed on the other side of the room!!!!!!

Viewers Comments (9):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"LMAO!" - skye.pe

Tuesday, October 6, 2009, 6:09:58 PM- PROOF THAT THE WORLD HAS GONE LOONY!!

In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror (Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick?)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(Much worse than 'going blind!')

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there
Any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Justice?)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.. (Fish stores eh. I wonder why?)

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (I shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only, in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'
(Is the USA a great country or what? Well, not as great as Guam !)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Who volunteers for these tests?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of?????)
(Did our government pay for this research??)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

And, the best for last.

Turtles can breathe through their butts. (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

Viewers Comments (9):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"off to burn 150 calories then bye xxxxxx" - annmilf.

Friday, October 2, 2009, 8:07:25 PM-

If you know me at all, you will know that about 8 years ago I got divorced rather badly....with a lot of questions going unanswered from my other half. At the time, it was all the unanswered stuff that stopped me moving on and that was what took me sooooooo very long to get over it all.

In time, I did get over everything and have moved on in every way. I suppose some of the questions were still there, in the back of my head though.

A couple of nights ago, me and my ex had a couple of drinks together and a very long talk. It really was a long time coming. The outcome is, that I got a heartfelt appology (which when I heard I jumped up and down for 2 minutes before appologising and telling him how many years I had been waiting for that for!!)

What I can't understand (with myself) is that although this all meant so much to me all those years ago, then why do I still feel so cleansed now?

Viewers Comments (7):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"'Cause you heard it from him (finally) and maybe he's grown up a wee bit since. His loss, sill boy X." - Hutcheano

Wednesday, September 23, 2009, 7:06:37 PM- Last night!

I had probably THE BEST sex I have ever had in my life!! Not to mention, that it was a 3-some...but thats not why it was so very good!! One of the guys I had sex with was just so very experienced and sooooo good.........

It was visual, sensual and just fucking amazing!! The only problem I am having today with it all is that I can't remember who either of these guys were.

I am having an early night tonight, to try to find out!

Viewers Comments (8):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"One of them was me...or should have been! xxJon" - jonwyn

Saturday, September 19, 2009, 10:31:09 PM-

The last couple of weeks have been non-stop, but tomorrow I have one of those very rare things, that I haven't seen much of lately!!

I think it's called a day-off!!!

YAYYYY me!!!!

Yesterday was probably the worst day of all....I had an early morning at the stables before having to leave early to go to my real work and pull the (yukky) late shift. In between I had to run to the shops and get the stuff for the party that I had been talked into throwing.

I did get very stroppy though at one point and fell out with absolutely everybody and stormed outa the house, lol, before I realised it was my house I was storming out of...(after that I just kinda sheepishly wandered back in)

While I still stand by my reasoning for being pissed off with everybody, I do think that alcohol and excessive tiredness are not really a great combination!

**trying to learn**

Viewers Comments (6):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Me stomps foot too if it makes you feel better..smile" - By-the-Sea

Saturday, August 22, 2009, 10:16:36 PM-

Grrrrrr, I was asked to swap a shift next Saturday because somebody had a birthday party to go to. No problem, I had nothing on, so I said yes and I even have the cleaning to do that night to because the cleaner is going to a party too. Again, no biggie, I had nothing on anyway......

I was out for half an hour last night and bumped into somebody I haven't seen in ages!! It was at that point I got handed an invite to the same party everybody else is going to, but the one it seems I am not going to be at!

Hmmmpffffff!!!

Viewers Comments (6):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"The "I had nothing on" part got my attention, but for other reasons I think. :) And that sucks!! :( Sorry, hun." - mdguy

Tuesday, August 18, 2009, 3:44:22 PM-

I have more or less recovered from last night, lol...not very nice at all!!

It was my youngest's first day at the high school today, which made me feel old...never mind the fact that my eldest goes off to college at the end of this month!!

I am having a very OMG I feel so old day to myself today!!

Now will somebody pass me my slippers and my knitting....

Viewers Comments (5):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"You certainly don't LOOK old! :p" - mdguy

Thursday, August 6, 2009, 10:29:31 PM-

Okay, I really don't think I could have been so embarrassed ever!!!

I finished work early today...some time around 3pm, I think. I had been in from 9am and hadn't had any lunch before I left, but I had to go and do some shopping before I went home. I was really hungry but had decided to wait till I got home before I ate (big mistake, lol)

So, there I was standing in the queue at the check-out with about half a dozen folks standing behind me as I got served. Now, I do know the girl who served me so we were chatting away when it happened!!!

My stomach started making the loudest noise I have ever heard it make before......I thought "Okay, let it go and nobody will notice" But it had a different idea! It kept getting louder and sounded lower pitched with ever (slowww) second that passed by.

That is when I realised that this noise was no ordinary 'belly rumble' noise and nobody around me would take it as that.......but no explaining would help my cause, and would probably only make the people around me think different the more that I protested.

It all happened so quickly that I really didn't have the time to think, never mind splurt an excuse out.....I just gave the cashier a strange look and grabbed my change before running outa the shop with a very red face..

BUT....I didn't know that my belly could make (BIG) farty noises...HONESTLY!!!

Viewers Comments (6):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"LMFAO! shame you didnt know beforehand....you coulda used the self nerve (gas) checkout!! I'll get me coat!!" - likklelarry.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009, 10:54:14 PM- Bootayyy caller....

I'm just wondering......are there rules for booty calls? I'm still finding my feet with this kinda stuff. But I am finding myself very niave with the way it all works, lol....

I am probably the most laid back person you could ever meet when it comes down to needs (I did the needy relationship thing(s) a few years ago and now I am probably as anti-needy as it gets!!) but I do need some guidance here......

Are there rules, or is the rule that there are no rules?

**so confused!!**

Viewers Comments (13):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"You just call out my name, and you know whereever I am, i'll come running, come running to see you again. Winter spring summer or fall, all you you have to do is call, and I'll be there, yes I'll be there, you've got a friend." - MBE

Sunday, August 2, 2009, 8:48:10 PM-

We didn't do go ape, we did something way more scary than that...well when I say we, i really mean everybody except from me(lol, I did say that I wasn't gonna do it!!)

A short clip of what "we" did exactly!!

[url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7743250.stm[/url]

And then the total "we" (me included) went to Camera Obscura in Edinburgh, which was a whole lotta fun. Even my youngest was impressed and that really does take some doing, believe me!!

We had to stop off on the way so she could use the loo.....OMFG, that was the most expensive toilet stop ever!!!! We chose the Rutland, on Princes Street to let her go....but we had to buy drinks to use the toilet and then we had to buy food to get in with a kid.... £25 later, she felt much better, lol

Then after all the fun, we wandered down the Royal Mile and went to get some dinner....and all the adults had a few cocktails too

)

After a giggle of a bus ride back home and lots of dirty looks from the bus driver and all the other passengers on the bus we got back home and decided we were gonna make a night of it after having so much fun all day. My mates decided that we were all just gonna crash at my house last night, I think I was the 3rd outa 4 of us to fall asleep....but somehow ended up being the first one awake and the one who had to do all the cooking this morning for breakfast....

All in all, it was a very fun filled weekend

Viewers Comments (8):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"jeez...I threw up just watching that clip!" - rodin09