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|Wednesday, November 26, 2014, 5:09:26 PM-|
Walking from work, to get my bus home, saw there was frost covering the cars, not a lot, but enough to think off that there will be a lot more in my village.
Gutted on reaching my village and seeing no frost,, how very unusual to have frost at sea level and none, when i live.
So did not even bother going out, sat on the chair and dosed off.
Eventually to bed,, for the first time in a while, my day time insomnia, was not there, first decent sleep in weeks.
Had fallen into my old night time routine, of not sleeping, this was hard when i worked days, but working nights, was even harder.
I walked a short distance when i got up, thinking off, now getting these blogs back on track, back to sharing a little bit more, than i have.
All around the roads in my village, there is seats, some have very nice views, might be a future project there.
I was sitting just having a look around, seeing what might, be there too take pictures off one day.
Heard a noise to my side, out popped a Fox, so close i could have clapped it, stopped in its track and then just walked on.
Really, should carry a camera at all times, usually, i would have had one.
But, you get up and walk on eventually, time to head home, things to do, at home, before i head for work.
I never, use to walk down here, well i did a while ago, there was once a lot more wood.
Cut down, to make a field, now it is more a rough bit of ground, but there looks like a lot off potential for pictures.
|Tuesday, November 25, 2014, 4:14:25 PM-|
Been doing a bit off thinking, never a good thing, lol.
The blog, i posted yesterday was a lot longer, but i decided to cut it down a lot.
Been wondering if i should have left the rest.
If someone professes to still love you and still wants you, why do they continue to hurt you with blackmail.
How would they want to use my little blog against me, or the fact that i even on an adult site, to continuely threaten to tell my family, to tell my work,, to put posters up in my village.
When it was her idea for me to come on here in the first place, somewhere to share the naughty side off a realtionship.
She had an account on here, but is no longer on, so she says,maybe i should have got her user name from her,, but i am not one off those insecure people, who need to know, what there partner is doing all the time.
Never have been and never will, all about trust.
How something so perfect, can turn to shit.
Not happy about, a picture i posted, not happy about what i wrote, not happy about so much.
Now i am not perfect in anyway, far from it, i need me time, time to do my own things, not a lot to ask for.
She wants me to shut the account, reason the Whokens name is one she came up with,, me i would like to change it,, the simple idea of a change to Whoknows is one i would like to do, now if i had confidence in support i would ask, but after what i posted yesterday, am not sure it would happen.
My other option is to just delete and start again, would lose all my friends,would lose the pm, i have kept from special people, would lose 900 odd days off premium, but that does not bother me to be honest.
My blog was a release, my blog gave me purpose, my blog helped push me along the road i am on now, my blog gave me a love off photography and the first place i shared pictures,, end off the day it always should have been my blog ,, to do what i want to write and share, what i wanted,, my place off freedom, it once was,,a place i still need.
So writing this can cause me a whole lot off trouble, but it is just time to see,, if she really did love me or not, eventually, you can not get pushed any further into a corner, time to see, what i really meant to her..
Sorry for the long blog.
Last little colours off Autumn in the garden, never had leaves as late, but it has been so mild, crazy weather,to be honest.
|Monday, November 24, 2014, 1:58:21 PM-|
When i use to write my blogs, it just the words , just flowed out, how easy it was, now i take longer and longer to write, sometimes i leave it, for hours and then, go back.
I know the reasons it has changed, but will i just forget them and go back to what i use to write, to be honest, i feel as my blogs, have lost there way,like standing on the edge off cliff, you can see the path across the other side, but just not worked out how to get there.
Am i changing to much, to even be on here now, it has never been about the adult side off here, i made the most special friends,i have met so many wonderful people, pity a lot are not around now, but still a few are.
I will admit, i am still pissed at the lack off response from support, a simple can't do anything about that, would be enough for me.
I live a different way off life from most, simple, like me, but it works.
For all i say i am simple man, i am not stupid, far from it.
