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|Wednesday, October 29, 2014, 7:24:47 PM-|
I had noticed, yesterday, that the weather might not be too bad this morning.
I was sitting on the bus, dozing away as normal,getting closer to my little village and i notice the sky.
It was looking not too bad, there was nice red colour, in layers among the dark cloud.
So stepping off the bus and seeing the cars with some frost on them,, thinking first one this year.
Walking, the short walk home, mind in turmoil bed or chase the light, i was so very tired, till i got in the house, i had not made my mind up.
But once in it was like i just went into a fresh burst of life, camera and tripod grabbed and into the wellingtons.
So i got to the top of the road, left turn, walk 75ish yrds and climb into the field.
Here i took my first shot, forgot all about the nice pair of jeans , i had on and promptly knelt of a bit of sheep poo.
I think the added,dirty patch was worth it,, a long exposure to start with, how a 30sec shot gives movement to the sky and the illusion of it was lighter, than it was.
But going down to the road, was where i was just intending to go too, no further, but then,i hear an inner voice, go further, you are not tired.
SO i crossed into a field, walked down the slope, took a few pictures, then walked further.
Never felt tired now.
Getting a little lighter now, only a 10sec exposure this time.
Just a simple shot, not that much happening in it.
So getting to the top of the slope, firing of a few more pictures, thinking now it is actually cold, noticed the jeans now, had a little more coating to them, must have been when i jumped a fence and it was nice and muddy the other side.
Overlooking so much of my playground now, the places where i am my happiest, places of memories from the past and memories, still to be made.
Why do i take pictures, it is for like mornings like this, when you take the chance and just go for it, i feel a glow inside me as i line up my shots, i smile as i take them and then, when i share them i smile again.
So now reallity kicks in and i have over a mile to walk home now, the adrenalin is gone, tiredness is winning.
But as i walk,i need to keep my mind active, thinking about blogs, thinking that i need to get back posting, thinking, of how, i still need them.
Thinking about how, when in a conversation with Boredmum and she saying she missed them.
That was the moment i had to decide,still it took a few weeks to come to an answer.
People have been so kind with all the comments and the views as well, i did feel like that i have let people down, i am sorry about that, but i realized in a way, i have let myself down.
So today, i got my answer.
|Monday, October 27, 2014, 5:23:21 PM-|
Back on my beloved nights,feel a lot better already this week,how much it effected me was very noticably to me.
I think it is only 9 weeks today till i am on holiday, for near too, two weeks.
Looking forward to it,i only have one day to take before that, keeping for now, wasted too many, when we had no work at work, now see it as 8 wasted days, but that is the way it goes.
Next year, i am 50, supposed to be a big thing, not that i see it like that.
I am in a better place in life now,, i am glad off that,wasted years, were learning years, i see that, have to, could, have so nearly drove me crazy at times,but i was lucky, i came through it all, there is a light at the end of the road, that is for sure.
I made a good decision to stop, spending as much on my photography, learn more and take pictures with, what i have.
I am going to save for a year, then buy one piece of gear, i know, what i want, if i have not saved enough for that,, it will be a two year wait.
I got told i was too disciplined in my ways,it is like, you are just too nice, never understood that one either.
Life is confusing at times, it has twist and turns, ups and downs,the road can be rocky, there is light and dark, but in the end, it is just life, take the days as they come,just enjoy it, we only get the one.
From just over 8 months ago, been returning to old pictures, i am learning more about the editing of pictures all the time, this was taken as it was just becoming dark, i can remember it well.
In this picture, there once was 5 people and 2 dogs, i took them out off it, it is something i am learning too do now.
I try and get my shots without people in them, but public areas should and do have people in them.
And sometimes it just all works out and you get your crazy sky, that day in March, was like that, standing in the cold and just watching all that was happening before me, the smile was there, i learned a lot that night, but i am still learning now..
|Saturday, October 25, 2014, 9:58:41 PM-|
For the most part, this was the worst week of the year for me,, for someone to have just thrown there arms around me and give me a hug, would have been so special.
Sometimes it is easier to say all is well, when it is not really, once i would have wrote it all here, that has changed.
I never even ran to the woods, talked to the trees and let them take away my worries.
But at the end off the day, all my problems were little ones, compered to so many others, that people have.
I was in the house tonight myself, spent it going through some old pictures , i have taken over the last few months.
I can remember, so much when i look at them.
Will start of with some of the fungi, i got on picture, missed the best off them this year,, was in a funk for a few weeks.
How this one had a little eaten away, caught my eye, lying in a ditch, getting wet, nothing new there.
I showed a picture from this set before, was meant to be this one, what do i remember about this, ripped my trousers on a fence, when i climbed over.
All packed together, i will return to this tree stump each year and take a picture.
When i showed someone this earlier, she said, i must blog it,i was trying to be creative.
I was lying on the ground, just going to take the picture, when the wind blew, i ended up catching that moment, when the seed heads, were getting blown into the world.
My landscape,what i like doing, the fields, in the picture, i have walked in them all.
The large green field at the bottom, is where the geese are feeding just now,, can be upto a thousand in there at times.