I have values i live by, ones that will never change.
One from weeks ago, if, you ask me, where i am at my happiest, this is it, pure and simple, early or late evening waiting to take pictures.
|Friday, November 21, 2014, 10:04:26 PM-|
Today, was kind off big day for me, i used one off my pictures as a screensaver, out off all the ones i have taken, put an old shot off the river up,, i was wanting to see, more what one looked on a bigger screen,, for i am going to be getting some printed.
I was looking at some off my very early pictures the other night amd sharing some off them, how clear they all were to me, some i can remember my mood was very grey, when i took them, photography was my. first way of seeing light.
How lucky i am, for i found my path in life again, one that is for the main part happy.
I stood on the cliff top and looked down, all the rocks i used for focus points below clear to see.
I remember so much, here and all along this coastline, some places, i might never step foot onto again, one in particular,sticks so much in my mind.
I know if i was to go here, i would sit on a rock and cry,tears of what might have been, tears off i will just never know.
Sometimes i do think it would do me good, truth probably is, i am just not ready,, maybe that will be part off phase 3.
|Wednesday, November 19, 2014, 6:44:53 PM-|
I enjoyed taking pictures in the fog, gives a different look.
|Monday, November 17, 2014, 6:16:34 PM-|
For the first time in years, we got a day off fog,, never had it as bad for so long.
I went out to take pictures in it and that was the only time it lifted for a little while, but not for long.
It made for some nice pictures, tried to get pictures off the spider webs, that were everywhere and failed,, there was a wind and the it was causing me to many problems.
I sat on a fallen tree and was thinking,, had a conversation with a friend, about numbers..
I had said, that if number of views or comments were my thing, i would have stopped posting on here a while ago, never has and never will be, that for me,when you get caught up in that, i think it would take the fun out off, why being on here,, but that is me
The conversation had come about, as i post pictures elsewhere, posted a long exposure one and it got a lot off good response,a lot of comments and also over a 100 odd likes,,but that is a different world from here, for me two seperate things, i take so many pictures,, i share different ones in different places.
I also took my first pictures, that will be getting published as well,,
I just like sharing,, advised to put the price off my photos up as well,, the one one that could count as getting something for , was a Mars bar gifted lol, was told i should charge 2 Mars Bars.
I get asked in all seriousness, if i would consider selling prints off my work, truth is,, i have not got the confidence to sell myself,, plus, i am, just learning,, i get lucky and take some nice pictures, i never think they are that special, see so many pictures, every day that are better than mine.
But as usual, sit and think to much at times,, how varied the subjects are in my head,, but now the fog is coming down, time to take some more pictures.
I walked into the fog, how, as it falls the temperature drops as well, me all wrapped up and just enjoying the moment
|Saturday, November 15, 2014, 9:47:45 PM-|
So i managed to get too the coast yesterday. was not looking , great when i woke.
But decided after some lunch to head off.
I got there and dedided to go too a little bay, never taken any pictures here, not been down there for so very long.
So walking along the cliff top, to where i remember that path goes down, stepp, but still it is an easy descend.
Getting down and i am happy, nice little surf rolling up the beach.
Sat and looked around,, saw where i wanted to go and walked and set up, i decide to try long exposure pictures.
I bought a 10 stop filter so long ago, paid a lot of money for what had,been an ornament, till yesterday.
So started taking my pictures, first picture was taken over a 2 minute exposure.
Could see some nice features, just continued for a while taking these,, then the sun is setting, i was foiled, by a large bank off cloud, where the sun was setting, but still got some pictures.
Taking a break, just sitting and thinking, how the last time i was here, someone with me, we had a picnic, in the summer evening, so warm, that day, lying side by side as the sun was setting, her hand reached over,, the tell tale sign of someone wanting some fun.
So many happy memories.
But darkness starting to come in, the climb, back up a cliff, head lamp, out on and i walk, back up, my path well lit up.
Getting too, the top castle too my left, could not visit here and not take a picture off that castle, place, i had dreams about, nice happy dreams, dreams that might come true over there as well.
A new memory made
|Thursday, November 13, 2014, 5:36:41 PM-|
Been a good old week so far, work has been funny at times,, painting floors and more off what i usually do.
Sleep is back to how it use to be just over 4hrs, must be what i need.
Plans afoot for tomorrow, sunset is looking, like it could be a goer.
Checked where, the sun was going to set, place picked, got an idea off a picture.
But i need to get out,, been 4 weeks since i took, any landscape pictures, seascape, this time, place where i am going to spend a few times over the next few months.
I love this area, the ruggedness off the coast draws me in, plus, i have many old memories and making new ones.
I have places in my mind along here for future pictures.
I suppose some off them, the seed was planted when i spent time along here, so many years ago.
Time well spent, sunny days and naked swimming in the sea here.
Even in the winter, sitting on top off the cliffs, watching storms below us, feeling the salt spray, all the way up here.
I mentioned before, how i once would never walk here, the memories from the past, were, what i had in my mind, that stopped me,, stupid really.
But now, i walk all thes places,, got one last part off the coast to really visit,soon, so very so.
Hopefully will have some fresh stuff to show, after tomorrow.
But i still liked this one, fun seeing how a raw image develops as i try and get it looking like it actually was.
|Wednesday, November 12, 2014, 5:29:40 PM-|
Well the Gang of Three is now the Gang of Four, new addition to the men off a certain age, who walk the roads, where i live.
I passed them today, as i was on my way round the woods,,said see the gang is getting bigger, one replies, safety in numbers.
For as long as i can remember, there has been a group of retired men, that walked, i use to wonder what they talked about, then my uncle joined the gang, then it was 4 off them as well, all grew up together.
I was around 10 at the time, i use to meet them on the roads,sometimes i walked home with them.
I learned exactly what they talked about, the old days, when they were my age, then there was sports and just what was going on in the world,, how simple there solutions to problems seemed to me.
If i get to retirement age,, i think my gang will be off one, i will probably meet a gang of three or four on my travels.
I will say my hello's and walk on, my journies upto now, have been solitary ones, can not see that changing.
I will carry a camera with me, still recording what i see, will share it somewhere, show, what i see.
I wonder even what a future camera will be like.
Some will see me and think, there is that lonely old man, no friends in the world,, but they will not know off my online friends, the ones that hopefully i will still have around.
I never thought, that someone, you might never meet, can mean so much to you, me i have been real lucky in the ones i have let get close to me on here.
I am very thankful for that, they pushed me, when i needed it.
I am truly one lucky simple man.
A little more recent, lying on the road taking a picture, as people walked by, how the fungi is all around, if you just open your eyes.
|Tuesday, November 11, 2014, 7:06:38 PM-|
I have been enjoying, returning to old photos, the last few weeks.
The memories off the day, returns, the thoughts i had on those days as well.
I nipped out this morning,took the camera, never took a picture off any sorts.
Stood in a field, all set up and watched the day dawning, so quiet and peaceful, i was in here.
Could hear a Buzzard to my right, how noisy, they can be times,, it is only in the last 10yrs or so, they have really started to populate, my area.
I never seen one growing up, around here,, i can rememeber the first time i did see one, on the army ranges at Kirkubright, it was in a tree,i knew straight away, what it was and, just stood and watched for ages, forgot the reason, i was in this place in the first time.
I just packed up, headed for home, tiredness, hitting me, walked by the bench, that someone wants to sit on,one day, i hope to make that dream come true.
I walked the road, thinking off Starry, how i need to get the one last shot for her collection off the road,, i just hope we get some snow, so i can, work or nothing will get in the, way off that picture.
Turning up the lane, so close to home, first dog walker off the day passes me, won't be the last as well.
From a day last year, was when as i was lying to take the shot, a dog decided my wellingtons was a good place to relieve, himself,, sometimes, you just have to laugh
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