I spent ages one year sitting in gulley watching them, was so nice to do, next year i might have a lens, i could do those magnificent birds justice in picture.
|Tuesday, October 21, 2014, 9:02:51 PM-|
If after waiting six months to get an answer,from support, should i just give up.
A simple question asked and one that could have been answered so easily.
I am so looking forward to being back on nights, i really dislike working days, all the problems i had before are even worse now.
I am just better working alone,at the end off the day, left to just get the job done and go home.
We got the tailend of the hurricane that hit the other side of the pond, very very windy.
With the high tide and wind direction i stood and watched the waves pounding the harbour.
I was also getting ready to unload a lorry, driver had undone one part of his curtain and was on the second half, when a gust of wind caught his curtain and flung the steel pole towards him, seeing i grabbed him and pulled him away, just as it landed, where he had been standing.
Anyway only 2 more days, then hopefully some new pictures, camera is all bagged up and ready for action.
I am just hoping there is some leaves left on trees, to get some more Autumn colour.
Another part of the river, will be a different picture today, river will be running high, not like that day, when i was so peaceful, with the sun hitting the tree tops and the water flowing nice as well.
|Sunday, October 19, 2014, 6:04:47 PM-|
I woke early, this morning, practice for the week ahead maybe, just hope i can get through those 4 days.
I decided i was going for a walk,it was raining and very windy, pitch black as well.
So walking on the road for the first part, the noise off the wind in the tress, leaves falling and i saw a large branch was lying on the road, pulled it to the side.
First thing i met on the road was a sheep, must have came from the field to myside, it ran off and i never seen it again.
Then the heavans opened, it was so heavy, hearing like a drum on my hood,,but strange i like mornings like this.
I got too the woods, no options today, river to high to cross, so i walked the lng way round,, all the time the wind blowed, to my right a branch came off a tree,
Still so dark today, but i had my little headlamp on, gone are the days, i would walk in the dark,, this getting old, makes me more careful.
I got to a sheltered spot, where i could sit and eat,just a few digestive biscuits and some water, no need for more.
Sitting listening too all that was going on around me, the river racing by to my left, the sound of a tractor to my right and then a large branch coming down about 50yrds away.
Sitting thinking that if it is as wet as last year, i am not going to walk the same, spend more time at the coast, till the fields and trails dry up.
I thought of this plan, early this year, when after one day, when i was 4" deep in mud, chasing a sunrise, got the picture, but it was just not fun.
Chase the sunsets over the sea a bit more,got some ideas on things to shoot.
The rain stopped, day was now breaking,time to head home.
The moment, when the sun is just staring to rise and the magic happens, how from dark to this in such a short time, it never lasts for long sometimes, but that morning was a good one, just got better and better all around me.
|Friday, October 17, 2014, 8:49:59 PM-|
So,at work, man says to me, do you never let anyone get to close too you.
I just laughed and said no,
When i walked last weekend and since then i have thought about that.
Same answer always came up, only once.
Only one person, that really worked me out in life. Well she thought she did, but in truth, she was the only person, that i broke down my walls for totally.
I was sitting at the foot of a mountain, Eve was doing her rock chick thing, climbimg with all the grace in the world.
I watched as she climbed higher, then came back down, she sat and said, out the blue, i have finally done it, i have worked you out.
I just laughed, then she did do a pretty good job in telling me about me, she saw what i done, how i only let people get so close, how i use my shyness too my advantage, as i can sit and watch people and work them out.
How i never give trust out, how i am the strong person, i was.
When i told her, i let her see it all, i was just so comfortable with her, she was like me, in so many ways.
I had no reason to keep her out, loved her like hell then and still do, too this day, not a day goes by, whre i do not miss her.
When i walk, she probably comes into my thoughts more than anyone, She had the same love of the outdoors, we would have went to some amazing places, for me too take my pictures, she would have got a bigger kick out off, them than me, she was also, the first person, i knew, that took pictures and developed her own, film in those days.
She had a real talent, as well, she loved black and whites, loved to take pictures of our mountains, show the drama in a picture.
She was also, the first person, that put a camera, in my hands, too take a picture.
So after all these years, i miss her still as much, can never see that changing.
Nowadays, i do let people get a little closer, than i use too,i can see that and am happy to do so.
From last weekend, the sun hit the top of the trees, lit them up so well and i got my little picture.
Tomorrow,if i go out, i am going to do long exposure pictures, for the most part, time to learn how to do this properly now, will be fun.
|Wednesday, October 15, 2014, 2:07:09 PM-|
I have to work days next week, not looking forward to it, at all,but i will survive.
Is life, really as good as i make it, out to be, for the vast majority of time it is.
I just keep things simple, no great expectations in it.
My path has had a few twist and turns, but that is life.
I walk the fields most days, where once i always walked with the camera, i now can walk with out.
I once only really sat to think, to cry sometimes, to feel like screaming at the world, realizing, the only person that can make you change is yourself, but seeing how people pushed, you towards it, helps make you focus.
I am not the same person, that first came on here,, sad and lonely was my first ever status on here,, i keep it as a reminder.
The past has held me back, but that was my own doing, i was not ready to move on, was it wasted years, some probably was, but they all went towards the person i am now.
I like to think i am a fairly decent person, i let people get close, that i want too though, that will never change, some have tried to break that wall down, but it will never happen, i am just too wary of people in general.
I am back doing something, that was once a big part in my life, not really going to blog about that much, if at all.
I still take pictures, but i am more planned in what i shoot now,, i decide, what i am wanting to take, but then mother nature, decides, that i am to get something totally different,
Like when i walked on Saturday, my plan was for Autumn colours on the river, colour was not quite ready yet,, but i got my dramatic sky with the crazy colours, smiles on a face as i took my shots,yes,, still get that moment, always will i hope.
So that is where i am, where i will be tomorrow or the next day, who knows,, for the future is still to be lived.
One i took, looking down the estuary, so peaceful looking,so focused i was, never even noticed the dog, that thought it was a good idea to christen my tripod, till the owner said sorry.
|Sunday, October 12, 2014, 9:12:22 PM-|
So for a change yesterday, i decided, first bus to town and walk along the shore.
So i was on the shore for 7am, dark still, only me and the seagulls, walking along and the waves rolling in,, got a picture in my head and i knew, then time would not allow it today,, just to far to walk and not enough time,, yes one off, those moments , when i knew i should have a driving licence.
So, as i walk i am watching the sky, there is some action and i take a few pictures, i love how the aeroplanes effect the picture with the vapour trails,, some hate it, me i just like to see, colour in the sky.
My head is empty of thought now,, i am standing on the bridge looking down the estuary,, i see a nice leading line heading out and with the cloud reflection,, in the water, i take my shots.
How red the sky is becoming the sun rising behind me is giving the clouds, some crazy colours.
I look over towards the castle,, where i wanted to be so much,, i got this one, cropped it to try and get the best out off it.
Today was so different, the fields and woods.
A quick walk turned into nearer 4hrs,, i lose all track of time, when i am here, my place to think, where i can just sit and make plans,, the place where the things i keep to myself are shared,, yes i talk too trees.
Sitting now it is the leaves rustling all around you here, the slightest breze sends them off, then they fall, sitting and failing to catch them in the air as they drop,, but so much fun.
I hear birds singing and cows mooing in the distance,, we over a mile from home and i hear the ice cream van and the tune he plays.
I could sit for longer,, my phone ringing in my pocket, stirs me,, are you not coming for your dinner, oops i am late again.
When i can sit and look at this,,why be in a hurry.
|Friday, October 10, 2014, 7:44:05 PM-|
Signs of Autumn are all around,, the sun behind the fast changing colours of the leave, makes for a nice picture too me.
These are my little signs,, i walk in the woods and fields in days like this, can be cold and can be wet,, but i enjoy it all,, seeing leaves falling like confetti, is all around.
I can sit and watch for ages,, listen to the water off a river or stream, near by.
I also find new things,, learn new things,, seen a tree for years,, i knew it was a chestnut type ,, but never sure what and then this year i see, this for the first time.
So i saw the fruit on the ground,, never seen this before,, so i took a picture,then found out it is a Sweet Chestnut,, nice to learn new things.
So close the other day, for the first frosts,coming out off work, all wrapped up and gloved for the first time,, nice mornings these,, but i was more interested in bed.
Tomorrow, morning i hope to walk the shoreline, first bus is my plan and then walk the couple of miles along there,, been over a year since i have done this,, just walk and snap, hope to get that one picture,, but i get no keepers,, i will still walk and enjoy..
Hope everyone, has a great weekend
|Sunday, October 05, 2014, 6:37:44 PM-|
Been another fine week,, weather has now changed a lot,colder and a little, wetter,but still nice.
Work is a little better,interesting at times, but same old job, but i like to be working.
I had a conversation with someone during the week, his wife has been cheating on him and she has destroyed his life, by doing so,, sounds bad,, but he has cheated on her god knows how many times.
Think we was wanting me to agree with him or something,, never liked , when i said it is just karma,he said it is ok for men to cheat, but not for a woman too.
In the end i got fed up listening to him and went off and done something.
Climbed to the top off the castle cliff yesterday, sounds dramatic, but it is a nice easy climb, only slipped once, when i was just stepping back onto the shore.
But so very peaceful up there,, set up the camera and took some shots,, got a few pictures..sun was just too powerful in many.
But lying on the ground up there, looking down, is very nice, you see all the patterns in the sand, the little gulleys cutting there way through, makes such great shapes.
Nealry got christened by a seagull, missed me by inches.
But i was chasing the light, but it was just not what i was wanting.
THe castle from the bottom, i thought the tide, would have been higher at around sunset, this was what i needed as well as the actual sunset lol.
But as i was walking around the beach earlier and looking over towards town i managed to get another thing i was chasing for ages.
I got a bit off a rainbow,, i actually got a bit off 2 in one picture, it is a start, now to hopefully get the whole thing one day.
But i have my photography bug, back, the rest has done me good, i an still learning all the time, which i love, keeps the mind ticking over.
Life is one big smile just now,,this simple man, just keeps doing his simple thing in life..
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